How the West was won: LA Kings 2011-12 timeline

"Careful, Dustin, this rug is awfully slippery. We wouldn't want you to fall so easily."

Last night, the Los Angeles Kings beat the Phoenix Coyotes in overtime to clinch the Western Conference and advance to the franchise's second Stanley Cup Final.  This is good news for us Twitter maniacs, as this means the LA Kings' Twitter account will be busy through the Finals.  So how did this Kings run to the Finals come to be?


June 23rd: Flyers GM Paul Holmgren promises Kings GM Dean Lombardi that trading for Mike Richards would help him land the Richards he really wanted to sign.

June 24th: Mike Richards sends Jeff Carter a sympathy card postmarked Columbus, Ohio.

July 2nd: Brad Richards signs with the Rangers, to nobody's surprise.  Except a very frustrated Dean Lombardi.

July 3rd: Lombardi calls Gary Bettman to see if the NHL has rejected Ilya Kovalchuk's second contract with the Devils yet.

October 7th: The Kings open their season in Sweden (yes, the NHL used to do that...) against the New York Rangers.  Hmm...

October 13th: The Kings play their first game in North America, against the New Jersey Devils.  Hmm...

Biggest surprises in the 2012 playoffs (so far)

A collection of objects that went through Ilya Bryzgalov's five-hole this month.

The 2012 Stanley Cup playoffs turned four weeks old this past Wednesday, and by now, most people's brackets have been ruined.  Things haven't exactly gone as 'experts' thought they would to this point, but there have been more surprises than just which teams are still playing.  Here's what I mean.

• Jeremy Roenick called out several Russian players in the playoffs this season.  None of them were his ex-teammates in San Jose.
   
• After beating the Bruins in Game 7, Caps GM George McPhee said he might break the team's tradition of trading away their best goalie after flopping in the playoffs.
   
• Jamie Langenbrunner's team is on the brink of being bounced out of the playoffs in the second round.  The real surprise is that Jamie Langenbrunner's team hasn't been bounced out already.
   
• It's surprising that with all the bad shots Michael Yormark took at Devils fans that none of them went through Ilya Bryzgalov's five-hole.
   
• Tyler Seguin's popularity among females is gaining on Justin Bieber's.

A fan's guide to dealing with elimination

Pictured: Marc-Andre Fleury's 5-hole in NYC.  Or maybe that's the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel.  They're the same size...

For 29 NHL fan bases every season, dealing with elimination is a reality.  As much as we dread our team's last game of the season, it's very likely going to happen each year.  For some fan bases, that time has already come, and by this time next week, even more fan bases will be left wondering what went wrong.  But cheer up, because I've provided a coping method.  Here's how you deal with elimination and what to do when it happens.



Why did your team get eliminated?
a) Our goaltender's five-hole makes Michael Leighton's five-hole look microscopic.  Plus, we had so many injuries, and we're obviously the only team that had injuries all season and the refs screwed us over like a million times!  The league hates us!  It's a conspiracy!
b) We got trapped!  And that team won't even be in that city next year...
c) We choked because our superstar players disappear in the playoffs every year!
d) We ran into a really good goalie.  Dammit, I'm going to riot now.
e) We actually have no talent, so we didn't expect to go far.


How would you assess your regular season?
a) We had a good year, but we obviously would have been the best team in the league if we had all of our players healthy...
b) Aside from that one time when we lost like a million games in a row and that other time that we blew that lead, it was pretty good.
c) It was so good that our players got so into games that they were helping out from the bench and everything!
d) You know, I think the President's Trophy is prettier than the Stanley Cup, anyway.
e) We were so bad that even I could crack the lineup...

Hockey experts sound off on Tortorella and Clowe



I don't read minds, but if I had to guess, I'd say he's not very happy there.  Or ever.



Yesterday may have been Good Friday, but the hockey world has seen some not-so-good action over the last week.  First, Rangers coach John Tortorella ripped the Penguins organization and blasted Brooks Orpik for his knee-on-knee hit on Derek Stepan.  That cost "Torts" $20,000.  San Jose's Ryane Clowe, meanwhile, cheated a bit against the Los Angeles Kings.  No, he wasn't paid to injure anyone, but that doesn't make him a Saint.  He reached over the boards and played the puck from the bench.  Here's the reaction that wasn't from hockey experts (please note: this is not real).


Pierre McGuire

On Tortorella - John is one of the best coaches in the league, he's so good with his team.  He should at least be one of the top two or three or twenty finalists for the Jack Adams Trophy.  He's so smart with his team, Doc.
On Clowe - Ryane Clowe is an excellent player.  He's a gritty player and I think every team in the league could use someone like him, but that's just uncalled for.  He should know better than that, but Ryane Clowe is still an exceptional hockey player, Doc.


Mike Milbury

On Tortorella - Well finally someone spoke the truth!  I mean, when was someone gonna man up and tell it like it is?  I love John Tortorella.  The fact that the NHL fined him is stupid and completely idiotic.
On Clowe - There is absolutely nothing wrong with players being a little creative out there.  He helped his team, and if the refs aren't looking, hey, why not?  I wish I had told my players to do that more on Long Island.


Don Cherry

On Tortorella - LISTEN, JOHN, I LOVE YA AND EVERYTHING LIKE THAT BUT YOU CAN'T BE SAYING THAT ABOUT THA PITTSBURGH PENKWINS.  YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW.
On Clowe - RYANE CLOWE, HERE, HE'S A GOOD ST. JOHN'S BOY FROM NEWFOUNDLAND, WHICH IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS ONTARIO, HE'S GOTTA BE SMARTA THAN THAT!  BUT HEY, THE L.A. KINGS SHOULDA TRIED TA FIGHT HIM!  THAT'LL SHOW HIM.  I HOPE THEY FIGHT HIM TODAY.

Biggest stories heading into the playoffs



"Alexander, how does it feel to replace Carrie Underwood as the face of the Predators?"

 Well, it's been another entertaining season of NHL hockey (except in New Jersey, since by definition, hockey in New Jersey has to be boring.  Even if that means Ilya Kovalchuk and Zach Parise are classified as boring players.), which means the playoffs are just around the corner for the top eight teams from each conference.  We've seen a lot of interesting things this season, so here's a look at the top stories going into the playoffs.


Ottawa doesn't suck - Despite every single 'hockey expert,' plus Damien Cox, predicting the Senators to finish dead last in the Eastern Conference this season, they're a playoff team and might even finish as high as 2nd in the conference.  Yet management claims that their success this season has nothing to do with the fact that they threatened to trade the team's worst player to Edmonton at the end of the season.  Weird.


Radulov's back - After completing his fourth straight season in Russia's KHL, Alexander Radulov decided it was time to return to the NHL and the Nashville Predators.  This fulfills Caps' general manager George McPhee's bold prediction that 'Alexander will definitely be ready for the playoffs by the end of March.'


Florida Panthers are back in the playoffs - They haven't officially clinched a playoff berth yet, but barring a historic collapse, the Panthers will be a part of the Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time in...umm, a very long time.  It's been so long, in fact, that Sean Avery hadn't pissed off anyone in the NHL yet.


Sharks on the playoff bubble - Since the lockout, hockey fans can be assured of two things: the Toronto Maple Leafs will miss the playoffs and the San Jose Sharks will collapse in the playoffs.  This season, the latter won't happen if the Sharks actually miss the playoffs.  This year's Sharks are so bad, in fact, that Martin Havlat is averaging fewer points per game than during his Minnesota days.  Think about that.

Some St. Patrick's Day Traditions Across the NHL

Maybe fans will start throwing four leaf clovers onto the ice.  You know, there's four leafs, ugh, leaves and all...

Like many of us non-NHL players, several NHL players have various traditions that they follow every time St. Patrik (or Patrick)'s Day comes around.  I've put together a list of some of the traditions that people around the NHL.


Patrick Kane - Gets drunk.


Tim Thomas - Goes with a group of his friends to someone's house to party.  I can't swear by this, but I don't think it's a white house.


Adam Larsson - Has a tradition of insisting to bartenders that I.D.'s are a ridiculous way to proof people's age.


Boston Bruins - Have "Shipping up to Boston" playing constantly at TD Garden, which annoys no one, says Zdeno Chara, who's guarding the music room.


Patrick Kane - Still drunk.


Dustin Byfuglien - Upon drinking his fifth or sixth beer, he makes the mature decision not to drive drunk.  Instead, he often takes his boat out, which doesn't always end well for him.


Colorado Avalanche - Like most NHL teams, the Avs sell green t-shirts with their players names on the back and an added O', such as O'O'Brien, O'O'Byrne and O'O'Reilly.

Players who could impact the NHL playoff race

"I start to play good when we fire our coach, hahahaha!!! ... we fired Bruce Who-dreau???"

As the NHL regular season winds down into its final quarter, the playoff race is tight in both conferences, despite Eastern Conference teams seemingly trying everything they can to miss the playoffs.  As you might expect, teams are banking on certain players to have a significant impact on the playoff race, so I figured I'd mention a few of them.


Sidney Crosby - Most times, teams are thrilled when players can have a positive impact on their own team, yet every time Sidney Crosby's name is mentioned in NHL locker rooms recently, goalies seem to freeze and pass out.  Except for Maple Leafs goaltenders, since they've already headed for the showers by the second period.


Ilya Bryzgalov - Ilya Bryzgalov seems to have saved his season, and there's a good reason why.  He's spent all season trying to find the exact spot in the universe where his former team, the Phoenix Coyotes will be playing next season, after finding no results for "2012-13 Coyotes season tickets."


Alexander Radulov - Due to a bizarre set of circumstances, Radulov might actually come to the NHL this season and play with the Preds in the playoffs.  If he gets the Preds past the first round, he'd be the first russian hockey player named "Alexander" to succeed in the NHL playoffs.

Which bubble teams will make the playoffs?

"IF YA DON'T HAVE ANY ONTARIO PLAYERS, YA CAN'T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS!
HOW CAN YA MAKE THE PLAYOFFS IF YA DON'T HAVE ANY ONTARIO PLAYERS?"

The playoffs begin in just over a month, and there's still plenty of teams that have a chance, or think they have a chance, to be a part of it this season.  As a hockey blogger, I feel that it is my duty to provide you with a carefully written and intelligent analysis of who I think will miss the playoffs and won't will miss them.  Naturally, I decided not to do that.  Instead, here's a hopefully more entertaining look at the "bubble" teams.


Winnipeg Jets

Why they can make the playoffs: Their fans would give up breathing if it meant seeing their team in the playoffs.
Why they can't make the playoffs: According to Pierre McGuire, they have many of the most underrated players in the league.  If Pierre McGuire says you're underrated, you must suck.  A lot.
Verdict: They could, and if they do, I hope the architects who built MTS Centre don't let the roof blow off.


Florida Panthers

Why they can make the playoffs: Lots of people like to take in games at BankAtlantic Center, such as Rangers, Bruins, Caps, Habs and Leafs fans.
Why they can't make the playoffs: If their top line can't carry them offensively, Jose Theodore becomes their biggest offensive threat.
Verdict: Then again, Jose Theodore has scored a goal before...


Washington Capitals

Why they can make the playoffs: Despite the injury to Nicklas Backstrom, they still have talent in Alex Ovechkin, Alex Semin and Mike Green.
Why they can't make the playoffs: Well, this isn't 2008, so Alex, Alex and Green are pretty useless.
Verdict: Perhaps this is all a plan, since finishing first in the Conference so many times didn't work out for Washington.


Tampa Bay Lightning

Why they can make the playoffs: Steven Stamkos can outscore your favorite team combined.
Why they can't make the playoffs: Mike Smith left Tampa Bay for a more up-and-coming hockey market.
Verdict: They have four active players on their roster from Ontario.  How could they not make the playoffs?

Things that happen every 4 years

Pictured: 2 NHL toddlers.  Simon Gagne turns 8 today and Cam Ward turns 7.

It's leap day.  February 29th.  The day that comes every 4 years.  Since this day only happens every 4 years, I thought it would be appropriate to look at some other events that only occur every 4 years.  This was one of the simpler blogs posts I've written.  Take a look.

• Bob McKenzie screws up a trade on Twitter.
   
• Scott Gomez scores a goal...sometimes two.
   
• A Flyers goaltender posts a shutout.
   
• Henrik Lundqvist allows a goal.
   
• Peter Forsberg un-retires.
   
• The Devils go through 4 head coaches.
   
• Dany Heatley gets traded.  Twice.
   
• Leafs fans call for Ron Wilson's firing, two weeks after petitioning to the NHL for his Adam Trophy nomination.
   
• The Islanders win a playoff series. 

Behind the scenes of Rick Nash trade negotiations

As you probably know by now, the Columbus Blue Jackets are trying to trade all of their good players.  Yes, Rick Nash is on the trade block.  Between the Rangers, Sharks, Maple Leafs and Kings, there's been plenty of speculation as to where Rick Nash will end up.  Of course, no matter hard General Managers try to hide these matters from the public, bloggers like me always find a way to find out what really is[n't] happening.  Take a look.


February 23rd, 3:47 PM: Kings GM Dean Lombardi calls Blue Jackets GM Scott Howson.

Lombardi: Mr. Howson, I'd like to acquire Rick Nash.

Howson: Rick...who?

Lombardi: Nash.  He's your team's captain.

Howson: Oh, yeah, sorry, I've been meaning to watch a Jackets game this season.  It just hasn't happened yet.

Lombardi: Every now and then, I do, but only if I actually want to watch lots of goals scored.

Howson: Hey, listen, the phone's ringing.  It's Brian Burke.

Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke calls Howson.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of February 20th, 2012

Today's President's Day and it's only fitting that the team most likely to win the President's Trophy tops my list of NHL teams this week.  I mean, you can't really argue with Detroit.  Ever.


1. Detroit Red Wings - The Wings reportedly thought about losing at home, but they won't until Nicklas Lidstrom retires.  Whoa boy...

2. Vancouver Canucks - They were recently voted the most overrated team by the league's players, including Roberto Luongo.

3. New York Rangers - Ranger fans were chanting "we don't want you!" at Rick Nash last night.  It's okay, they're still learning what it's like to win.

4. Nashville Predators - Something that literally just occured to me: if Rick Nash went to the Preds, would they name the city after him?  Nash-ville?

5. New Jersey Devils - Something that must be considered: is Martin Brodeur just as cool of an old guy as Lidstrom and Selanne?

6. St. Louis Blues - They won a game via shutout recently allowing just 13 shots on goal.  Then again, that's a lot of shots for Minnesota in one game.

7. Pittsburgh Penguins - Evgeni Malkin is not one of the three stars of the week.  It's panic time in Pittsburgh.

8. Boston Bruins - They got shut out by Niklas Backstrom yesterday, but that's okay because they won't run into any other good goalies in the playoffs.

Ex-Devils who returned to New Jersey

"Hey, remember when we played in New Jersey? Yeah, me neither."

As many players have moved on from New Jersey in their careers, Devils fans never forget them.  That's why, when the players return to New Jersey, we don't forget what they did and we usually give them some kind of acknowledgement.  Sometimes we cheer, sometimes we boo, and other times we didn't care enough about the guy to give a crap.  On Thursday, Jamie Langenbrunner and Jason Arnott (if he's healthy) will return to New Jersey.  Let's take a look at past Devils and how they were treated (or should have been treated) when they returned to New Jersey.


Brian Gionta - Gio signed a free agent contract with Montreal, and when he came back to New Jersey for the first time, Devils fans tried to cheer him when he was on the ice, but nobody could find him.

Scott Gomez - Gomer committed the unthinkable crime: he left New Jersey to sign a free agent contract with the rival Rangers.  Devils fans booed him mercilessly and have successfully laid the Curse of the Devils on him.  He no longer possesses the ability to score goals.  Job well done, Devils fans.

John Madden - When Madden returned to New Jersey with Minnesota, Devils fans wanted to give him an ovation, but the glare of his Stanley Cup ring from Chicago blinded many fans.

Brendan Shanahan - Shanahan's return to New Jersey was with St. Louis in 1991.  Devils fans cheered him and thanked him, because he became the franchise's MVP...for leaving.

Tom Kurvers - Kurvers was forever cheered and thanked, similarly to how Shanahan was honored, when he returned to New Jersey.

Scott Clemmensen - Clemmer saved the Devils' season in 2008-09 when Martin Brodeur went down, but when he returned with the Panthers, his goals against average was about 5.00, so we laughed.  And then cheered.  Then we laughed again.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of February 6th, 2012

This week's power rankings are a little late to come out.  First of all, the NFL team which I am devoted to happened to win the Superbowl last night and I doubt anyone would have read a hockey post last night anyway.  So, now that another football season is behind us, it's time for the stretch run this NHL season.  Here's a look at my power rankings for a week, with some very careful and insightful analysis.


1. Detroit Red Wings - The Wings are trying to pretend that Montreal doesn't exist...

2. Nashville Predators - It's early on, but Pekka Rinne is proving the notion that all rich goalies are terrible this season.

3. New York Rangers - The NHL should let the Rangers have two timeouts per game under the condition that John Tortorella can throw two tantrums per game.

4. St. Louis Blues - Ken Hitchcock reportedly had his players bag skate today after they attempted an aggressive forecheck in practice.

5. Vancouver Canucks - Neither Sedin practiced this morning.  Clearly, they're being traded tonight.

6. Boston Bruins - They're 33-12-2 against teams not from Raleigh, North Carolina.

7. Pittsburgh Penguins - Evgeni Malkin is all well and good, but the Penguins could really use a second line center...

8. San Jose Sharks - The Sharks are hoping that Couture being picked last in the All-Star draft will fuel an epic season from him next year as Kessel has this year.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of January 16th, 2012

Well, it's that time of week again.  It's time to randomly shuffle all 30 teams into an order that seems logical in some ways and illogical in other ways.  I like to believe that this isn't random and that it's my DGA NHL Power Rankings.  For last week's rankings, click here.


1. Boston Bruins (--) - Their recent loss to the Hurricanes hurts their chances at scoring double the amount of goals as their opponent this season.  Another 9-0 win this week would get them back on track, though.

2. New York Rangers (--) - Henrik Lundqvist's ability to stop everything makes you wonder if someday, he can stop world poverty and hunger.

3. St. Louis Blues (+2) - Jaroslav Halak's recent shutout of his former team, the Montreal Canadiens, brought memories of his playoff run in Montreal and being a backup goal--...well, I guess some things don't change.

4. Vancouver Canucks (-1) - Only Roberto Luongo could have a puck hit him, roll down every piece of goalie equipment on him and steer itself into the net...

5. Detroit Red Wings (-1) - Jimmy Howard recently won his 100th career game, which isn't that much if you compare him to Chris Osgood, but it does make him the second-best American-born goalkeeper with the last name "Howard" right now.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (+1) - Jonathan Toews recently blinked, but it was only because he saw Patrick Kane only had 10 goals this season and thought he misread something.

7. San Jose Sharks (-1) - Patrick Marleau already has 5 game-winning goals this season, which is kind of a shot to the gut of Jeremy Roenick.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of January 8th, 2012

After a two-week absence, DGA's NHL Power Rankings returns.  A lot has happened since the last edition of power rankings, so I'll start over without considering where teams were before the little break.  Take a look.


1. Boston Bruins - The Bruins are to the rest of the league as Zdeno Chara's height is to every other Bruin.

2. New York Rangers - Since John Tortorella is obsessed with conspiracies recently, maybe it's time to remind everyone how the Rangers cleared cap space for Brad Richards (hint: he's an overpaid defenseman currently in the AHL).

3. Vancouver Canucks - Cory Schneider gets the win in Boston?  Imagine what could have been last June...

4. Detroit Red Wings - Detroit rallied in Toronto on Saturday, but then realized they were on the road.  So they lost.

5. St. Louis Blues - Brian Elliott might be the best goaltender in hockey right now, but he has no chance to be an All-Star, because he is no longer an Ottawa Senator.

6. San Jose Sharks - The Sharks have been rather quiet lately.  Maybe they're trying to draw less attention in the regular season to minimize the impact of their inevitable playoff collapse.

7. Chicago Blackhawks - Pierre McGuire said that Brent Seabrook is the Hawks' versions of Nick Kronwall, although Sea-brook'ed doesn't sound as good as Kron-wall'ed...

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 4th, 2011

By my count, Week 8 of the 2011-12 NHL season is in the books.  Unfortunately, Sidney Crosby did not make another return to the lineup this week.  Instead he stayed in the lineup.  David Perron and Ryan Miller returned to the lineup, though.

1. Boston Bruins (--) - I wonder if Zdeno Chara made Phil Kessel look as helpless as he did in Toronto Saturday back when they were teammates in practice.

2. Detroit Red Wings (--) - While the Wings are washed up, too old, too slow and have too many big contracts, they're also busy being the hottest team in the NHL.

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - When healthy, Pittsburgh's "Big 3" is an unbelievably dynamic trio.  Who knew?

4. New York Rangers (+3) - After many years of failures after signing big ticket free agents, perhaps it's time to realize that Glen Sather got it right with Brad Richards...at least for now.

5. Minnesota Wild (-1) - After backup goaltender Niklas Backstrom was lifted from the game against New Jersey due to injury, Josh Harding shined to steer the Wild to victory.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (--) - To those who may have forgotten, the Blackhawks have Marian Hossa, and he's ridiculously good.

7. Philadelphia Flyers (+2) - The fact that Scott Hartnell plays on one of the best lines in hockey is just weird, but it's true.

8. Florida Panthers (+2) - No Panthers forward even has half of the points as Versteeg, Fleischmann and Weiss do each.

9. San Jose Sharks (-4) - The Sharks have been in three shootouts this season: all wins against Eastern Conference teams.

10. St. Louis Blues (+3) - David Perron scored in his first game back in the NHL after 97 games missed from a concussion.  Didn't someone else pull a similar feat recently?

11. Toronto Maple Leafs (-3) - I wonder if James Reimer will be able to beat the Bruins.  I guess we'll find out in March.

12. Dallas Stars (+5) - The Stars are thankful that Matt Moulson doesn't still play in the Western Conference.

13. Los Angeles Kings (+2) - Dustin Penner is heating up again.  I'm pretty sure he had a few shots on goal this past week.

14. Phoenix Coyotes (-3) - Ilya Bryzgalov left Phoenox thinking "ha, the Coyotes miss me."  The thing is, though, they don't.

15. Vancouver Canucks (-3) - Roberto Luongo came in to relieve Cory Schneider against Nashville.  He eventually collapsed and the Canucks lost late, so order is still restored in the world.

16. Buffalo Sabres (-2) - Terry Pegula will definitely look to acquire a 'tough guy' to be Ryan Miller's personal bodyguard.

17. Washington Capitals (+1) - Dale Hunter was very excited to learn that he'd be coaching such elite players like Jason Chimera in Washington.

18. Nashville Predators (-2) - In their latest attempt to imitate the Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins, the Preds wear gold jerseys and have their players run over Ryan Miller.

19. Montreal Canadiens (+2) - There is something ironic about Max Pacioretty getting suspended for a nasty hit after his experiences from last season.

20. Winnipeg Jets (+3) - Don Cherry predicted the Jets would miss the playoffs.  Winnipeg is determined to prove him wrong just to make him admit he's wrong about something.

21. Colorado Avalanche (+4) - The Avs spent their week learning how to score goals at home, and well, it worked.

22. Ottawa Senators (--) - Isn't it weird that Milan Michalek already has 16 goals, but he's third on his team in points?

23. Edmonton Oilers (+1) - Randy Jones is the latest Oiler to do his Wayne Gretzky impression for a game.

24. Tampa Bay Lightning (-4) - Brad Richards and John Tortorella returned to Tampa Bay this past week.  The team is about as good as after the two of them left.

25. New Jersey Devils (-6) - Martin Brodeur spent his week making sure nobody will ever catch his most losses record.

26. Calgary Flames (--) - Jarome Iginla insists that he wants to win in Calgary.  I guess we'll see if he'll still be playing in 15 years, then.

27. New York Islanders (+1) - Matt Moulson decided he's sick of his team not scoring, so he went a bit insane in Dallas.

28. Carolina Hurricanes (-1) - If Paul Maurice was leaving a note for John MacLean instead of Kirk Muller, you'd think if probably would have read "I already got them a bad record, so you can't really screw up much worse."

29. Anaheim Ducks (--) - After completing an anonymous poll following their first game under Bruce Boudreau, Anaheim players are in agreement that Boudreau is "f$%&ing" awesome.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (--) - Nail Yakupov reportedly owns a blue jacket...not that there's any signifiance to that...

NHL Power Rankings - Week of November 27th, 2011

Here we go: Week 7 of the 2011-12 season and DGA's Week 7 NHL Power Rankings.  Absolutely nothing worthy of discussion happened this week, so let's start.

1. Boston Bruins (+8) - If Tyler Seguin wins the Selke Trophy and Phil Kessel wins the Art Ross, Rocket Richard and Hart Trophy, does that mean the Bruins won the trade by Claude Julien's logic?

2. Detroit Red Wings (+4) - Datsyuk and Zetterberg are back to being their superhuman, partially robotic selves again, thus restoring normalcy to the world.

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - So when does Crosby come back?

4. Minnesota Wild (-3) - They recently signed a 51-year old fan to an amateur contract as an emergency goalie, which is something a franchise such as Philadelphia or the NY Islanders would do.

5. San Jose Sharks (-3) - "The Sharks really miss Dany Heatley." - nobody.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (-2) - "Chelsea Dagger" is the most played song in the city of Chicago.*

*Not confirmed.
7. New York Rangers (--) - Henrik Lundqvist's 37th career shutout (against the Flyers this past Friday) moves him within 79 of Martin Brodeur's shutout record.

8. Toronto Maple Leafs (-3) - Considering that the Leafs sustain more injuries in a week than a dummy at a military target practice, Brian Burke hasn't overreacted and started trading for every player on the market.

9. Philadelphia Flyers (-1) - Paul Holmgren watched as the Wild signed a fan as the emergency goalie and may have gotten some ideas from that.  Maybe that's why the Flyers are holding a goaltending tryout session this week which is open to the public.

10. Florida Panthers (+7) - Jason Garrison has twice as many goals as assists...and he's a defenseman.  Also interesting: his 8 goals in 23 games this season are more than his goal total from his entire 113 previous games combined.

11. Phoenix Coyotes (+4) - The Coyotes will be taking the rejects from the Flyers goalie tryouts and turning them into Vezina candidates.

12. Vancouver Canucks (+6) - Roberto Luongo managed to get his goals against average under 3.00 this week.

13. St. Louis Blues (+6) - Ken Hitchcock has revitalized the Blues thanks to one word: defense.

14. Buffalo Sabres (-4) - Lindy Ruff's Milan Lucic punching bag really fires up the team before every game.

15. Los Angeles Kings (-3) - Perhaps the Kings acquired the wrong Richards last summer.

16. Nashville Predators (-5) - Fact: Pekka Rinne has more assists than Jerred Smithson this season.

17. Dallas Stars (-3) - Well, losing your starting goalie isn't the end of the world.  Look at the Buffalo S...okay never mind.

18. Washington Capitals (-5) - Don't worry, Bruce, Alex Ovechkin and Semin don't hate you enough to torch your car...yet.

19. New Jersey Devils (-3) - The NHL's newest anti-Devils strategy is to wipe out any game-tying goal with under 5 seconds remaining in the third period.

20. Tampa Bay Lightning (--) - Upon asking about acquiring Jonathan Bernier, Steve Yzerman laughed hysterically when Deam Lombardi asked for Victor Hedman, but then realized Lombardi was serious.

21. Montreal Canadiens (+3) - Andrei Markov is almost ready to return to the Habs' lineup, which means they'll have a quality defensemen for about two weeks, before Markov inevitably crashes into the boards and injures himself again.

22. Ottawa Senators (--) - As it turns out, Paul MacLean doesn't suck as much as the last NHL head coach with his last name did.

23. Winnipeg Jets (+2) - Dustin Byfuglien is the best defensemen in the league who never learned to skate backwards.

24. Edmonton Oilers (-3) - Now that Taylor Hall is injured, Steve Tambellini plans to have Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Jordan Eberle scratched in order to restore his annual 1st Overall Draft Pick Party in June.

25. Colorado Avalanche (-2) - That Semyon Varlamov trade probably wasn't the best goaltender acquisition in Avs' history...

26. Calgary Flames (--) - Jarome Iginla is definitely getting traded this year, just as he was last year and just as Brett Favre definitely retired four years ago.

27. Carolina Hurricanes (+1) - Tomas Kaberle is on the trade block...again.  He's bound to draw at least an 8th round pick in return...

28. New York Islanders (+1) - They finally got their first road win of the season, thanks to Michael Grabner's 700 breakaways in two games against the Devils this week.

29. Anaheim Ducks (-2) - Perhaps we have a new Fail for Nail favorite destination?

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (--) - It was tempting to move the Jackets out of 30th this week.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of November 20th, 2011

It's that time of week again!  It's time for NHL Power Rankings for Week 6 of the 2011-12 season.  There's another #1 this week, but unfortunately, not a new #30.


1. Minnesota Wild (+8) - The Wild are among the worst teams in the NHL offensively.  In other news, the sun is still bright and Zdeno Chara is really tall.

2. San Jose Sharks (+5) - Antti Niemi is determined to win another Stanley Cup this season, contrary to the rest of his team, since every time Niemi talks about the Stanley Cup, he teammates keep asking "who's Stanley?"

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (-2) - There is absolutely nothing new to report from Penguins camp this week.  I think...

4. Chicago Blackhawks (-3) - The only thing red hot about the Blackhawks right now is Joel Quenneville's temper.

5. Toronto Maple Leafs (+3) - Phil Kessel's superhuman act this season has forced the rest of the Leafs to be mediocre in order to balance things out for a while.

6. Detroit Red Wings (--) - It was nice of Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk to return to Detroit after an extended summer break.

7. New York Rangers (-2) - Martin Biron is known as an excellent backup goalie, but you'd never know it if Saturday's Rangers/Habs game was your first ever hockey game.

8. Philadelphia Flyers (+2) - I've decided to exclude all games against the Winnipeg Jets when considering the Flyers' power ranking position.  At least they won't have to deal with them in the playoffs.

9. Boston Bruins (+7) - Angered by their 2-1 shootout win over Columbus, they decided to destroy their next awful opponent, the Islanders, at home, although some people claim it wasn't a Bruins home game...

10. Buffalo Sabres (+2) - Tyler Myers spent his day off as a healthy scratch kissing up to Brendan Shanahan to avoid being Shana-banned after any apparent head-shots.

11. Nashville Predators (+6) - Following an embarassing overtime loss to Columbus at home, Shea Weber and Ryan Suter are duking it out to see who gets to leave Nashville next off-season.

12. Los Angeles Kings (-1) - Jonathan Quick hasn't had a shutout in quite some time, which begs the question: is the world ending?

13. Washington Capitals (-10) - Caps' second line left wing Alex Ovechkin has 14 points in 18 games, which is good for a second line winger, but I'm sure the coaches are concerned about his -6 plus-minus rating.

14. Dallas Stars (-10) - If the NHL season was based entirely off of the first month of the season, the Dallas Stars would be perennial Stanley Cup contenders.

15. Phoenix Coyotes (--) - Steve Mason has reportedly been in contact with the Coyotes lately, because he heard that Phoenix is hallowed ground for an NHL goaltender.

16. New Jersey Devils (+3) - David Clarkson's shooting percentage is double that of one year ago and he has more goals than Zach Parise.  It's the craziness of the NHL, folks.

17. Florida Panthers (+3) - The Panthers have turned average top-6 forwards into star players this season, rather than their tradition of turning top-6 forwards into washed up scrubs.

18. Vancouver Canucks (-5) - Pretty much every Canucks skater has a negative plus-minus rating, and Roberto Luongo is determined not to change that.

19. St. Louis Blues (+3) - The Blues are at the bottom of the league offensively and the top defensively.  Why else would Ken Hitchcock agree to coach them?

20. Tampa Bay Lightning (-2) - Since the Flyers game, teams have actually tried to beat the 1-3-1, and unfortunately for the Lightning, they have been quite successful in doing so.

21. Edmonton Oilers (--) - If Sam Rosen was the Oilers' announcer, he'd have said "And this one will last a lifetime" after beating the Blackhawks, 9-2 the other night.

22. Ottawa Senators (+1) - I don't know why everyone is so high on Milan Michalek this season.  He's not even the best forward that plays in the province of Ontario...

23. Colorado Avalanche (-9) - Avs "phenom" defenseman Erik Johnson is a -12 this season. 

24. Montreal Canadiens (+1) - Scott Gomez started to get going offensively this past Saturday, courtesy of Martin Biron.

25. Winnipeg Jets (+3) - Many people say that every Jets home game feels like a playoff game, which would explain why they beat Washington the Philadelphia so convincingly.

26. Calgary Flames (-2) - The Flames are on pace to have approximately zero 60-point scorers this season, yet people are still baffled and confused as to why this is a terrible hockey team.

27. Anaheim Ducks (-1) - When all else fails, it's time to start the overhaul in Anaheim.  Luckily, they can build around guys like Teemu Selanne.

28. Carolina Hurricanes (-1) - Eric Staal, Joni Pitkanen, Tomas Kaberle...this would have been a good team in 2006.  Oh wait, Carolina was a good team in 2006.

29. New York Islanders (--) - CBC and Versus will be nationally televising the return of Kyle Okposo to the Islanders lineup and Anders Nilsson's first NHL start tonight.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (--) - Steve Mason's apparent injury only hurts helps the Jackets.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of November 13th, 2011

It's time for Week 5 of the DGA NHL Power Rankings.  There's another new #1 this week, but the #2 team remains second for the third straight week.  The Blue Jackets also climb back up to 30th.  Check it out!

1. Chicago Blackhawks (+2) - The Blackhawks mock every franchise that's ever wasted a dollar over the minimum for a franchise goaltender.

2. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - Sidney Crosby could play in Pittsburgh's next game.  Or the game after.  Or the game after that.  Or the next time the Penguins get into another Winter Classic...so likely next year.

3. Washington Capitals (+1) - Alexander Semin really does care, he's just much better at caring from the bench, according to Bruce Boudreau.

4. Dallas Stars (-3) - They will be honoring Joe Nieuwendyk and Ed Belfour's induction into the Hall of Fame by forcing people to sit in the stands so it looks like people in Dallas care.

5. New York Rangers (+12) - The Rangers have the fewest regulation losses in the league.  John Tortorella now feels useless, since he has nothing to scream to the media about.

6. Detroit Red Wings (+9) - Ken Holland realized no Red Wings are going into the Hall of Fame this year, so he may force Nicklas Lidstrom to retire soon.

7. San Jose Sharks (-1) - Not that they need a goalie, but I heard Evgeni Nabokov is on the trade market...

8. Toronto Maple Leafs (-3) - Phil Kessel is only averaging a point per game in November, compared to the 50 points per game he seemed to average in October.

9. Minnesota Wild (+5) - Darroll Powe has more goals than Mikko Koivu this season.  That's a bit of a problem for the Wild.

10. Philadelphia Flyers (+2) - They seem to have their goalie situation resolved...for the week.  Unfortunately, their strategy involves doing absolutely nothing on the ice.

11. Los Angeles Kings (-4) - How could a guy (Jonathan Quick) who has a 1.96 goals against average and  .933 save percentage only win half of his 14 starts?

12. Buffalo Sabres (-2) - When a player runs over your franchise goalie and gives him a concussion, is it classy or stupid to not retaliate?

13. Vancouver Canucks (+3) - Alex Burrows vows to defend Roberto Luongo if he ever gets run over (by someone other than his own coach) by biting them.

14. Colorado Avalanche (-5) - The Avs are reportedly interested in bringing some guy named Roy back between the pipes to help the team.

15. Phoenix Coyotes (+5) - If Wayne Gretzky still coached the Coyotes, Mike Smith's goal against average would probably be over 3.00, which ironically was about average for goalies during Gretzky's playing days.

16. Boston Bruins (+7) - While the knock-the-other-team's-goalie-out method is effective, they completely stole the concept from their division rivals from Quebec.

17. Nashville Predators (-6) - Barry Trotz and David Poile have been with the Predators for all 1,000 games in the franchise's history.  Interestingly enough, both claim they remember every single goal in the franchise's history.  Then again, we can all count to 10...

18. Tampa Bay Lightning (-5) - Tampa Bay had a very successful week, in the sense that annoying the hell out of Philadelphia is success.


19. New Jersey Devils (+2) - The Devils have perfected their formula for winning on the road this season: fall behind 2-0, win game in the shootout.

20. Florida Panthers (-1) - Kris Versteeg notched a hat trick in the Panthers' recent win in Winnipeg.  Yes, the Panthers are supposedly aware that a hat trick implies scoring three goals...

21. Edmonton Oilers (-13) - Nikolai Khabibulin's goals against average took a blow with his loss to his former team, the Blackhawks, but it's still half of what it has been with Edmonton the past two seasons.

22. St. Louis Blues (--) - Brian Elliott continues to be the best former Ottawa Senators goalie in the NHL this season, although that isn't particularly difficult to be.

23. Ottawa Senators (-5) - The Sens did drop 5 spots in the power rankings this week, but nobody thought the Sens would actually be able to fall at all when the season began...considering they started 30th in most people's rankings.

24. Calgary Flames (--) - The Flames executed their let's-get-a-4-goal-lead-and-try-to-blow-it strategy perfectly in Colorado, except they hung on to win.

25. Montreal Canadiens (+3) - Brian Gionta thanks Milan Lucic for taking the people-who-have-injured-goalies spotlight off him this week.

26. Anaheim Ducks (-1) - Teemu Selanne was Anaheim's only player who remembered that the season actually started already.  He's also the oldest.  Age doesn't matter...

27. Carolina Hurricanes (-1) - I thought Tomas Kaberle retired at about the mid-season point of last season...

28. Winnipeg Jets (+1) - In their most recent episode of "How to Humiliate Our Fans," the Jets lost to the Columbus Blue Jackets.

29. New York Islanders (-1) - Evgeni Nabokov wants out of Long Island...again, meaning Rick DiPietro might actually have to stay healthy and play some games for the Islanders.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (+30 - here's why in case you missed last week's post) - They're not tanking, they're just conveniently trading all of their NHL quality players away.

*Note: This is the 100th post in DGA history.  Thanks for being along for the ride.  I'm looking forward to the next 100!

Teams and players that need to bounce back in 2011-12

Ilya Kovalchuk's stick...probably about to snap in half.

The 2010-11 NHL season was a dream season for the Boston Bruins, but for 29 other teams, it failed to produce a championship season.  Of course, that happens every year, however, some teams (and players) are due for a big bounce-back season in 2011-12.

Martin Havlat - He hasn't even come close to his 77 points in 2008-09 since he left Chicago, but he leaves the offensively inept Minnesota Wild in favor of the San Jose Sharks.  This assures Havlat that his linemates will accumulate more points than the league's average goaltender.

Jamie Langenbrunner - He saw his point total nearly slice in half from a season prior between the Devils and Stars, and he probably won't rebound this season either.  Luckily, he'll be teammates with Jason Arnott again, and together, they can sing the Blues...

Ottawa Senators - Last year could not have gone much worse for the Sens, but they traded some of their older players away to build draft picks (and to satisfy country music stars).  They also signed Zenon Konopka to center their second line, which is nice, because last year Konopka put up 307......oh wait those are penalty minutes, not points...

Ilya Kovalchuk - Like many Devils, he didn't exactly thrive under John MacLean, but Kovalchuk will look to bounce back from his worst offensive season since 2002.  He's also under a lot of pressure from fans and media, but if he struggles again in 2011-12, he might not be able to get a big contract when his current one is up.

Edmonton Oilers - Edmonton finished last season true to form: last place and another first overall draft pick.  Many people believe that the Oilers will be a much better team, though, which has GM Steve Tambellini wondering if he should cancel the party he planned for late June 2012.

Florida Panthers - Many people think the Panthers went on their free agent spree to put a better team on the ice, when in fact, they signed those people to sit in the stands so it looks like people go to games there.

Scott Gomez - He had his worst season ever (by far) last year in Montreal, and it has people wondering if he'll ever live up to the huge contract he signed with the Rangers in 2007.  Well, since he probably won't, let's hope the hometown fans will be very forgiving of his struggles in Montreal.  They would never, say, throw waffles at him...

Alexander Ovechkin - For the first time in his career, he failed to score at least 40 goals and 90 points last season, proving that even the great Alex Ovechkin can be a victim of defensive hockey.  Even so, he managed to score 19 more points than Sidney Crosby.

Marian Gaborik - Scoring just 22 goals a season ago, he'll be looking for a bounce back season, and he'll have some help.  Having Brad Richards center him should help, until he inevitably has a season-ending injury after he gets checked by Nathan Gerbe.

Teemu Selanne - Last season, he put up just four more points than he did goals during his rookie season with the now-reinstated Winnipeg Jets in 1992-93.  He needs to make his decision about his playing future soon, because Brett Favre is officially retired (for now) and ESPN has no time available for a live special for him.  ESPN reportedly has a poker commitment every night until the hockey season starts.

Winnipeg Jets - Last time they existed, they finished the season with 78 points, and their leading scorer (Keith Tkachuk) has since retired.  Luckily, Dustin Byfuglien added a few extra pounds during the off-season, making him almost big enough to play on the Jets' offensive line.  Oops, wrong sport...

Mike Richards - His leadership was questioned at times last season, but he has a fresh new start as the face of the Kings.  Unfortunately, he wasn't even LA's most desired hockey player with the last name "Richards" during the 2011 off-season.