Showing posts with label Canadiens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Canadiens. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Remembering the 2011-12 regular season

The next GM of the Montreal Canadiens...very hard at work.


For 14 of the NHL's 30 teams, this is the final week of their season.  After this week, they'll all go
their separate ways for the summer.  In other words, they'll all go to various golf courses until September, apparently.  So let's take a look at the teams that will not be taking part in the playoffs, and remember each of their seasons.


Montreal Canadiens - This season has been "échec" in Montreal, or as Randy Cunneyworth likes to say: failure.  But hey, at least they got their money's worth out of Scott Gomez this season!


New York Islanders - The Long Island rebuild continues.  Or maybe it hasn't started yet, since Nassau Coliseum is unfortunately still standing.  With their young talent, they should be good in the near future.  Maybe...


Columbus Blue Jackets - This season was the beginning and end of Jeff Carter's career in Columbus.  What's quite unfortunate is that if Rick Nash gets traded, the Jackets might have to force Steve Mason into the All-Star Game in their own building next season.


Tampa Bay Lightning - Guy Boucher gave up on the 1-3-1 midway through the season, but those five minutes of stalemate in the Flyers game easily cost Steven Stamkos two or three goals.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Top 10 Video Special - Devils hat tricks since the lockout

On Friday, Zach Parise scored his second career NHL hat trick as the Devils slammed the Capitals, 5-0.  By my count, that's the 9th hat trick by a Devil since the 2004-05 lockout, which is one short of the necessary 10 for a DGA Top 10 Video Special, so I chose not to do one.


...


Just kidding.  Actually, I cheated.  Thanks to Gordie Howe, there's another kind of hat trick: the Gordie Howe hat trick.  I used the two Gordie Howe hat tricks this season and added the other 9 Devils hat tricks since the lockout (which is actually 11 videos), and here we go: the 17th Top 10 Video Special in the series.  Enjoy (also enjoy my attempts at awful titles for some of the hat tricks).


#10: Henrique and Kovy score, assist and scrap

On January 10th, 2012, the Devils played a miserable game in Calgary.  They lost 6-3, but at least Adam Henrique had a coming out party...of sorts.



On February 4th, 2012, Ilya Kovalchuk duplicated the feat, except Kovy's fight was much more dramatic.




#9: Maddog Rags on New York

This is the lone playoff hat trick of the countdown.  It comes against the New York Rangers, as the Devils went on to sweep the Rangers and capped off their 15-game winning streak.






#8: Gio's lone trick caps crazy game with the Leafs

Unfortunately, video footage of Brian Gionta's third goal of the hat trick exists, but he made it count, as he tied the game at 6.  The Devils won, 7-6 in overtime.




#7: Pando scores three...in one game!

Jay Pandolfo scores the first hat trick in Prudential Center history.  It's his only career hat trick and it came in a 6-1 win over Tampa Bay.  It came on Halloween, 2007.


Friday, February 10, 2012

What does it take to have a player's number retired?


Mats Sundin played for 3 Canadian NHL teams throughout the '90s and 2000s.  No wonder he never won a Cup.

Tomorrow night, the Toronto Maple Leafs will do something that they rarely do (no, not win the Stanley Cup...).  They will retire Mats Sundin's #13.  He'll join Ace Bailey and Bill Barilko as the only Maple Leafs to ever have their numbers retired by the club.  That got me wondering, what does it take to have a player's number retired?  Obviously, each team has a slightly different requirement to do the honor.  After hours (okay, minutes) of research, here's what I found.


Montreal Canadiens - Basically, if you're French-Canadian, scored a few goals, won a Cup, were really short or gave up 10 goals in a game, your number was retired.  Then there's Ken Dryden.  He was pretty good, though.


Toronto Maple Leafs - The Leafs have a tradition of only retiring numbers of Stanley Cup champion players.  Of course, after decades and decades of having nothing to do, they lifted that requirement for Mats Sundin.  Or maybe they're honoring his number.  There's a difference...


New Jersey Devils - It's pretty simple in New Jersey: if you're a defenseman and you win three Stanley Cups, your number gets retired.  That includes Martin Brodeur as a defenseman.


New York Rangers - Following New York sports tradition, if you were a fan favorite and didn't sign with your team's biggest rival, your number is automatically retired.


New York Islanders - The Isles also require a Stanley Cup for a player's number to be retired.  Or maybe they've just been so awful lately that there's been no numbers to retire...

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Ex-Devils who returned to New Jersey

"Hey, remember when we played in New Jersey? Yeah, me neither."

As many players have moved on from New Jersey in their careers, Devils fans never forget them.  That's why, when the players return to New Jersey, we don't forget what they did and we usually give them some kind of acknowledgement.  Sometimes we cheer, sometimes we boo, and other times we didn't care enough about the guy to give a crap.  On Thursday, Jamie Langenbrunner and Jason Arnott (if he's healthy) will return to New Jersey.  Let's take a look at past Devils and how they were treated (or should have been treated) when they returned to New Jersey.


Brian Gionta - Gio signed a free agent contract with Montreal, and when he came back to New Jersey for the first time, Devils fans tried to cheer him when he was on the ice, but nobody could find him.

Scott Gomez - Gomer committed the unthinkable crime: he left New Jersey to sign a free agent contract with the rival Rangers.  Devils fans booed him mercilessly and have successfully laid the Curse of the Devils on him.  He no longer possesses the ability to score goals.  Job well done, Devils fans.

John Madden - When Madden returned to New Jersey with Minnesota, Devils fans wanted to give him an ovation, but the glare of his Stanley Cup ring from Chicago blinded many fans.

Brendan Shanahan - Shanahan's return to New Jersey was with St. Louis in 1991.  Devils fans cheered him and thanked him, because he became the franchise's MVP...for leaving.

Tom Kurvers - Kurvers was forever cheered and thanked, similarly to how Shanahan was honored, when he returned to New Jersey.

Scott Clemmensen - Clemmer saved the Devils' season in 2008-09 when Martin Brodeur went down, but when he returned with the Panthers, his goals against average was about 5.00, so we laughed.  And then cheered.  Then we laughed again.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Things that have happened since Scott Gomez's last goal

On February 5th, 2011, Scott Gomez scored a goal on Martin Biron of the New York Rangers.  He didn't think much of it, but looking back, he should have.  Nearly a calendar year later, he has still not scored a goal since that game.  Let's first look at that goal by Gomez with some awesome French commentary from RDS and then look at other things that have happened in the NHL since Gomez's last goal.  As Sam Rosen would say, "this one will last a lifetime!"


  • Sam Gagner's 8 point night yesterday consisted of four goals, or infinity times the number Gomez has scored since February 5th, 2011.
     
  • Dustin Penner injured himself while eating delicious pancakes, which dethrones Rick DiPietro as most bizarre hockey injuries known to mankind.
     
  • Sami Salo dove on top of Brad Marchand, which was called as a clipping major for Marchand, marking the first time a Canuck player concussed himself and Salo's tenth injury of the season, according to the Boston media.
     
  • The New York Rangers are in first place in their division, something Gomez never experienced in New York (or Montreal...).
     
  • Tim Thomas boycotted the Bruins' visit to the White House, similarly to how Scott Gomez has boycotted scoring goals...maybe. 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Players who may be on the move

No, sorry, Tomas Kaberle has already been traded this season.
(By the way, he isn't about to take a shot in this picture.  That would be weird.)


It's that time of year again: NHL trade rumor time.  It's the stretch around the All-Star break when the media and fans (well, mostly fans) start coming up with trade rumors for every team in the NHL.  Who stays?  Who goes?  Who comes in?  I've piled up some of the rumors I've heard and included my take on each possible trade senario.  Take a look.


Luke Schenn to the Flyers for James van Riemsdyk - This trade absolutely makes sense.  Brian Burke gets another American player on the Leafs and the Flyers get a defenseman to threaten the opposition if they take a shot on Ilya Bryzgalov, so it helps their goaltending situation.


Bobby Ryan to the Rangers - Early in the season, this was the hottest rumor in hockey.  How did this trade break down?  Did Anaheim balk or did Glen Sather think Bobby Ryan was too under-paid to be a New York Ranger?


Jarome Iginla to the Penguins - Everyone in Calgary says Jarome Iginla is staying in Calgary.  That's exactly why everyone outside of Calgary is speculating that Pittsburgh will trade for him.  Plus, nobody wants to see him in Pittsburgh because he'd inevitably end up on I.R. a week later.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Other trade ideas including Calgary and Montreal

What?  Me, ask for a trade?  No, I love losing for Canadian hockey teams with red jerseys!


It seems like Pierre Gauthier, the Habs' general manager, decided mid-game, that he was going to trade Mike Cammalleri, even though he didn't know where he was trading him to at the time.  Either way, Cammalleri is now back in Calgary, as well as Kari Ramo and a 5th round pick.  Montreal adds Rene Bourque, a prospect (Patrick Holland) and a 2nd round pick.  It's a trade that raises more questions than answers, but here's something you didn't know: Gauthier and Jay Feaster had other trade ideas.  Here's a look at some of them.


  • Gauthier considered making a huge splash and trying to land the first overall draft pick to draft Nail Yakupov, but then he remembered Montreal's long-standing tradition to not have a Russian sniper who tries.
     
  • A trade fell through between the Kings and Habs that would have sent Dustin Penner to Montreal.  Penner was especially excited about the trade due to the especially delicious maple syrup in eastern Canada.
     
  • Glen Sather decided that he wanted Olli Jokinen back in New York, especially for shootouts, but after Feaster asked for some of the Rangers' most notable minor leaguers, Sather rejected the deal, because he didn't want to give up Sean Avery and Wade Redden.

Monday, December 26, 2011

NHL Christmas Gifts Recap

Maybe Ilya Bryzgalov should have gotten one of these for Chris Pronger to use.  You know...with a visor...


Many people spend the day after Christmas counting up their gifts.  NHL players do that as well, and some players received some interesting gifts this year.  Here's a look at what some of hockey's best players received for Christmas this year.


Henrik Lundqvist -
Gift: Two tickets to a Knicks game.
Problem: His buddy, Justin Bieber, has been hanging out in Toronto lately...


Ilya Bryzgalov -
Gift: A trip to the moon...obviously via the Russian space program, since NASA doesn't use shuttles anymore.
Problem: He's gotten lost in the woods.  Imagine how lost he would get in outer space...


Phil Kessel -
Gift: A new phone with an HD camera, just in time for the upcoming All-Star Weekend.
Problem: The captain of the team Kessel isn't on will definitely pick Alex Ovechkin way too early.


Drew Doughty -
Gift: A new contract that doesn't include the "everyone on the team must stop scoring" clause.
Problem: Dean Lombardi has no idea how to successfully sign a star player.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Inside a night at the NHL War Room

Alex Semin would make a decent NHL official, considering he's always asleep on the job.


In the wake of a number of questionable reviewed goal calls throughout the NHL recently, I began to wonder to myself what exactly goes in in the War Room on game nights?  My question soon became an answer, as I once again swiped Down Goes Brown and Down Goes Spezza's "Super Spies" for the day and had them find out for me.  Here's what I found.

6:57 PM - The officials all arrive at the War Room, running late of course.  Gary Bettman yells at someone for wearing a Caps hat.

6:58 PM - After ten seconds of technical difficulty, one of the officials says "screw it," turns off his assigned monitor and logs onto ESPN.com's box score for the Islanders-Devils game he's been assigned from his Smartphone.

6:59 PM - Most other officials do the same.  Gary Bettman opens an apparent closet door that turns out to be a massive flat-screen high-definition TV for the Penguins game.

7:00 PM - Some guys who speak French come into the room, but despite claims that they're here to work the Habs game so Montreal can get fair officiating with people who speak French, Bettman kicks them out.

7:02 PM - The guy assigned to the Vancouver Canucks game walks in, saying he had just spoken with some angry French guys.  Riots break out in the parking lot.

7:07 PM - The Penguins game gets under way after a slight delay as Sidney Crosby's phone went off following a "good luck" text from Bettman.

7:08 PM - Similarly, Gregory Campbell checks his phone and views a text from Colin Campbell.  Gregory is issued a minor penalty for delay of game.  Colin Campbell sits helpless in Brendan Shanahan's office, hand-cuffed behind his desk.

7:13 PM - After five uneventful minutes, Gary Bettman falls asleep.

7:14 PM - Bettman is startled awake by the Penguins goal horn...but wait!  The goal is under review.

7:15 PM - Bettman decides the goal looks good.  After awarding Pittsburgh of a goal, some Rangers players become upset, and they are penalized accordingly for caring.

7:39 PM - Brendan Shanahan is called into the War Room due to a questionable hit.  He immediately shows the footage to Colin Campbell.  Campbell recommends no suspension.  Shanahan thanks Campbell for the advice and begins his explaination video, deciding on a 5-game suspension.

8:05 PM - Another goal is under review on a Versus game, but the arena's referees can't get in touch with the War Room, because they have the National Anthem from the United Center on the big screen with the volume on maximum.

8:08 PM - After several tries of calling the War Room, the goal is waved off, as the league requested lower scoring games to annoy the Versus network.

8:23 PM - There's another goal under review!  This one is between the Predators and Coyotes.  The War Room officials scramble around, but can't find any video footage from the game.  They resort to the ESPN.com box score.  No goal.

8:25 PM - Bettman becomes bored and orders a pizza.

8:46 PM - Bettman's pizza is delivered by a guy wearing a Canadiens t-shirt.  Bettman slaps him and the man leaves.

9:07 PM - Most early games are entering the third period, so it's time to focus to make sure no calls are missed.  All officials refresh their box scores.

9:10 PM - The Montreal Police call Bettman to inform him that they are investigating his hit on the pizza delivery guy.

9:26 PM - There's a goal under review in New Jersey!  The Devils have tied the game with two seconds remaining!  Officials immediately call in a Photoshop expert to edit the image so it looks like Zach Parise has kicked the puck in.  No goal.  Devils lose.

9:34 PM - Following the conclusion of the Penguins game, officials review each Pittsburgh goal and decide since Sidney Crosby was on the ice for one of their goals, he is awarded an assist.

9:47 PM - Lou Lamoriello calls Bettman to appeal his decision of no-goal, but Bettman fines him and threatens to take draft picks from the Devils.

10:21 PM - Officials are reviewing how a puck got past Roberto Luongo, but everyone is genuinly confused.  The goal stands, though, despite not knowing how it is physically possible to allow such a goal.

11:43 PM - A tired Gary Bettman heads out for the night, bringing an angry Colin Campbell with him.

12:23 AM - All games have concluded.  Officials turn off all War Room phones to block angry complaining callers.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

NHL Power Rankings - Week of October 23rd, 2011

Welcome to DGA's Week 2 NHL Power Rankings.  There is a new #1 after Saturday night's lopsided battle of undefeated teams.  There's also a new #30.  Awesome.  For a complete list of all 30 NHL teams and their records, click here.


1. Washington Capitals (+2) - Tomas Vokoun has stepped up big-time for the Caps of late.  Then again, even Vesa Toskala could probably win a game when the Caps put up 7 against Detroit.

2. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - James Neal has taken the NHL by storm this season.  If he started shooting from areas other than the goal line, he could do even better.

3. Colorado Avalanche (+3) - The Avs are turning into road warriors this season, having won their sixth game in six tries away from home last night.  What would help them at home is if their goal horn didn't sound like a dying cow.

4. Los Angeles Kings (+7) - L.A. is coming off a 4-0-0 week, including three straight shutouts by Jonathan Quick, however Drew Doughty has just one assist in four games this season.  Whoever decided it was a good idea to give him such a big contract should learn some lessons about signing superstars...

5. Dallas Stars (+3) - Dallas is off to a strong start this season, just like last season.  Also like last season, they're led by the best forward the media thinks you've never heard of...even thought you've heard of Loui Eriksson.

6. Detroit Red Wings (-5) - In hindsight, starting their backup goalie in Washington after starting Howard against Columbus wasn't really the best idea...

7. Toronto Maple Leafs (--) - Mikhail Grabovski scored a pretty overtime goal in Montreal last night, but then again, Habs players are essentially traffic cones right now, in terms of movement and size.

8. Chicago Blackhawks (+8) - Chicago looks to be on its way to a rebound season after a first round exit from last year's playoffs.  Something else to note: last time Ray Emery was in the NHL, his team lost to Chicago in the Cup Finals.  I don't think Chicago will lose to Chicago this year, though.

9. San Jose Sharks (+15) - Joe Thornton played his 1,000th regular season NHL game this week.  It's important to note that it was in fact regular season, because even though his stat-card says he's played in 109 playoff games, you have to wonder if he's actually showed up for any of them.

10. Buffalo Sabres (-1) - Has anyone stopped to think about what would happen to Rick Jeanneret if the Buffalo Sabres were to win the Stanley Cup?

11. Vancouver Canucks (+6) - Ryan Kesler's return to the lineup against the Rangers this past week didn't pay off immediately, partially because Henrik Lundqvist was so busy stopping everything including the post-game riots.  The Canucks have won two straight since then.

12. Philadelphia Flyers (-8) - The Flyers dropped their first two games of the season this week, but at least they've got their number one goaltender playing well, he is playing...

13. Florida Panthers (+7) - The Panthers players might want to cancel their vacation plans for late April and could be to spend more time in Miami instead.

14. St. Louis Blues (+8) - Jason Arnott continues to work wonders for the Blues, which begs the question: how much longer will he last in St. Louis before Lou Lamoriello gets him back?

15. Tampa Bay Lightning (+8) - Tampa has only allowed one goal over its last two games after allowing 25 goals in their first give games.  The general feeling in Tampa Bay right now is that less is more, at least when talking to Martin St. Louis.

16. Edmonton Oilers (+5) - Ryan Nugent-Hopkins won't be returned to Juniors this season.  The bad news is that this means the Oilers are a better team, and thus won't have a legitimate shot at landing their third straight first overall pick this coming June.

17. Anaheim Ducks (-5) - The Ducks' big three are "saving it" for the playoffs.  How they're planning to get to the playoffs may become a bit of a problem.

18. Boston Bruins (-5) - Bruins fans were thanking Phil Kessel for indirectly giving their team Tyler Seguin, but Kessel has scored more than Seguin and his team is better than Seguin's at the moment.  I guess in Boston's twisted way of looking at things, they are better right now.

19. New York Islanders (-14) - Planet Earth welcomed back John Tavares this week, as the Isles look more like the Isles we've come to know recently.

20. New Jersey Devils (-10) - Down Zajac and Josefson, the Devils will spend Monday holding auditions to find another center.  Any fan who owns a jersey is invited.

21. Minnesota Wild (-7) - The Wild really need to work on protecting leads with 0.5 seconds to go in the 3rd period.  Teaching Dany Heatley to not act like a goat in overtime would help too.

22. Carolina Hurricanes (-3) - Blowing a 2-0 lead by allowing five straight goals to Winnipeg really hurt them.  The fact that Brian Boucher was their goaltender makes it far more understandable, though.

23. Nashville Predators (-8) - Pekka Rinne allowed four goals in one period to Vancouver, but he did shut out the Calgary Flames.  I'm not sure which performance was more impressive, honestly.

24. Winnipeg Jets (+6) - The Jets have been playing better recently.  It must be the lovely buffet Kyle Wellwood keeps taking his team to after each win.

25. New York Rangers (+2) - In short, Henrik Lundqvist is the difference between the Rangers having a single point this season in the NHL and being demoted to the AHL.

26. Ottawa Senators (+2) - If Ottawa's impressive come-from-behind victory last night had been against any team other than Columbus, it might actually cause people to take the Sens slightly more seriously.

27. Phoenix Coyotes (-9) - I think it's safe to say Phoenix probably shouldn't have drafted Kyle Turris third overall in 2007.

28. Montreal Canadiens (-3) - The highlight of the week for the Habs: Brian Gionta injuring James Reimer.  Well, that and Carey Price's apparent save in practice.

29. Calgary Flames (-3) - The Flames weren't awful this week, but expecting them to hold on and have a good year is like expecting Matt Cooke to not end at least one player's career this season: it just won't happen.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (-1) - Blowing a lead and losing in regulation by allowing two goals in the last 36 seconds of a game to Ottawa is a very clever way to continue their quest to Fail for Nail.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Worst NHL giveaway ideas ever

The plastic rat idea in Florida was a bad idea.  But you'd be surprised how many other promotions have gone wrong...

http://proicehockey.about.com/od/stanleycupbunker/ig/Stanley-Cup-Gallery/florida-rats-1996-Glenn-Cratty.htm


Every now and then, you'll see a bizarre promotion to sell a particular sporting event.  Some famous examples of this include Disco Night in Chicago for the White Sox, Reggie Bars Day at Yankee Stadium and the plastic rat giveaway for the Panthers.  But there are some even weirder promotional ideas that never actually make it out of the meeting rooms.  Luckily, I've been able to get a pretty decent list of some promotional ideas from the NHL.  Take a look.


Winnipeg Jets - The Jets had to scrap two ideas already this year.

  • Similar to a campaign run by the New Jersey Devils this season, the Winnipeg Jets talked about a ticket offer in which a fan could buy a regulaly-priced ticket to a Jets home game and receive a $10 food card as a bonus.  Unfortunately, Kyle Wellwood found out about this and tried to buy 15,000 tickets to Opening Night.
  • The Jets then turned to their Plan B: Any fan to purchase a box for a single game would be eligible for free boating lessons.  This also created a problem, because Dustin Byfuglien wiped out all of the tickets before the public could access them.

Boston Bruins

  • The Bruins talked about giving all children in attendance to their Opening Night game against the Flyers a replica Stanley Cup ring, but then considered that there might be some Flyers fans at the game.  For the safety of the young Flyers fans, who would be very confused by the sight of a championship ring, the Bruins cancelled the promotion.
  • Since fan ring night didn't work, the Bruins talked about Tomas Kaberle Bobblehead Night.  Then they remembered he doesn't play for them anymore.  They hardly noticed.

New York Rangers

  • Last season, Glen Sather and Rangers management ran a test of their Fan King Henrik Crown that they planned to give to fans this season.  Strangely, as soon as the playoffs began, the crowns began to fall apart and break.  This caused the giveaway to be ruined.  It turned out to be a huge waste of money...

Edmonton Oilers

  • The Oilers were planning to release a huge promotion about the Big Three: Taylor Hall, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Nail Yakupov all being drafted first overall by the Oilers in consecutive seasons.  Then they remembered that Columbus, Ottawa and Winnipeg were in the NHL this season.
  • The Oilers bounced back from their failed poster giveaway by planning Ferrari Die-Cast car night, as all kids in attendance to Oilers home games would receive a die-cast Ferrari with a player's number on it.  In a strange series of events, all of the Nikolai Khabibulin cars seemed to speed out of control every time someone opened one from its packaging.

Dallas Stars

  • After plans to have giveaways involving Mike Modano and Brad Richards, the Stars' marketing department decided to create a better fan experience.  They attempted to accomplish this by building a fan's lounge so that fans could escape the Dallas heat by spending time at a comfortable lounge before Stars home games.  The problem occured when the marketing department found Sheldon Souray sound asleep in the lounge during practice.

Calgary Flames

  • The Flames decided to start a program to help kids manage their money better, so they scheduled piggy bank giveaway night.  The idea was great, but every time someone dropped a coin into the piggy bank, it got stuck and the piggy bank started to overflow quickly.  This confused Darryl Sutter.

Vancouver Canucks

  • Out of nowhere, the Canucks planned Green Spandex Suit giveaway night, in which every single fan in attendance would get a suit just like the Green Men.  This created two problems: it angered the Green Men and caused city police a great deal of havoc trying to identify people during the post-game riots.

Montreal Canadiens

  • In a very generous gesture, Habs players donated a bunch of their actual game-worn jerseys to the Bell Centre to use as fan raffle items.  The problem with this is that none of the jerseys fit the fans that won them.  The arena measured the fans who complained, and found out that the average height of a Habs fan is taller than 5'7".

New Jersey Devils

  • The Devils actually had a fireworks display following the home game on New Year's Eve.  This sounded like a good idea, but they forgot to inform Newark Police about the promotion as the city's first responders searched in fear of a frantic shooter.

Chicago Blackhawks

  • In an attempt to re-live their Stanley Cup Championship, the Hawks gave all of their fans a customized video game where the player had to win 16 games to win the Stanley Cup as many seasons in a row as possible.  Unfortunately, due to a strange game glitch, nobody could ever win more than one in a row, because after the first Cup was won, the simulator traded the entire team away to save salary cap space.

New York Islanders

  • Hoping that their team would still be playing in the hot months, such as June, the Islanders gave all fans to select home games a hand-held fan to keep themselves cool.  The fault in this promotion was whenever someone pointed the fan in the direction of the rink, Rick DiPietro would immediately fall over in pain.

Nashville Predators

  • In anticipation of another playoff run this season, Nashville management tried to put together a motivational DVD to excite fans about another trip to the playoffs.  This promotion failed when they realized they didn't actually have any footage of the Predators' playoff games because the cameramen kept focusing on Carrie Underwood the whole time.

Detroit Red Wings

  • The Red Wings were planning Chris Osgood Night in Detroit, and as a bonus, all fans in attendance were going to get an interactive Osgood figurine featuring a mini-puck and stick to shoot at Osgood.  Then the Wings' staff soon noticed that the mini-Osgood was unable to stop virtually any puck thrown at it.  That would have been too authentic.

Tampa Bay Lightning

  • Following a long playoff run last spring, the Lightning wanted to assure fans that they weren't a one year wonder.  They set up a promotion that the fewer goals the Lightning allowed in a game, the bigger of a discount fans could get to an upcoming game.  This plan was scrapped because management didn't want fans paying ten times the actual value of the ticket.

Monday, October 10, 2011

A review of the Jets' return to Winnipeg

Vintage Phoenix Coyotes logo...

http://www.yourwinnipegjets.com/2011/06/20/winnipeg-nhl-team-name-announcement-iminent-will-be-the-jets/
It was a positive day in Winnipeg, as the city had a chance to cheer on an NHL team for the first time in 15 years.  The Montreal Canadiens weren't even able to spoil the party by beating the Winnipeg Jets, 5-1 at the MTS Centre.  Let's take a look at the day that was.  *Please note: all times are estimated.

3:00 PM (Eastern time): The zamboni driver is late.  He's been trying to get out of an Atlanta jail for many months now...

4:47 PM: Jets head coach Claude Noel gives his team a pre-game pep talk, warning them not to get caught up in all of the excitement and hype of the crowd, especially because most players on the team have never played a home game in front of as many as 15,000 people before.  He then turns to Kyle Wellwood and throws out his box of doughnuts.

4:50 PM: Dustin Byfuglien puts his jersey on and wonders why they had to put an airplane on the logo instead of something more his type, such as a boat.

4:57 PM: A fan asks Gary Bettman for his autograph.  Bettman flinches, expecting to be tackled by the fan, then asks what an autograph is.  There's a first for everything, I guess.

5:03 PM: Don Cherry steps onto the ice.  As he does, Ron MacLean accidentally bumps into his chin, but Cherry forgives him, because it wasn't an intentional headshot.

5:06 PM: Player intros.  As Evander Kane skates out, he sees many many hockey jerseys that say Winnipeg Jets on them, but they look weird.  They're clearly before his time.

5:15 PM: During the National Anthem, Dustin Byfuglien stares down Brian Gionta and cracks his knuckles.  Gionta hides behind Carey Price's blocker.

1st Period: After being slashed in the leg by a skate, Mike Cammelleri skates to the bench trying to get to the locker room, but can't find the locker room.

2nd Period: After getting beat on a second straight Canadiens' goal, Johnny Oduya asks Noel if there's any way to quiet the crowd so he can pay more attention on the ice.

2nd Intermission: Jets lose.  Oh, oops, wrong sport...

3rd Period: Nik Antropov finally gets the Jets on the board, as he stuffs in a loose puck in the crease.  Neighboring towns call the police in fear of an earthquake.

3rd Period: Dustin Byfuglien taps into Brian Gionta, sending him flying and drawing a penalty for Montreal and opening the floodgates.

3rd Period: As the final seconds wind down, fans give the team a standing ovation as they trail 5-1, which supports CBC's comments that Winnipeg fans are much more informed than Atlanta fans were.

End of Game: Jets lose (think I got it right this time...).

Postgame: Fans begin to realize that this isn't going to be as easy as they thought.  So, to compensate, they begin to take a look at 2012 NHL Entry Draft projections.

8:13 PM: A fan taps into a referee's car, sending it spinning across the parking lot out of control, but the fan drives away without stopping.

11:20 PM: Even without the Thrashers, the city of Atlanta keeps losing as the Falcons fall to the Packers, giving up 25 unanswered points, which is more than the Thrashers ever gave up in one game.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Guide for NHL General Managers for Free Agency 2011

It’s July 1st.  In a few brief hours, NHL Free Agency 2011 will begin.  You probably know who the big prizes are, and you probably know who many of the teams are with open checkbooks today.  Let’s take a look at a Free Agency spending guide that each General Manager should look at before making a plunge today.

Brian Burke – Today is actually Burke’s second favorite day of the year, right behind trade deadline day.  It’s also the day that waffle sales tend to spike in much of eastern Canada.
Player to watch: Burke has obviously made some noise on the Brad Richards front, but he’s not American.  Watch for Burke to pursue Chris Drury and Andy Greene.

Glen Sather – Unlike Burke, today is Sather’s favorite day of the year.  Unfortunately for him, the league doesn’t believe his annual “I got too excited so I added an extra “0” to that guy’s contract” speech when he tries to cut players’ salaries.
Player to watch: Sather wants Brad Richards.  I’d be curious to see where Richards would fall amongst Rangers greats such as Wade Redden, Chris Drury and Marian Gaborik.

Darcy Regier – Darcy has had the green light with the team’s checkbook already the off-season.  Strangely, a book titled “How to Spend the Most Money on July 1st” was spotted on his desk.  It was written by Glen Sather.
Player to watch: So far, Regier has brought in a defenseman whose name sounds like his and a former Canuck.  Basically, it’s time to cash in big today.

Stan Bowman – Chicago has over $11 million of cap space, so they might quietly make a big move today, which will most likely end up in Pierre McGuire explaining why that player will get along with Brian Campbell.
Player to watch: The Hawks don’t have one primary target, but they could be involved with just about anyone. 

Peter Chiarelli – Despite having an unlisted number, Peter is a bit upset that Mike Milbury found his number, since Milbury has left him dozens of messages of signings he wants to make today.
Player to watch: Although Tomas Kaberle wants to test the market, he might want to stay in Boston to avoid being overpaid, something players absolutely hate.

Kevin Cheveldayoff – Look for Winnipeg to sign a big name today as the first big move made with the team in Winnipeg.  Look for that player to use his entire salary to find a jacket heavy enough for this winter.
Player to watch: Ed Jovanovski.  One way or another, he probably figured he was going to Winnipeg this summer.

Dale Tallon – Tallon might have the biggest budget today.  He needs to spend $22 million just to get to the cap floor today.  Dale Tallon might have the most desired job in hockey.  Well, at least for today.
Player to watch: Steven Stamkos and Brad Richards.  Once he signs those two, he can throw a party for every Panthers fan with the money remaining.

Lou Lamoriello – While it’s never easy to figure out what Lou’s up to, Gary Bettman already promised to approve every contract Lou sends him today…barring it doesn’t include an NHL player.
Player to watch: Any retired player, because he might be coaching the Devils next year.

Ray Shero – Shero has some big decisions to make today, including Max Talbot and Mike Rupp.  It’s a good thing studs like Craig Adams and Arron Asham are already re-signed.
Player to watch: Jaromir Jagr, because whenever he feels like it, he could deke by an opposing player better than Bobby Ryan.

Pierre Gauthier – The Habs could lose Roman Hamrlik and Andrei Markov, in addition to James Wisniewski, but they do still have Hal Gill.
Player to watch: Forget Jagr, it would be far more amusing to see Alex Kovalev back in Montreal, assuming he still remembers how to get there.

Ken Holland – All of a sudden, Ken Holland looks like the overspending general manager, but it’s okay because the Red Wings are invincible to bad contracts.
Player to watch: Any defenseman.  They’ll look to replace Brian Rafalski, a smaller, undrafted free agent out of New Jersey.  Hey, we have one of those this summer!

Paul Holmgren – I can’t imagine what Holmgren has left to do other than trading Claude Giroux, James van Riemsdyk and Scott Hartnell for draft picks.
Player to watch: Ville Leino and Simon Gagne.  Both need to be re-signed by the Flyers.

Garth Snow – Today is the first day that Alexei Yashin is just a distant memory.  The Islanders must celebrate by wasting their money on another player.
Player to watch: Tomas Vokoun.  He’s reportedly looking for a 15-year contract.  Perfect.

Mike Gillis – Vancouver lost Christian Ehrhoff got a 10-year deal with Buffalo, and Gillis also faces losing Sami Salo and Chris Higgins to free agency.
Player to watch: Tomas Kaberle.  If Gillis signed Kaberle and he turned out to be a bust, Canuck fans could say he had “Ballard-syndrome.”

Steve Yzerman – Sean Bergenheim and Simon Gagne highlight Yzerman’s priorities today during free agency, as the media has kindly reminded him that no other impact player needs a new contract.
Player to watch: Steven Stamkos.  You’d never know it, but Stamkos is a restricted free agent.

Dean Lombardi – The LA Kings will continue to try to sign a big name, high-scoring forward.  They will likely continue to fail once Sather signs Brad Richards.
Player to watch: Drew Doughty, as he could quietly be the player that slips away if Lombardi isn’t careful.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Hockey bloggers unite: Your off-season guide to NHL teams

With the 2010-11 NHL season coming to an end recently, I decided that I wanted to put together one last memorable blog post for this year.  I think what I have here is just that.  I've invited several bloggers to help me write this post, in fact, I've done very little of the writing for this post.  These are all excellent hockey bloggers, and I would recommend following each of them on Twitter, and checking our their respective blogs.  Enjoy.


BOSTON BRUINS (written by Ryan Lambert, thetwolinepass.com, @twolinepass on Twitter)
2010-11 recap: They won the Stanley Cup with a fairly young roster and if not for Marc Savard's injury probably could have been the best team in the East in a runaway. So I guess that's pretty good.
Free agency: The only people of note they have leaving for free agency are Tomas Kaberle and Shawn Thornton. Guess which of those two get re-signed. Seriously, that's it. Everyone else from a Stanley Cup-winning team, save for RFA Brad Marchand, is back. And the Bruins have $7 million or so in cap space.
Draft: They pick ninth and they pick 40th. Yes, really. It doesn't seem fair, but here we are. They did a phenomenal job of stocking up on picks in previous seasons, and traded several for guys that would become key role players. And given the draft record, it's scary to think what the Bruins could pull this year.
2011-12 outlook: They have to be favorites to win the Cup again, right? Return almost everyone (except Mark Recchi) from a championship team, having a boatload of cap space, and another year of development and experience for guys like Seguin and Marchand? That's not pleasant for the rest of the East.

COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS (written by Brandon Gee, @UTPBrandon on Twitter)

November: To celebrate the Bluejackets third jersey, the team unveils a new mascot.
What was supposed to a cannon, instead resembled a dildo with a wheelchair stuck to its ass.
That’s about all you need to know about how the Bluejackets season went.
    The Bluejackets are faced with a fanbase that skipped anger, and went straight to apathy. Fans are fed up with 1 short playoff run in its history and dumped their tickets en masse. Prior to the season, the Columbus Dispatch revealed the news the team had lost 2200 full-season ticket equivalents. They’ve also lost a metric shit-ton of cash: 80 million since the lockout. The Buckeye football team took a collection, but sadly fell about 20 mil. short, thanks for effort guys. tattoos are on me next time! Entitled Canadians are waiting to sink their fangs into my team and can’t wait to drag them off to Quebec City or Hamilton. Now GM Scott Howson is tasked with saving this sinking ship, good for him he has only option.
Win. That’s all they have to do, and this can all go away.
Well look at this, hello Jeff Carter.
Howson staked out Paul Holmgren’s ‘Going out of my f@#$! mind’ sale & executed a trade that improves the top six immensely. Thursday marked what Jackets fans hope will be the turning point for the franchise, finally, Rick Nash gets a center. One who has contributed 30 goals in each of the last 3 years. Someone who will take opposing teams defensive focus off of Nash & allow more flexibility & creativity on the first line. There’s going to be a time later where we all complain about the no-trade clause, and the cap hit that lasts another 10 years. For now, we can think of a playoff run, where.we.might.win.a.game. Can you imagine that! Also, this trade means we can breathe a sigh of relief that prized prospect center Ryan Johansen will get the time he needs to adapt to the pro game. ANOTHER BONUS, now i don’t have to listen to fans & commentators mention how we don’t have a center for Nash. Oh Thank Howson!
   
              Howson excels at the draft, making shrewd moves that have increased depth and added substantial roster players (Umberger was a draft weekend trade with PHI). Fans are convinced at least one other big move is coming, hopefully a d-man. Even if it doesnt happen, after this move we know Howson is exhausting all possible options to get deals done.
It's turning into Christmas for us: Santa Howson, we’ve been very good, please bring the Bluejackets a d-man who can score more than TWO goals on the powerplay. If not, could you at least fix this goalie i have, its turned into a raging primadonna and forgets to stop goals for the first 10 minutes of games. A full-time time nanny, ahem, coach, might do the trick.


DETROIT RED WINGS (written by Andy, @FightNightatJoe on Twitter, norwarizona.wordpress.com)

2010-2011 recap: The Detroit Red Wings had their second catastrophic season in a row, finishing third in the West and not getting further than only the second, SECOND (!), round of the playoffs, their worst two-year performance in seven years. While it’s tempting to blame this on the fact that the referees, NHL and everyone envies the Red Wings and hates their guts, the real blame is the media. Due to the media’s jokes about the team being too old, the Red Wings decided to prove their youth by playing with the attention span and consistency of a five year old and were rarely, if ever, able to focus on performing in a game for a full 60 minutes.

Free agency: With Rafalski gone the Wings will be looking to add a defenseman or two, but the extent of their free agency activity will be determined later this month when Nicklas Lidström reveals if he’s retiring or if he’s actually a greek God put on earth to dominate the NHL and look like he’s 25 for the rest of earth's history.

Draft: The first rounds matter little to the Red Wings, seeing as we know they’re going to draft some European player no one has ever heard of in the 6th round, and that said player will go on to dominate the NHL and win countless trophies for the next 15 years.

2011-12 outlook: Pavel Datsyuk is practicing for the season by being a pickpocket on the streets of Moscow, Chris Osgood finally looks like he’s of legal drinking age (if he’ll get to stay is a different question) and this might just be the year when Tomas Holmström learns to speak understandable English (no it isn’t, trust me, the guy is barely understandable in Swedish). So it should be another glorious year in Hockeytown. And if not, well, we can always blame Bettman.


FLORIDA PANTHERS (written by @JagsFan93 on Twitter, mattssportsmusings.blogspot.com)

2010-2011 Recap: The Panthers missed the playoffs. In other breaking news…Sarah Palin can’t see Russia from her house, John MacLean sucks, and Pierre McGuire is still dumb. So, still more of the same in South Florida. But, the Cats were not last in attendance (thanks Coyotes), and got rid of some dead weight, including a coach who is destined to make another mess.

Free Agency: Tomas Vokoun is the big Cat (no pun) to be signed. He could go to Philly, but he’s smarter than that. Other guys that could be important are Jack Skille, Mike Santorelli, and not Michael Grabner (Steve Bernier). The rest of the guys you don’t know and probably shouldn’t care about.

Draft: After years upon years of drafting badly (Here’s looking at you Keenan and Martin), things finally look good because Dale Tallon is at the helm. Because the Panthers scored fewer goals than the New York Red Bulls on average last season, a scorer would be nice. Ryan Nugent-Hopkins or Gabriel Landeskog could be the next 2 guys to try to score big BankAtlantic goals (cha-ching!)

2011-2012 Outlook: The team may actually put up a challenge to the Big 3 and steal some frontrunners away, because with a possible $25-30 million in salary cap space, the sky is the limit. And for this Panthers fan, one of the few and proud on twitter, relevancy is one step to finally making the playoffs.


MONTREAL CANADIENS (by Laura – Twitter: @habbykins, habbykins.blogspot.com)

I have been concerned about being too wordy even for a Habs fan. Apparently there is no such thing as being too long-winded especially when you are a Habs fan. 

2010-11 Recap: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
The Good – Finding a couple of players in the minors who were able to step up when the team needed it and having the guts to trade for a million defensemen who were all used this past season. One goes down? No worry, just pick up another. Some were upgrades; some were serviceable.  Carey Price did have a fairly good year, and then there is Subban who took his game to a new level when pressed.

The Bad – Too small and too inconsistent; too many passengers for too much of the season; taking shifts/games/weeks/months/season off.  Now I can see having a bad shift or game or even a slump happens to everybody in all skates of life, but how long do these have to last? What was that Gomer?  You have to play better lest you let down your team mates etc. How many times did you say this during the year? As one company in a former line of work would say: Just Do It.

The Ugly – While it is difficult to find ugly on my team of beauties I find myself looking squarely at JMart and his usage of the would-be marvellous top liner Travis Moen. There is nothing wrong with Moen. He plays hard etc., but beautiful hands he does not have.  He gets space and takes off down the ice on a break or semi-break regularly and if he had Cammy’s hands he would score 50 goals a season. Alas that is not the case.  Shakes head and rolls eyes.

Free Agency: Insanity
The definition of insanity according to Einstein is to do the same thing repeatedly and expect different results – so yes my team is insane.  So far Pierre Gauthier has taken to doling out one year contracts to all the same players at the same money. Last I checked none of them are getting any younger, nor are they getting any quicker and certainly are not growing vertically.  They have a lot of free agents on the defence this time around, so we will sign some of the billion defensemen that were around last year, BUT only the ones so far that were around at the beginning of last season.  Coulda/woulda/shoulda time at this time next year perhaps, but it looks like almost the whole team will be free-agents at the end of next season.

2011/12 Outlook: Reality Bites
So with essentially the same team as last year with a couple of changes it looks like same top 6 (barring any trades or signings) and some minor changes in the bottom 6.  Hey, let’s plan the parade.  Do I think this is a possibility? Check that definition of insanity again.


NEW JERSEY DEVILS (written by Down Goes Avery, @DownGoesAvery on
Twitter, downgoesavery.com)

2010-11 recap: This past season will probably go down as a failure, since it snapped a 13-year playoff run and 19 straight years over .500, but hey, look at the bright side, this season ended two Devils' coaches careers.  That's down from...well, it's about average for the Devils.

Free agency: Zach Parise is the Devils' biggest free agent that needs to be signed.  If Lou Lamoriello can't sweet-talk Parise, we may be stuck with Vladimir Zharkov as the Devils' star winger.  It's too bad the Devils don't have another world-class sniper from Russia...

Draft: The Devils haven't recovered from losing defenseman Mike Mottau, err...Paul Martin to free agency, so drafting Adam Larsson would be ideal.  Gary Bettman is still recovering from the heart attack he suffered when he found out that the Devils won the draft lottery.

2011-12 outlook: The Devils clear plenty of salary cap after 2011-12, but they should be good enough to not be the only team that fails to score 2.00 or more goals per game.  Oh and don't worry: Lou Lamoriello always stocks up on jelly in the off-season.  That's status quo.


NEW YORK RANGERS (written by PuckCentral, @PuckCentral on Twitter) 

2010-11 recap: This season ended the same exact way as the previous 16 seasons - Cupless! At the end of the day, whether you get to the Stanley Cup Finals and lose in triple OT or finish dead last during the regular season, the result is the same, you failed. From a fan standpoint the season ended pretty much as any realistic fan would've expected.

Free agency: The most expensive free agent signing of the summer may not be by the Rangers! Looks like Philly may be seriously overpaying for Ilya Bryzgalov. However, if the Rangers go hard after Brad Richards, as is expected, the Rangers may once again be the big spenders during the offseason. Big surprise!

Draft: Rangers fans just hope that the Rangers just don't make another HUGH mistake like they did in 2003. In all honesty though, even the Rangers can only draft such a dud once a decade.

2011-12 outlook: It looks like the Rangers will head into the new NHL season with a new captain, with all signs indicating that Chris Drury will be forced to retire due to a knee injury. With Gomez, Drury and Redden no longer on the team eating up cap space, who will the fans jump on next for being overpaid and a waste of space? Hopefully, Marian Gaborik comes out of the gate like a thoroughbred and doesn't give the naysayers any fodder. With the changing of the guard as far as leadership goes, the Rangers will continue to improve with an extremely young nucleus, of which the key cogs are actually homegrown talent! The Rangers will once again be playoff bound, hopefully the franchise is now at the point where that alone just isn't good enough....


OTTAWA SENATORS (by Ryan Classic, @RyanClassic on Twitter)

2010-11 recap: A train wreck of a season. Once it became clear that Ottawa would finish in a lottery position, GM Bryan Murray started unloading every player that had a modicum of value. In the process he traded goalie Brian Elliott to Colorado for Craig Anderson, who then singlehandedly screwed Ottawa out of a top-three pick by being the first capable goalie in team history. Also, New Jersey won the draft lottery and bumped the Senators to the 6th-overall pick. Thanks, New Jersey.

Free agency: Ottawa’s top three UFAs are Pascal Leclaire, Ryan Shannon, and Marek Svatos. That’s pretty sad. The only one worth retaining (and that’s a stretch) is Shannon. The Senators need a backup goalie who won’t challenge Anderson whatsoever. Other than that, it’s filler players who won’t help the team win.

Draft needs: Anyone who isn’t a defenceman. The Senators are already going into next season with possibly two rookie defencemen (with at least one another solid prospect on the farm). They need forwards. Really, any kind of forward will do. Winger, centre... anybody who can score. Ideally, they’d like Gabriel Landeskog or Jonathan Huberdeau, but Ryan Strome is probably their most-likely option. With the 21st-overall pick from Nashville, they can afford to take the best player available, so long as it isn’t a defenceman. They probably don’t need a goalie, either.

2011-12 outlook: Another lottery pick-calibre season, probably once more screwed over by Craig Anderson. This is a bad, bad team. How bad? Ryan Shannon was the 2nd-line centre by the end of last season. It’s their 20th-anniversary season, and they’ll probably finish last in their division and be one of the laughingstocks of the NHL. But that’s okay. Ottawa Senators hockey: it’s awful. But at least their new coach has an awesome mustache.


PHILADELPHIA FLYERS (written by Down Goes Spezza, downgoesspezza.com, @DownGoesSpezza on Twitter)

“Paul Holmgren's Draft Day Agenda”
We here at DGS have been trying to find out what Paul Holmgren would be doing on draft day since the Flyers apparently have negative picks. So, like any "responsible journalists" err crazy bloggers we sent the DGS SuperSpies to break into Paul Holmgren's office and we found Paul Holmgren's Draft Day agenda for the 2011 Draft in Minnesota.


Thursday June 23:

Flight to Minnesota: 3pm- remember to ask entire plane if anyone plays goalie, if you get a "yes" sign them.

Arrive in Minnesota: 5pm- remember to ask cab driver if he plays goalie, if he says yes, sign him

Arrive at Hotel in St. Paul: 6pm- Check in at the hotel, make dinner reservations for 7:30pm, ask concierge, bellhop and desk clerk at hotel if anyone plays goalie...sign them anyway

Dinner at 7:30p: Ask waiter if he plays goalie, sign him anyway. Call Glen Sather over to the table, tell him I plan on offering Alex Kovalev a contract, watch him offer Kovalev 6 years 39 million...laugh

Return to Hotel 9pm: Pull out scouting reports on draft eligible players, throw them into hotel pool for amusement.

Bedtime 10pm: I have a long day tomorrow, there's lots of work to be done. 

Wakeup 6am: Call other GMs, offer this thing called "4th round pick"  that I got for Simon Gagne last year. Maybe I can get that Steve Mason guy from Columbus I heard he plays goalie like a "right catching Mike Leighton" that sounds like a good thing.

Breakfast 7am: Remember to bring my jelly for my toast, Crazy Lou's gonna steal the rest of it from the hotel again.

Pre-Draft Reading 8am: Go http://www.hockey-reference.com/friv/birthplaces.cgi?country=US&province=&state=MN and read about goalies from Minnesota, see which ones are still alive, offer them contracts

College Visit 1pm: Drive to Bemidji State University, find out how to pronounce it. Pray that Matt Read works out. Hey wait, BSU is a college that has a hockey team, that means they have goalies. Sign them.

Head back to St Paul/Minneapolis 6pm: Drive to the Bufflin family home in Minneapolis, tell them to spell the name like it sounds. Find out if any of them play goalie. Sign them.

Back to the "Draft" 7:30pm: This is totally a beer party right? We pick if we like St Pauli Girl, Labatt or Molson or something, right?


SAN JOSE SHARKS (written by Chris Sampang, @chrissampang on Twitter)

...So I'm fighting a headache right now, in other words, a feeling not unfamiliar to most Sharks fans after the end of May comes around and Team Teal no longer shows up on the Versus ticker.  (On the other hand, if the Sharks were highlighted on the ESPN ticker at any point, I'd call for confetti and a state holiday here in California!)

What to do to cure this ailment, this lack of Bay Area on-ice activity in the month of June?  Hmm, how about a defenseman who is at least marginally more competent than the recently departed Niclas Wallin?   I guess Brent Burns is available!  Yay!
...wait.

So in order to get him, Doug Wilson decided that the 3-year deal Devin Setoguchi just signed was nothing more than trade bait, even while the ink was fresh?  Great.  What a way to continue to attract the high caliber of free agents that have come here, you know, like, um...uh...old Rob Blake...and...uh...yeah.  That's about it.

Apparently some prospect named Charlie Coyle also got sent off, which in HFBoards terms is almost like giving up a guaranteed Stanley Cup.  In rational words, all that matters is the Sharks now have someone on the blueline other than Boyle who has something resembling consistent puckhandling skills, which apparently were not a requirement before (Wallin, Huskins et al.) - ironic considering Wilson's Norris Trophy pedigree.

Also, Niemi is locked up for several years in net, even though the paradigm has CLEARLY shifted to Vezina Candidates Are Guaranteed Cup Finalists, just a year after Dollar Store Goalies Are Clearly Cup Finalists, and a year after two consecutive fourth rounds of Goalies Who Are Way More Impressive In The Postseason Than Regular Season Are What You Want.  What this means for Niemi's future results in teal? Who knows.

Back to this here draft thing, with the Burns transaction being the biggest story surrounding the team - a miniature, less drastic version of Paul Holmgren's "Let's Trade A Fan Favorite Away" strategy - everything else kinda pales in comparison.  Charlie Coyle's Boston University teammate Matt Nieto now joins the cupboard of potential, a California native who likes the idea of not having to change timezones if he ever makes it to the NHL.  Some stay-at-homer from the OHL named Justin Sefton also enters the fray, with potential to be a future bottom-pairing defenseman in the big league!  

Dan Boyle's alma mater of Miami University is represented by Sean Kuraly, who hopefully will not spend his time there practicing slapshots at the wrong goal.

And in a massive shocker, after 15 years of avoiding picking Russians in the draft, the Sharks shocked everyone (all 5 people still watching the live stream of the draft in the late hours) and picked one in Danil Sobchenko.  As one HFBoards poster pointed out, his 6th round berth in the draft (due to lack of exposure) clearly gives him a 50% chance of making it to Silicon Valley eventually, based on past Sharks history!  NEXT ZETTERBERG BY DEFAULT!!?

Hopefully next summer half of the folks listed above will be walking down Santa Clara Street with bling and ticker tape surrounding them.  Yes, that would mean if the Sharks make it to the Finals somehow and don't win a single game, it'd be such an improvement for this franchise that I think festivities would be in order, too.  It's only been a short wait, if short can be defined as "half of Toronto's cup drought."


TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING (by Don't Trade Vinny.  www.donttradevinny.com, @DontTradeVinny on Twitter)

2010-11 recap: The Lightning had a season for the ages.  The season marked the return to the playoffs after a four year absence, the return of an NHL caliber starting goal tender, a sparkling debut for Steve Yzerman as GM, and the emergence of Guy Boucher's scar as a marquee NHL superstar. 

Free agency: Lots of free agency questions for this team, since Stevie Y's first move upon taking office was to sign every player to a one year deal.  And despite the glorious possibility of a Brad Richards Reunion Tour, the most pressing FA issue is RFA Steven Stamkos.  He's likely looking for a long term deal at around $7M a year.  Which, will give TBL fans what they all want; an excuse to call him overpaid and demand he gets traded when he gets hurt a couple times, or some idiot coach separates him from the linemates he's most successful with, or when he gets prematurely saddled with a letter on his jersey and struggles with the burden for a season or two.  This will also give funny, long time fans a reason to start the blog Don't Trade Stammer.  Make no mistake, the Stamkos contract talks are a defining moment for the franchise.

Draft: If I were Steve Yzerman, I'd spend the entire draft drafting defensemen and goalies.  Just by shear numbers, some of them would have to be good.  If he's not going to do that, I'd settle for one of two things:  Somebody who finally clear the damn crease once in a while; or a hypnotist that can convince Mattias Ohlund to retire.

2011-12 outlook: Jedi Master Yzerman (http://www.donttradevinny.com/2010/07/how-this-all-happened-how-stevie-got.html ) unloads Mattias Ohlund on an unsuspecting Winnipeg Thrashajetters organization, allowing us the cap room to sign Brad Richards, Steven Stamkos, and bring back Grandpa Roloson.  Guy Boucher's scar takes over the press conferences, allowing Bouch more time to study film.  Vinny Lecavalier continues his resurgence, and with BFF Richie returning records a 150 point season.  Marty St. Louis continues eating hockey sticks for breakfast and breaks into triple digit scoring as well.  The Lightning win the Stanley Cup, and piss off a whole lot of Bruins fans along the way. 


TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS (written by Down Goes Brown, @DownGoesBrown on Twitter, downgoesbrown.com)

2010-11 recap: The Maple Leafs will be picking 30th out of 30 teams, thanks to Tomas Kaberle and the rest of the Stanley Cup champions! (Sorry, I like to write recaps that would excite any Leaf fans who are just waking up from a twelve month coma.)

Free agency: The Maple Leafs needs, in order of priority: a first line center; a first line winger; a second line center; a veteran goalie. So look for them to sign three more overpriced defencemen and call it a day.

Draft: The Leafs have two picks in the first round, both of which will involve them staring into the middle distance as the timer counts down before suddenly saying "Wait, is it round three already?"

2011-12 outlook: The Leafs own their own first round pick this year, so at least we know they won't be finishing in the lottery.


VANCOUVER CANUCKS (written by @Artemchubarov on Twitter)

2010-11 recap: Hard to call what was - by far - the most successful season in the franchises sad, sad history a failure; but this season was about winning the cup and the team failed to do it. Still, there are a lot of positives to take from the 2010-11 season: the team won 69 games, the Western Conference and the Presidents Trophy and will dominate next weeks awards show. Despite all the hardware, the Canucks are still as ringless as Smeagol - and that will be the defining image of the 2010-11 team, well, that and the embarrassing riot.

Free agency: Gillis' major quandry: Bieksa, Ehrhoff or both. Bieksa distinguished himself in the playoffs, and partnered effectively with Dan Hamhuis. Ehrhoff is a 50 point defenseman who is a force on the power-play, but he has some warts (his two-way play leaves this blogger cold). Both will be expensive, and will be looking for career pay-days. Though fan-boys are clamoring for a power-forward to lineup with Kesler, Gillis' most difficult offseason decisions concern his blue-line.

Draft: Canucks possess picks #30 and #60 in the 2011 NHL draft. Gillis will likely be looking at players like Stuart Percy, Duncan Siemens, Victor Rask, Rocco Grimaldi and Michael St. Croix at the end of the first round. Personally, I'm hoping Zach Phillips somehow falls to #30, but that is as likely as Canucks fans handling a game 7 finals loss with class.

2011-12 outlook: Canucks may have 8 UFAs and 2 RFAs, but they've also got 18+ in cap-space so hopefully a majority of those free-agents will return. Gillis should accuse Burke of tampering at least once this offseason, and will probably trade future 70 point scorer Cody Hodgson to the Islanders for Marc Eaton, who will promptly be scratched for the entirety of the playoffs.