A fan's guide to dealing with elimination

Pictured: Marc-Andre Fleury's 5-hole in NYC.  Or maybe that's the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel.  They're the same size...

For 29 NHL fan bases every season, dealing with elimination is a reality.  As much as we dread our team's last game of the season, it's very likely going to happen each year.  For some fan bases, that time has already come, and by this time next week, even more fan bases will be left wondering what went wrong.  But cheer up, because I've provided a coping method.  Here's how you deal with elimination and what to do when it happens.



Why did your team get eliminated?
a) Our goaltender's five-hole makes Michael Leighton's five-hole look microscopic.  Plus, we had so many injuries, and we're obviously the only team that had injuries all season and the refs screwed us over like a million times!  The league hates us!  It's a conspiracy!
b) We got trapped!  And that team won't even be in that city next year...
c) We choked because our superstar players disappear in the playoffs every year!
d) We ran into a really good goalie.  Dammit, I'm going to riot now.
e) We actually have no talent, so we didn't expect to go far.


How would you assess your regular season?
a) We had a good year, but we obviously would have been the best team in the league if we had all of our players healthy...
b) Aside from that one time when we lost like a million games in a row and that other time that we blew that lead, it was pretty good.
c) It was so good that our players got so into games that they were helping out from the bench and everything!
d) You know, I think the President's Trophy is prettier than the Stanley Cup, anyway.
e) We were so bad that even I could crack the lineup...

2012 NHL Playoff Bracket

I worked this out several different ways.  Boston-Nashville kept turning out to be the Stanley Cup Finals.

It's mid-April.  The NHL playoffs are about to start, and 16 fan bases are optimistic that this could be their team's year to win the Stanley Cup!  The horrible truth to this is that most of us will be let down and our teams will be knocked out of the playoffs earlier than we had originally hoped.  So now that I've depressed you a bit, it's time for the second installment (here's last year's bracket, in case for some bizarre reason, you'd like to see it) of my playoff bracket.

*All NHL logos were


Eastern Conference (I start with the East because of East Coast Bias)


#1 New York Rangers vs. #8 Ottawa Senators
Series slogan: What goes first?  Paul MacLean's 'stache or John Tortorella's temper?

I'm used to seeing the Rangers in the 1/8 matchup, but not as the #1 seed.  Both of these teams would be considered "over-achievers" this season.  A lot has to go right for Ottawa to win the series, and although I'm not crazy about giving goalies all the credit in the world, but this series will come down to goaltending.  Craig Anderson has seen this before: his Colorado Avalanche were the 8th seed in the spring of 2010, and he stole a pair of games for the Avs before losing in six to San Jose.  This series will be similar, although this Senators team is a much more offensively skilled team.  Ottawa will need to be very patient in this series, because the Rangers not only love to collapse in the neutral zone, but they collapse around the net and will make it difficult for Erik Karlsson and the Sens' defense to get their point shots through to Henrik Lundqvist.  Lundqvist, by the way, had a save percentage of .895 in March and April, so he'll need to be much better than that, or his Rangers could be heading home early again.

My pick: Rangers in 6.
Confidence in my pick: 9/10


#2 Boston Bruins vs. #7 Washington Capitals
Series slogan: Tim Thomas can ship up to Boston, but he'll have to be in the city of the White House too

It's been an inconsistently brilliant season for the defending Stanley Cup champion Boston Bruins, but when they're on, they are the best team in the NHL.  They have a dynamic, yet balanced attack, which compliments Zdeno Chara, the world's best defenseman, and Tim Thomas, an elite NHL goaltender, very well.  The Capitals, meanwhile, had a very disappointing season and almost missed the playoffs, yet here they are, playing very well lately, as they've won four of five games heading into the playoffs.  If they had a consistent and healthy goaltender, I would pick this as the upset, since Washington is far overdue to make a long playoff run, but they don't, so it'll be another early exit for the Caps, even with Nicklas Backstrom healthy.  But hey, at least they fired Bruce Boudreau, riiight?!

My pick: Bruins in 6.
Confidence in my pick: 5/10


#3 Florida Panthers vs. #6 New Jersey Devils
Series slogan: If a playoff series was buried off NBC's networks and nobody saw it, did it really happen?

(I'll have a more detailed preview of this series during the week) It's been a long time coming since the Florida Panthers made the playoffs, but finally, the Panthers are the latest Miami team to take advantage of free agency to improve their team.  And the Panthers didn't sign LeBron James or Jose Reyes, so you don't have to hate on them.  The Panthers have their "Big 3," though, as Fleischmann, Weiss and Versteeg make up a very dangerous scoring line.  Meanwhile, it's been a huge bounce-back season for the Devils under yet another new coach, Pete DeBoer.  They won 48 games and picked up 102 points after missing the playoffs for just the second time in 22 seasons.  The Devils are no longer the old trap Devils, in fact, they're one of the East's most up-tempo and deep offensive teams.  That will be why the Devils win this series.  They have depth, as good of a defense as any New Jersey blue line since the lockout and Martin Brodeur has been playing very well since the All-Star Break.  Plus, DeBoer would love to beat the team that fired him.  If the Devils play a disciplined and smart game, which they'll have to against Florida, this won't be a very long series.

My pick: Devils in 5.
Confidence in my pick: 9/10

Some St. Patrick's Day Traditions Across the NHL

Maybe fans will start throwing four leaf clovers onto the ice.  You know, there's four leafs, ugh, leaves and all...

Like many of us non-NHL players, several NHL players have various traditions that they follow every time St. Patrik (or Patrick)'s Day comes around.  I've put together a list of some of the traditions that people around the NHL.


Patrick Kane - Gets drunk.


Tim Thomas - Goes with a group of his friends to someone's house to party.  I can't swear by this, but I don't think it's a white house.


Adam Larsson - Has a tradition of insisting to bartenders that I.D.'s are a ridiculous way to proof people's age.


Boston Bruins - Have "Shipping up to Boston" playing constantly at TD Garden, which annoys no one, says Zdeno Chara, who's guarding the music room.


Patrick Kane - Still drunk.


Dustin Byfuglien - Upon drinking his fifth or sixth beer, he makes the mature decision not to drive drunk.  Instead, he often takes his boat out, which doesn't always end well for him.


Colorado Avalanche - Like most NHL teams, the Avs sell green t-shirts with their players names on the back and an added O', such as O'O'Brien, O'O'Byrne and O'O'Reilly.

Players who could impact the NHL playoff race

"I start to play good when we fire our coach, hahahaha!!! ... we fired Bruce Who-dreau???"

As the NHL regular season winds down into its final quarter, the playoff race is tight in both conferences, despite Eastern Conference teams seemingly trying everything they can to miss the playoffs.  As you might expect, teams are banking on certain players to have a significant impact on the playoff race, so I figured I'd mention a few of them.


Sidney Crosby - Most times, teams are thrilled when players can have a positive impact on their own team, yet every time Sidney Crosby's name is mentioned in NHL locker rooms recently, goalies seem to freeze and pass out.  Except for Maple Leafs goaltenders, since they've already headed for the showers by the second period.


Ilya Bryzgalov - Ilya Bryzgalov seems to have saved his season, and there's a good reason why.  He's spent all season trying to find the exact spot in the universe where his former team, the Phoenix Coyotes will be playing next season, after finding no results for "2012-13 Coyotes season tickets."


Alexander Radulov - Due to a bizarre set of circumstances, Radulov might actually come to the NHL this season and play with the Preds in the playoffs.  If he gets the Preds past the first round, he'd be the first russian hockey player named "Alexander" to succeed in the NHL playoffs.

Things that happen every 4 years

Pictured: 2 NHL toddlers.  Simon Gagne turns 8 today and Cam Ward turns 7.

It's leap day.  February 29th.  The day that comes every 4 years.  Since this day only happens every 4 years, I thought it would be appropriate to look at some other events that only occur every 4 years.  This was one of the simpler blogs posts I've written.  Take a look.

• Bob McKenzie screws up a trade on Twitter.
   
• Scott Gomez scores a goal...sometimes two.
   
• A Flyers goaltender posts a shutout.
   
• Henrik Lundqvist allows a goal.
   
• Peter Forsberg un-retires.
   
• The Devils go through 4 head coaches.
   
• Dany Heatley gets traded.  Twice.
   
• Leafs fans call for Ron Wilson's firing, two weeks after petitioning to the NHL for his Adam Trophy nomination.
   
• The Islanders win a playoff series. 

Comparing the NHL stretch run and MLB Spring Training



Alex Rodriguez isn't the only Alex who's been distracted from his sport recently.



It's about this time of year that professional baseball players and major league-hopefuls are reporting to Arizona or Florida for MLB's annual Spring Training.  It's also this time of year that the NHL is preparing for the final stretch before the playoffs.  I figured there have to be some similarities and differences, and it turns out that I was right...well, sort of.


Similarity: The games are completely meaningless for teams from Washington D.C.
Difference: The Nationals could surprise everyone and compete for a playoff spot.


Similarity: Superstar players are meeting their new teams, either after free agency or trades.
Difference: Rick Nash expects to meet his very first full-time NHL team next week.


Similarity: Many teams are preparing for this season, while others are already looking towards next season.
Difference: For hockey fans in Phoenix, they are very, very afraid of next season.


Similarity: The New York teams are trying to build on the Giants' Superbowl victory by bringing the Big Apple more championships this year.
Difference: The Mets and Islanders sit off to the side awkwardly.


Similarity: Teams in both leagues are making trades to improve their team.
Difference: The Colorado Avalanche are getting manipulated miserably by Steve Yzerman.

Ex-Devils who returned to New Jersey

"Hey, remember when we played in New Jersey? Yeah, me neither."

As many players have moved on from New Jersey in their careers, Devils fans never forget them.  That's why, when the players return to New Jersey, we don't forget what they did and we usually give them some kind of acknowledgement.  Sometimes we cheer, sometimes we boo, and other times we didn't care enough about the guy to give a crap.  On Thursday, Jamie Langenbrunner and Jason Arnott (if he's healthy) will return to New Jersey.  Let's take a look at past Devils and how they were treated (or should have been treated) when they returned to New Jersey.


Brian Gionta - Gio signed a free agent contract with Montreal, and when he came back to New Jersey for the first time, Devils fans tried to cheer him when he was on the ice, but nobody could find him.

Scott Gomez - Gomer committed the unthinkable crime: he left New Jersey to sign a free agent contract with the rival Rangers.  Devils fans booed him mercilessly and have successfully laid the Curse of the Devils on him.  He no longer possesses the ability to score goals.  Job well done, Devils fans.

John Madden - When Madden returned to New Jersey with Minnesota, Devils fans wanted to give him an ovation, but the glare of his Stanley Cup ring from Chicago blinded many fans.

Brendan Shanahan - Shanahan's return to New Jersey was with St. Louis in 1991.  Devils fans cheered him and thanked him, because he became the franchise's MVP...for leaving.

Tom Kurvers - Kurvers was forever cheered and thanked, similarly to how Shanahan was honored, when he returned to New Jersey.

Scott Clemmensen - Clemmer saved the Devils' season in 2008-09 when Martin Brodeur went down, but when he returned with the Panthers, his goals against average was about 5.00, so we laughed.  And then cheered.  Then we laughed again.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of February 6th, 2012

This week's power rankings are a little late to come out.  First of all, the NFL team which I am devoted to happened to win the Superbowl last night and I doubt anyone would have read a hockey post last night anyway.  So, now that another football season is behind us, it's time for the stretch run this NHL season.  Here's a look at my power rankings for a week, with some very careful and insightful analysis.


1. Detroit Red Wings - The Wings are trying to pretend that Montreal doesn't exist...

2. Nashville Predators - It's early on, but Pekka Rinne is proving the notion that all rich goalies are terrible this season.

3. New York Rangers - The NHL should let the Rangers have two timeouts per game under the condition that John Tortorella can throw two tantrums per game.

4. St. Louis Blues - Ken Hitchcock reportedly had his players bag skate today after they attempted an aggressive forecheck in practice.

5. Vancouver Canucks - Neither Sedin practiced this morning.  Clearly, they're being traded tonight.

6. Boston Bruins - They're 33-12-2 against teams not from Raleigh, North Carolina.

7. Pittsburgh Penguins - Evgeni Malkin is all well and good, but the Penguins could really use a second line center...

8. San Jose Sharks - The Sharks are hoping that Couture being picked last in the All-Star draft will fuel an epic season from him next year as Kessel has this year.

How are NHL teams preparing for the playoffs?

Pictured: Patrick Kane and sunglasses.  Not pictured: Patrick Kane's playoff beard.  Also not pictured: Peggy.

Now that the NHL All-Star break is behind us, many teams begin their push towards the playoffs.  For many teams, they'll look to add a player or two at the deadline that they hope will push them towards a long playoff run.  For some other teams, they'll look to make a big splash to move up the standings.  For others, they'll try to convince their fan base that they're still in the playoff picture, even though they're not.  Here's a guide I put together regarding how teams are preparing for the playoffs.


Boston Bruins - Claude Julien spends most of practice these days reminding his team that all goaltenders are awful and that they can beat anyone.  Of course, he only does this on days Tim Thomas is boycotting the team's events.

Detroit Red Wings - Ken Holland is spending the next few months trying to convince Gary Bettman that making the Joe Louis Arena the exclusive home for all playoff games this year is a good idea.

New York Rangers - MSG officials have begun playoff preparations by reluctantly cancelling "Stage 2" renovation plans for the arena during the middle of May.

Chicago Blackhawks - The Blackhawks have informed Patrick Kane that every game for the rest of the season will now be referred to as the "All-Star Game," in the hopes of increasing his goal totals.

Vancouver Canucks - Alain Vigneault has told his players that swimming pools are off limits until after the season, because his team has already mastered diving.

Philadelphia Flyers - Ilya Bryzgalov has already begun his pre-playoff ritual, which mainly consists of saying "please don't let us play Detroit in the first round."

2012 NHL All-Star Weekend recap

Patrick Kane doing his best Vancouver Canucks impression.  Something like that.

Another All-Star weekend is in the books.  This year's festivities in Ottawa concluded last night with the All-Star Game exhibition.  Although many hockey fans claim that they don't really care about the All-Star Game, most die-hard hockey fans watch it anyway.  Since you're reading this, you probably watched at least part of the weekend, so here's a recap in case you missed any of it.

• Carey Price knelt in his crease, Tebow-style and then turned his back to the shooter in the breakaway competition.  This is also known as "Steve Mason-syndrome."
   
• Patrick Kane's Superman cape was the highlight of his career, based on goals scored on goalies other than Michael Leighton.
   
• The car Logan Couture won for being picked last in the All-Star draft was the second fastest machine in Ottawa during the weekend to Zdeno Chara's slapshot.
   
• The arena security had trouble identifying Scott Gomez at the gate, so they didn't let him into the building.
   
• The league announced that the 2013 All-Star Game will be held in Columbus, where Jeff Carter will inevitably make his return to Columbus. 

NHL Power Rankings - Week of January 16th, 2012

Well, it's that time of week again.  It's time to randomly shuffle all 30 teams into an order that seems logical in some ways and illogical in other ways.  I like to believe that this isn't random and that it's my DGA NHL Power Rankings.  For last week's rankings, click here.


1. Boston Bruins (--) - Their recent loss to the Hurricanes hurts their chances at scoring double the amount of goals as their opponent this season.  Another 9-0 win this week would get them back on track, though.

2. New York Rangers (--) - Henrik Lundqvist's ability to stop everything makes you wonder if someday, he can stop world poverty and hunger.

3. St. Louis Blues (+2) - Jaroslav Halak's recent shutout of his former team, the Montreal Canadiens, brought memories of his playoff run in Montreal and being a backup goal--...well, I guess some things don't change.

4. Vancouver Canucks (-1) - Only Roberto Luongo could have a puck hit him, roll down every piece of goalie equipment on him and steer itself into the net...

5. Detroit Red Wings (-1) - Jimmy Howard recently won his 100th career game, which isn't that much if you compare him to Chris Osgood, but it does make him the second-best American-born goalkeeper with the last name "Howard" right now.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (+1) - Jonathan Toews recently blinked, but it was only because he saw Patrick Kane only had 10 goals this season and thought he misread something.

7. San Jose Sharks (-1) - Patrick Marleau already has 5 game-winning goals this season, which is kind of a shot to the gut of Jeremy Roenick.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of January 8th, 2012

After a two-week absence, DGA's NHL Power Rankings returns.  A lot has happened since the last edition of power rankings, so I'll start over without considering where teams were before the little break.  Take a look.


1. Boston Bruins - The Bruins are to the rest of the league as Zdeno Chara's height is to every other Bruin.

2. New York Rangers - Since John Tortorella is obsessed with conspiracies recently, maybe it's time to remind everyone how the Rangers cleared cap space for Brad Richards (hint: he's an overpaid defenseman currently in the AHL).

3. Vancouver Canucks - Cory Schneider gets the win in Boston?  Imagine what could have been last June...

4. Detroit Red Wings - Detroit rallied in Toronto on Saturday, but then realized they were on the road.  So they lost.

5. St. Louis Blues - Brian Elliott might be the best goaltender in hockey right now, but he has no chance to be an All-Star, because he is no longer an Ottawa Senator.

6. San Jose Sharks - The Sharks have been rather quiet lately.  Maybe they're trying to draw less attention in the regular season to minimize the impact of their inevitable playoff collapse.

7. Chicago Blackhawks - Pierre McGuire said that Brent Seabrook is the Hawks' versions of Nick Kronwall, although Sea-brook'ed doesn't sound as good as Kron-wall'ed...

Previewing the 2012 NHL Winter Classic

Here's the 2012 Winter Classic logo.  Wait, that's not right...

As the calendar turns from December 2011 to January 2012, the latest edition of the NHL's annual outdoor game, the Winter Classic for those who have never heard of the event, will take place between the Philadelphia Flyers and New York Rangers tomorrow at the Phillies' Citizens Bank Ballpark.  Before the main event, however, let's take a look at some of the recent history of the teams.

• Last year's HBO 24/7 series took us into the life of many Russian superstar players, including one that many people accuse of not always caring about the game.  This year's series showed us a Russian who spends way too much time studying poetry and the universe.
   
• People have been questioning Ilya Bryzgalov's dedication to the team and his game right now.  Then you remember that Alexei Kovalev was once employed by the Rangers...
   
• Each of the previous Winter Classic games have featured exciting young teams that the hockey world has fallen in love with since the lockout.  This year's Classic features a pair of teams that are generally despised in the hockey world.
   

Other celebrities that practiced with an NHL team

Celebrities visiting NHL practices are nothing new, actually.

This week, two major figures in pop culture, Michael Buble and Justin Bieber, practiced with NHL teams: the Canucks and Maple Leafs, respectively.  While I'm not sure if Jake Gardiner personally requested to meet Bieber, I can tell you that celebrities and hockey teams have mixed in the past.  Take a look and you'll see what I mean.


New York Rangers - Some claim he plays hockey professionally, but either way, the New York Rangers have invited fashion superstar Sean Avery to many of their practices.  He's even made it into the Rangers' lineup a few times.


Los Angeles Kings - The Kings reportedly invited Leonardo DiCaprio to one of their practices, however the players and DiCaprio seemed to bond when the topic of never winning a major award was brought up.


Carolina Hurricanes - As training camp began for the Hurricanes last fall, a rumor was floating around the locker room that the Jonas Brothers had been invited to their camp, judging by the spike in teenage girls surrounding the team.  Then Jeff Skinner arrived and it all made sense.


Washington Capitals - President Obama met with the locals, the Washington Capitals recently, since he hasn't met with them over a Stanley Cup celebration.  At the end of the day, most people agreed that Obama and Alexander Semin have something in common: people want them out of town next year.

The NHL's Best Rivalries



Oh oops.  My picture editor forgot this is my rivalries post, not Team Nobody's Ever Heard Of post.

 With tonight being the first meeting of the season between the Devils and Rangers, I thought it would be a good opportunity to highlight some of the other big rivalries in the NHL.  You know, rivalries that have rich histories of playoff battles and brutal moments, many of which date back 30 years or more...or 30 months in the case of Washington and Pittsburgh.


Calgary Flames vs. Vancouver Canucks

• When these teams meet, the Sedin's always ask the Canucks coaching staff who they'll be matched up against.  When the coaches tell the Sedin's they'll be matched up against Calgary's top line, they always draw a blank stare from the Sedin's.
• Roberto Luongo often makes Calgary's top line look better than Vancouver's.

Boston Bruins vs. Montreal Canadiens

• Every rivalry has an "X-factor" to it.  With the B's/Habs rivalry, we know Boston has the size advantage and we know Montreal has the speed advantage.  Montreal also owns the X-factor: the Bell Centre stanchions.
• I wonder if Habs fans realize that the Bruins coach speaks French and the Habs coach doesn't...

Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Boston Bruins

• They say it's a rivalry, but I always thought both teams had to show up for it to be considered a rivalry...
• This rivalry is nothing more than fan hype.  After all, Peter Chiarelli and Brian Burke are always doing each other favors.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 18th, 2011

It's that time of week again.  It's time for DGA's Week 10 NHL Power Rankings.  We saw a lot of offense this week, which means teams are playing more wide open or goaltenders are just awful lately.  I think it's safe to say it's a combination of both.


1. Boston Bruins (+2) - The absence of Gregory Campbell has really hurt the Bruins.  Something like that...

2. Detroit Red Wings (-1) - The Wings' 13-2-1 home record doesn't even account for their absolute demolition of all opponents recently.  If only Shea Weber hadn't happened to them...

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (-1) - Sidney Crosby's time off has allowed him to teach the rest of the team how to score goals.

4. Chicago Blackhawks (+3) - Patrick Kane's shootout goal on Niklas Backstrom was cool and all, but nobody seriously wants a shootout because of that, right?

5. Minnesota Wild (-1) - It's remarkable that the Wild lost in another shootout considering the Islanders don't have Patrick Kane.

6. St. Louis Blues (+2) - Jaroslav Halak must have realized that he's been outplayed by Brian Elliott this season, so he's decided to start playing.

7. New York Rangers (-2) - Brad Richards is the first free agent Glen Sather has ever signed to successfully bindly throw a puck to the net and win a game with 0.1 seconds to go.

8. Florida Panthers (+1) - The Panthers are either really good or the New York Rangers are the only team that takes them seriously.

9. Vancouver Canucks (+2) - The Sedin's are trying to make sure the Canucks will win with any goaltender better than Toskala.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 11th, 2011

It's that time of week again.  It's time for Week 9 of DGA's NHL Power Rankings.  This week features a new #1 and a new #30.  Yeah, be excited.


1. Detroit Red Wings (+1) - Now that's December, the Red Wings have decided to start humiliating their opposition again as a holiday present to their fans.

2. Pittsburgh Penguins (+2) - I was planning a Sidney Crosby joke, but I don't think that's appropriate...

3. Boston Bruins (-2) - Were recently shut out at home by the same Panthers team that allowed 6 goals last night.  Boston is terrible.

4. Minnesota Wild (+1) - Matt Hackett will definitely win Vezina at his current pace.

5. New York Rangers (-1) - Did their best NFC East impression with Artem Anisimov getting an unsportsmanlike penalty on a celebration.

6. Philadelphia Flyers (+1) - Following the concussion he gave Chris Pronger, Chris Pronger has now injured every player in the NHL at least once.

7. Chicago Blackhawks (-1) - I had forgotten about Marian Hossa's existence until very recently.

8. St. Louis Blues (+2) - If they keep winning under Ken Hitchcock, they might accidentally make the playoffs.

9. Florida Panthers (-1) - Getting blown out at MSG last night was only because the coaches had no complaints with this team prior to last night.

10. San Jose Sharks (-1) - Someone tell the Sharks this isn't the playoffs yet...

11. Vancouver Canucks (+4) - Alain Vigneault would normally pull Roberto Luongo after allowing three quick goals, but the Montreal native stayed in the game and his team rallied to win against the Habs.  He's making progress.

12. Dallas Stars (--) - Stars owner Tom Gaglardi says there's a huge fan base in Dallas.  He wouldn't, however, specify which sport he was speaking about.

13. Toronto Maple Leafs (-2) - Time to let Phil Kessel start running the penalty kill...

14. Nashville Predators (+4) - The Preds are coming off of wins against Columbus and Anaheim.  They face Calgary next.  I guess they're enjoying the difficult part of their schedule...

15. Phoenix Coyotes (-1) - Falling behind 5-0 in the first period to the Red Wings isn't part of Dave Tippett's system, is it?

16. Buffalo Sabres (--) - The Sabres are really hurting from Ville Leino's suspension...

17. Washington Capitals (--) - Alex Ovechkin is back to being controversial, and thus, relevant.

18. Montreal Canadiens (+1) - Tomas Kaberle is averaging two points per game with the Habs through...one game.

19. Los Angeles Kings (-6) - As a team, they've collectively scored roughly as many goals as Phil Kessel this season.  I wonder if that'll change under John Stevens...

20. Ottawa Senators (+2) - The Sens have gone from best third period team in the league to back-to-back blown third period leads, kind of like how Milan Michalek went from irrelevant to world-class sniper overnight.

21. Winnipeg Jets (-1) - *Bad Joke of the Week:* The Jets are preparing to celebrate the First Noël.

22. Calgary Flames (+4) - The Flames' recent hot streak, led by........well, I'm sure someone is playing well in Calgary.

23. Colorado Avalanche (-2) - It's a good thing the Avs have so many young forwards who can make the Avs' defense better.

24. Edmonton Oilers (-1) - Andy Sutton received his daily Shanaban today.

25. New Jersey Devils (--) - The Devils have to be considered Stanley Cup contenders with the addition of Kurtis Foster, no?

26. New York Islanders (+1) - The Islanders are picking up points lately, which has Charles Wang furious.

27. Tampa Bay Lightning (-3) - Martin St. Louis snapped his consecutive games played streak at 499.  His shoes are big shoes to fill...although not literally.

28. Columbus Blue Jackets (+2) - Upon Steve Mason's return to the lineup, expect Columbus to fall back to #30 in everyone's power rankings.

29. Carolina Hurricanes (-1) - Tomas Kaberle left town, and somehow, nobody realized it...

30. Anaheim Ducks (-1) - Mark Fraser and Rod Pelley are the best ex-Devils to play in Anaheim since Sheldon Brookbank.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 4th, 2011

By my count, Week 8 of the 2011-12 NHL season is in the books.  Unfortunately, Sidney Crosby did not make another return to the lineup this week.  Instead he stayed in the lineup.  David Perron and Ryan Miller returned to the lineup, though.

1. Boston Bruins (--) - I wonder if Zdeno Chara made Phil Kessel look as helpless as he did in Toronto Saturday back when they were teammates in practice.

2. Detroit Red Wings (--) - While the Wings are washed up, too old, too slow and have too many big contracts, they're also busy being the hottest team in the NHL.

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - When healthy, Pittsburgh's "Big 3" is an unbelievably dynamic trio.  Who knew?

4. New York Rangers (+3) - After many years of failures after signing big ticket free agents, perhaps it's time to realize that Glen Sather got it right with Brad Richards...at least for now.

5. Minnesota Wild (-1) - After backup goaltender Niklas Backstrom was lifted from the game against New Jersey due to injury, Josh Harding shined to steer the Wild to victory.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (--) - To those who may have forgotten, the Blackhawks have Marian Hossa, and he's ridiculously good.

7. Philadelphia Flyers (+2) - The fact that Scott Hartnell plays on one of the best lines in hockey is just weird, but it's true.

8. Florida Panthers (+2) - No Panthers forward even has half of the points as Versteeg, Fleischmann and Weiss do each.

9. San Jose Sharks (-4) - The Sharks have been in three shootouts this season: all wins against Eastern Conference teams.

10. St. Louis Blues (+3) - David Perron scored in his first game back in the NHL after 97 games missed from a concussion.  Didn't someone else pull a similar feat recently?

11. Toronto Maple Leafs (-3) - I wonder if James Reimer will be able to beat the Bruins.  I guess we'll find out in March.

12. Dallas Stars (+5) - The Stars are thankful that Matt Moulson doesn't still play in the Western Conference.

13. Los Angeles Kings (+2) - Dustin Penner is heating up again.  I'm pretty sure he had a few shots on goal this past week.

14. Phoenix Coyotes (-3) - Ilya Bryzgalov left Phoenox thinking "ha, the Coyotes miss me."  The thing is, though, they don't.

15. Vancouver Canucks (-3) - Roberto Luongo came in to relieve Cory Schneider against Nashville.  He eventually collapsed and the Canucks lost late, so order is still restored in the world.

16. Buffalo Sabres (-2) - Terry Pegula will definitely look to acquire a 'tough guy' to be Ryan Miller's personal bodyguard.

17. Washington Capitals (+1) - Dale Hunter was very excited to learn that he'd be coaching such elite players like Jason Chimera in Washington.

18. Nashville Predators (-2) - In their latest attempt to imitate the Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins, the Preds wear gold jerseys and have their players run over Ryan Miller.

19. Montreal Canadiens (+2) - There is something ironic about Max Pacioretty getting suspended for a nasty hit after his experiences from last season.

20. Winnipeg Jets (+3) - Don Cherry predicted the Jets would miss the playoffs.  Winnipeg is determined to prove him wrong just to make him admit he's wrong about something.

21. Colorado Avalanche (+4) - The Avs spent their week learning how to score goals at home, and well, it worked.

22. Ottawa Senators (--) - Isn't it weird that Milan Michalek already has 16 goals, but he's third on his team in points?

23. Edmonton Oilers (+1) - Randy Jones is the latest Oiler to do his Wayne Gretzky impression for a game.

24. Tampa Bay Lightning (-4) - Brad Richards and John Tortorella returned to Tampa Bay this past week.  The team is about as good as after the two of them left.

25. New Jersey Devils (-6) - Martin Brodeur spent his week making sure nobody will ever catch his most losses record.

26. Calgary Flames (--) - Jarome Iginla insists that he wants to win in Calgary.  I guess we'll see if he'll still be playing in 15 years, then.

27. New York Islanders (+1) - Matt Moulson decided he's sick of his team not scoring, so he went a bit insane in Dallas.

28. Carolina Hurricanes (-1) - If Paul Maurice was leaving a note for John MacLean instead of Kirk Muller, you'd think if probably would have read "I already got them a bad record, so you can't really screw up much worse."

29. Anaheim Ducks (--) - After completing an anonymous poll following their first game under Bruce Boudreau, Anaheim players are in agreement that Boudreau is "f$%&ing" awesome.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (--) - Nail Yakupov reportedly owns a blue jacket...not that there's any signifiance to that...

NHL Power Rankings - Week of November 27th, 2011

Here we go: Week 7 of the 2011-12 season and DGA's Week 7 NHL Power Rankings.  Absolutely nothing worthy of discussion happened this week, so let's start.

1. Boston Bruins (+8) - If Tyler Seguin wins the Selke Trophy and Phil Kessel wins the Art Ross, Rocket Richard and Hart Trophy, does that mean the Bruins won the trade by Claude Julien's logic?

2. Detroit Red Wings (+4) - Datsyuk and Zetterberg are back to being their superhuman, partially robotic selves again, thus restoring normalcy to the world.

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - So when does Crosby come back?

4. Minnesota Wild (-3) - They recently signed a 51-year old fan to an amateur contract as an emergency goalie, which is something a franchise such as Philadelphia or the NY Islanders would do.

5. San Jose Sharks (-3) - "The Sharks really miss Dany Heatley." - nobody.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (-2) - "Chelsea Dagger" is the most played song in the city of Chicago.*

*Not confirmed.
7. New York Rangers (--) - Henrik Lundqvist's 37th career shutout (against the Flyers this past Friday) moves him within 79 of Martin Brodeur's shutout record.

8. Toronto Maple Leafs (-3) - Considering that the Leafs sustain more injuries in a week than a dummy at a military target practice, Brian Burke hasn't overreacted and started trading for every player on the market.

9. Philadelphia Flyers (-1) - Paul Holmgren watched as the Wild signed a fan as the emergency goalie and may have gotten some ideas from that.  Maybe that's why the Flyers are holding a goaltending tryout session this week which is open to the public.

10. Florida Panthers (+7) - Jason Garrison has twice as many goals as assists...and he's a defenseman.  Also interesting: his 8 goals in 23 games this season are more than his goal total from his entire 113 previous games combined.

11. Phoenix Coyotes (+4) - The Coyotes will be taking the rejects from the Flyers goalie tryouts and turning them into Vezina candidates.

12. Vancouver Canucks (+6) - Roberto Luongo managed to get his goals against average under 3.00 this week.

13. St. Louis Blues (+6) - Ken Hitchcock has revitalized the Blues thanks to one word: defense.

14. Buffalo Sabres (-4) - Lindy Ruff's Milan Lucic punching bag really fires up the team before every game.

15. Los Angeles Kings (-3) - Perhaps the Kings acquired the wrong Richards last summer.

16. Nashville Predators (-5) - Fact: Pekka Rinne has more assists than Jerred Smithson this season.

17. Dallas Stars (-3) - Well, losing your starting goalie isn't the end of the world.  Look at the Buffalo S...okay never mind.

18. Washington Capitals (-5) - Don't worry, Bruce, Alex Ovechkin and Semin don't hate you enough to torch your car...yet.

19. New Jersey Devils (-3) - The NHL's newest anti-Devils strategy is to wipe out any game-tying goal with under 5 seconds remaining in the third period.

20. Tampa Bay Lightning (--) - Upon asking about acquiring Jonathan Bernier, Steve Yzerman laughed hysterically when Deam Lombardi asked for Victor Hedman, but then realized Lombardi was serious.

21. Montreal Canadiens (+3) - Andrei Markov is almost ready to return to the Habs' lineup, which means they'll have a quality defensemen for about two weeks, before Markov inevitably crashes into the boards and injures himself again.

22. Ottawa Senators (--) - As it turns out, Paul MacLean doesn't suck as much as the last NHL head coach with his last name did.

23. Winnipeg Jets (+2) - Dustin Byfuglien is the best defensemen in the league who never learned to skate backwards.

24. Edmonton Oilers (-3) - Now that Taylor Hall is injured, Steve Tambellini plans to have Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Jordan Eberle scratched in order to restore his annual 1st Overall Draft Pick Party in June.

25. Colorado Avalanche (-2) - That Semyon Varlamov trade probably wasn't the best goaltender acquisition in Avs' history...

26. Calgary Flames (--) - Jarome Iginla is definitely getting traded this year, just as he was last year and just as Brett Favre definitely retired four years ago.

27. Carolina Hurricanes (+1) - Tomas Kaberle is on the trade block...again.  He's bound to draw at least an 8th round pick in return...

28. New York Islanders (+1) - They finally got their first road win of the season, thanks to Michael Grabner's 700 breakaways in two games against the Devils this week.

29. Anaheim Ducks (-2) - Perhaps we have a new Fail for Nail favorite destination?

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (--) - It was tempting to move the Jackets out of 30th this week.

First Quarter NHL Report Cards

Most NHL teams have now completed 20 games of the 2011-12 season, which is the traditional quarter mark of the season.  As usual, the so-called "experts" have been wrong about lots of things during this season and will continue to be wrong as the season moves on, but it's time to give out first quarter grades to some NHL players.  Have a look.


Phil Kessel - Kessel is showing that he's the most offensively gifted player the Leafs have dressed since... (I'm thinking...wait for it...), okay well I'm not that old!  He's the best Leafs player in a long time.
Grade: A+

Alex Ovechkin - Alex has not produced at his typical pace this year, in fact, if this continues, Phil Kessel may want to get his camera out for the All-Star Fantasy Draft in Ottawa.
Grade: C

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins - Calling RNH the best Oilers teenager since Wayne Gretzky is a bit pre-mature.  I mean, let's wait for this kid to establish himself, such as recording his first hat trick or 5-point game or...oh, I see.
Grade: A+

Jonathan Toews - It seems that Toews matures as a player and as a leader every season.  This season, he's learned to score goals at a higher rate and how to apply different facial expressions.
Grade: A

Pavel Datsyuk - It took Red Wings management a few extra weeks to change the batteries on the Datsyukian machine, but now it's fixed and working pretty well.
Grade: B

Brad Richards - Interestingly enough, it didn't take Brad Richards as much time to get used to John Tortorella's tactics and rants the way most new acquisitions do.
Grade: B+

Sidney Crosby - If you think about it, Crosby is off to a tough start this season.  He's only averaging a point per game on the road through one game and if he keeps letting his elbow fly, he'll be on his way to Brendan Shanahan's office.
Grade: A+

Eric Staal - The fact that Staal is suddenly on pace for about 40 points this season, while he's usually around 80, has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he injured his brother.
Grade: D

Dustin Byfuglien - One thing Byfuglien seems to consistently lack from his game as a defenseman is the ability to play defense.
Grade: B-

Ilya Kovalchuk - Kovalchuk loves to be involved with offense when he's on the ice.  Unfortunately, that doesn't necessarily mean he's always helping the Devils do the scoring...
Grade: C-

Corey Perry - Perry insisted that he could improve as a player coming into this season, even after scoring 50 goals last season.  The problem is, other than in penalty minutes, his numbers are down.
Grade: C+

Steven Stamkos - If Stamkos can put up these kinds of offensive numbers under Guy Boucher and the defensive 1-3-1 system, imagine what he could do under Bruce Boudreau...or maybe not.
Grade: A

Nicklas Lidstrom - When defensemen like Lidstrom keep improving every season, you wonder how good he'll be when he reaches the prime of his career.
Grade: A+

Wade Redden - Just 5 assists for Redden this season.  And he's in the minors.
Grade: F (for FAIL)

Rick DiPietro - The Islanders have an injured goalie not named DiPietro.  Jack Capuano's new strategy of only playing him once a month seems to be doing wonders for Rick's health.
Grade: D+