How the West was won: LA Kings 2011-12 timeline

"Careful, Dustin, this rug is awfully slippery. We wouldn't want you to fall so easily."

Last night, the Los Angeles Kings beat the Phoenix Coyotes in overtime to clinch the Western Conference and advance to the franchise's second Stanley Cup Final.  This is good news for us Twitter maniacs, as this means the LA Kings' Twitter account will be busy through the Finals.  So how did this Kings run to the Finals come to be?


June 23rd: Flyers GM Paul Holmgren promises Kings GM Dean Lombardi that trading for Mike Richards would help him land the Richards he really wanted to sign.

June 24th: Mike Richards sends Jeff Carter a sympathy card postmarked Columbus, Ohio.

July 2nd: Brad Richards signs with the Rangers, to nobody's surprise.  Except a very frustrated Dean Lombardi.

July 3rd: Lombardi calls Gary Bettman to see if the NHL has rejected Ilya Kovalchuk's second contract with the Devils yet.

October 7th: The Kings open their season in Sweden (yes, the NHL used to do that...) against the New York Rangers.  Hmm...

October 13th: The Kings play their first game in North America, against the New Jersey Devils.  Hmm...

A fan's guide to dealing with elimination

Pictured: Marc-Andre Fleury's 5-hole in NYC.  Or maybe that's the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel.  They're the same size...

For 29 NHL fan bases every season, dealing with elimination is a reality.  As much as we dread our team's last game of the season, it's very likely going to happen each year.  For some fan bases, that time has already come, and by this time next week, even more fan bases will be left wondering what went wrong.  But cheer up, because I've provided a coping method.  Here's how you deal with elimination and what to do when it happens.



Why did your team get eliminated?
a) Our goaltender's five-hole makes Michael Leighton's five-hole look microscopic.  Plus, we had so many injuries, and we're obviously the only team that had injuries all season and the refs screwed us over like a million times!  The league hates us!  It's a conspiracy!
b) We got trapped!  And that team won't even be in that city next year...
c) We choked because our superstar players disappear in the playoffs every year!
d) We ran into a really good goalie.  Dammit, I'm going to riot now.
e) We actually have no talent, so we didn't expect to go far.


How would you assess your regular season?
a) We had a good year, but we obviously would have been the best team in the league if we had all of our players healthy...
b) Aside from that one time when we lost like a million games in a row and that other time that we blew that lead, it was pretty good.
c) It was so good that our players got so into games that they were helping out from the bench and everything!
d) You know, I think the President's Trophy is prettier than the Stanley Cup, anyway.
e) We were so bad that even I could crack the lineup...

2012 NHL Playoff Bracket

I worked this out several different ways.  Boston-Nashville kept turning out to be the Stanley Cup Finals.

It's mid-April.  The NHL playoffs are about to start, and 16 fan bases are optimistic that this could be their team's year to win the Stanley Cup!  The horrible truth to this is that most of us will be let down and our teams will be knocked out of the playoffs earlier than we had originally hoped.  So now that I've depressed you a bit, it's time for the second installment (here's last year's bracket, in case for some bizarre reason, you'd like to see it) of my playoff bracket.

*All NHL logos were


Eastern Conference (I start with the East because of East Coast Bias)


#1 New York Rangers vs. #8 Ottawa Senators
Series slogan: What goes first?  Paul MacLean's 'stache or John Tortorella's temper?

I'm used to seeing the Rangers in the 1/8 matchup, but not as the #1 seed.  Both of these teams would be considered "over-achievers" this season.  A lot has to go right for Ottawa to win the series, and although I'm not crazy about giving goalies all the credit in the world, but this series will come down to goaltending.  Craig Anderson has seen this before: his Colorado Avalanche were the 8th seed in the spring of 2010, and he stole a pair of games for the Avs before losing in six to San Jose.  This series will be similar, although this Senators team is a much more offensively skilled team.  Ottawa will need to be very patient in this series, because the Rangers not only love to collapse in the neutral zone, but they collapse around the net and will make it difficult for Erik Karlsson and the Sens' defense to get their point shots through to Henrik Lundqvist.  Lundqvist, by the way, had a save percentage of .895 in March and April, so he'll need to be much better than that, or his Rangers could be heading home early again.

My pick: Rangers in 6.
Confidence in my pick: 9/10


#2 Boston Bruins vs. #7 Washington Capitals
Series slogan: Tim Thomas can ship up to Boston, but he'll have to be in the city of the White House too

It's been an inconsistently brilliant season for the defending Stanley Cup champion Boston Bruins, but when they're on, they are the best team in the NHL.  They have a dynamic, yet balanced attack, which compliments Zdeno Chara, the world's best defenseman, and Tim Thomas, an elite NHL goaltender, very well.  The Capitals, meanwhile, had a very disappointing season and almost missed the playoffs, yet here they are, playing very well lately, as they've won four of five games heading into the playoffs.  If they had a consistent and healthy goaltender, I would pick this as the upset, since Washington is far overdue to make a long playoff run, but they don't, so it'll be another early exit for the Caps, even with Nicklas Backstrom healthy.  But hey, at least they fired Bruce Boudreau, riiight?!

My pick: Bruins in 6.
Confidence in my pick: 5/10


#3 Florida Panthers vs. #6 New Jersey Devils
Series slogan: If a playoff series was buried off NBC's networks and nobody saw it, did it really happen?

(I'll have a more detailed preview of this series during the week) It's been a long time coming since the Florida Panthers made the playoffs, but finally, the Panthers are the latest Miami team to take advantage of free agency to improve their team.  And the Panthers didn't sign LeBron James or Jose Reyes, so you don't have to hate on them.  The Panthers have their "Big 3," though, as Fleischmann, Weiss and Versteeg make up a very dangerous scoring line.  Meanwhile, it's been a huge bounce-back season for the Devils under yet another new coach, Pete DeBoer.  They won 48 games and picked up 102 points after missing the playoffs for just the second time in 22 seasons.  The Devils are no longer the old trap Devils, in fact, they're one of the East's most up-tempo and deep offensive teams.  That will be why the Devils win this series.  They have depth, as good of a defense as any New Jersey blue line since the lockout and Martin Brodeur has been playing very well since the All-Star Break.  Plus, DeBoer would love to beat the team that fired him.  If the Devils play a disciplined and smart game, which they'll have to against Florida, this won't be a very long series.

My pick: Devils in 5.
Confidence in my pick: 9/10

How to be a good road fan at an NHL game

 

Yes, it is proven to be more entertaining to be places where you're not wanted.  Just ask Sean Avery.

 Last night, I was a part of the Devils Generals' group that invaded Nassau Coliseum.  As much as Devils fans get annoyed when groups of visiting fans chant for their teams at Prudential Center, our cheers were loud and at times, well, obnoxious.  It got me thinking, how do you be a good road fan when you're on the road with your favorite team?  I've come up with a list of do's and don't's.


DO: Cheer when your team's players step onto the ice for warm-ups.
DON'T: Bang on the glass when Zdeno Chara is nearby, as you might be killed.


DO: Hi-five other fans of your team when you see them walking around the arena.
DON'T: Hi-five Rick DiPietro.  You might break him.


DO: Bring your own food, since the food is probably over-priced at the arena.
DON'T: Bring waffles to the Air Canada Centre.  It just won't end well for you.


DO: Engage in educated hockey conversations with visiting fans.
DON'T: Ask a Penguins fan who their favorite player before 2005 was.  They'll give you a blank stare.


DO: Laugh off home fans who make fun of your team.
DON'T: Tell them that their team sucks, especially if your team is out of the playoffs.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of March 5th, 2012

The regular season is winding down, and at this point, we know most of the teams who will participate in this spring's Stanley Cup playoffs.  We also know that others will hope to land Nail Yakupov in this June's entry draft.  All 30 teams get to be in the power rankings, so here's my top 30.


1. New York Rangers - I can't deny it anymore: the Rangers are the President's Trophy favorites, which by default, means they aren't Stanley Cup favorites.

2. Vancouver Canucks - The Canucks knew Cody Hodgson could never succeed in Vancouver, thus proving that no actual human beings can be superstar scorers in Vancouver.

3. St. Louis Blues - If Jamie Langenbrunner had sustained an injury last season with the Devils, fans probably would have celebrated.

4. Nashville Predators - Pekka Rinne : Vesa Toskala :: Ferrari : Kia

5. Pittsburgh Penguins - Here's a new outlook on the Penguins that nobody has thought of before me: if Sidney Crosby returns this season, the Pens are going to be reeeeally good.

6. Detroit Red Wings - They can't win at home.  Throw in the towel, the season's lost.

7. Chicago Blackhawks - The Hawks have found ways to win without Jonathan Toews.  Hopefully, before they can blink, Toews will be back.  Unless they're waiting for Toews to blink.

8. Philadelphia Flyers - Ilya Bryzgalov shut out the Caps last night.  Michael Leighton could have shut out the Caps last night.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of February 20th, 2012

Today's President's Day and it's only fitting that the team most likely to win the President's Trophy tops my list of NHL teams this week.  I mean, you can't really argue with Detroit.  Ever.


1. Detroit Red Wings - The Wings reportedly thought about losing at home, but they won't until Nicklas Lidstrom retires.  Whoa boy...

2. Vancouver Canucks - They were recently voted the most overrated team by the league's players, including Roberto Luongo.

3. New York Rangers - Ranger fans were chanting "we don't want you!" at Rick Nash last night.  It's okay, they're still learning what it's like to win.

4. Nashville Predators - Something that literally just occured to me: if Rick Nash went to the Preds, would they name the city after him?  Nash-ville?

5. New Jersey Devils - Something that must be considered: is Martin Brodeur just as cool of an old guy as Lidstrom and Selanne?

6. St. Louis Blues - They won a game via shutout recently allowing just 13 shots on goal.  Then again, that's a lot of shots for Minnesota in one game.

7. Pittsburgh Penguins - Evgeni Malkin is not one of the three stars of the week.  It's panic time in Pittsburgh.

8. Boston Bruins - They got shut out by Niklas Backstrom yesterday, but that's okay because they won't run into any other good goalies in the playoffs.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of February 6th, 2012

This week's power rankings are a little late to come out.  First of all, the NFL team which I am devoted to happened to win the Superbowl last night and I doubt anyone would have read a hockey post last night anyway.  So, now that another football season is behind us, it's time for the stretch run this NHL season.  Here's a look at my power rankings for a week, with some very careful and insightful analysis.


1. Detroit Red Wings - The Wings are trying to pretend that Montreal doesn't exist...

2. Nashville Predators - It's early on, but Pekka Rinne is proving the notion that all rich goalies are terrible this season.

3. New York Rangers - The NHL should let the Rangers have two timeouts per game under the condition that John Tortorella can throw two tantrums per game.

4. St. Louis Blues - Ken Hitchcock reportedly had his players bag skate today after they attempted an aggressive forecheck in practice.

5. Vancouver Canucks - Neither Sedin practiced this morning.  Clearly, they're being traded tonight.

6. Boston Bruins - They're 33-12-2 against teams not from Raleigh, North Carolina.

7. Pittsburgh Penguins - Evgeni Malkin is all well and good, but the Penguins could really use a second line center...

8. San Jose Sharks - The Sharks are hoping that Couture being picked last in the All-Star draft will fuel an epic season from him next year as Kessel has this year.

How are NHL teams preparing for the playoffs?

Pictured: Patrick Kane and sunglasses.  Not pictured: Patrick Kane's playoff beard.  Also not pictured: Peggy.

Now that the NHL All-Star break is behind us, many teams begin their push towards the playoffs.  For many teams, they'll look to add a player or two at the deadline that they hope will push them towards a long playoff run.  For some other teams, they'll look to make a big splash to move up the standings.  For others, they'll try to convince their fan base that they're still in the playoff picture, even though they're not.  Here's a guide I put together regarding how teams are preparing for the playoffs.


Boston Bruins - Claude Julien spends most of practice these days reminding his team that all goaltenders are awful and that they can beat anyone.  Of course, he only does this on days Tim Thomas is boycotting the team's events.

Detroit Red Wings - Ken Holland is spending the next few months trying to convince Gary Bettman that making the Joe Louis Arena the exclusive home for all playoff games this year is a good idea.

New York Rangers - MSG officials have begun playoff preparations by reluctantly cancelling "Stage 2" renovation plans for the arena during the middle of May.

Chicago Blackhawks - The Blackhawks have informed Patrick Kane that every game for the rest of the season will now be referred to as the "All-Star Game," in the hopes of increasing his goal totals.

Vancouver Canucks - Alain Vigneault has told his players that swimming pools are off limits until after the season, because his team has already mastered diving.

Philadelphia Flyers - Ilya Bryzgalov has already begun his pre-playoff ritual, which mainly consists of saying "please don't let us play Detroit in the first round."

Players who may be on the move

No, sorry, Tomas Kaberle has already been traded this season.
(By the way, he isn't about to take a shot in this picture.  That would be weird.)

It's that time of year again: NHL trade rumor time.  It's the stretch around the All-Star break when the media and fans (well, mostly fans) start coming up with trade rumors for every team in the NHL.  Who stays?  Who goes?  Who comes in?  I've piled up some of the rumors I've heard and included my take on each possible trade senario.  Take a look.


Luke Schenn to the Flyers for James van Riemsdyk - This trade absolutely makes sense.  Brian Burke gets another American player on the Leafs and the Flyers get a defenseman to threaten the opposition if they take a shot on Ilya Bryzgalov, so it helps their goaltending situation.


Bobby Ryan to the Rangers - Early in the season, this was the hottest rumor in hockey.  How did this trade break down?  Did Anaheim balk or did Glen Sather think Bobby Ryan was too under-paid to be a New York Ranger?


Jarome Iginla to the Penguins - Everyone in Calgary says Jarome Iginla is staying in Calgary.  That's exactly why everyone outside of Calgary is speculating that Pittsburgh will trade for him.  Plus, nobody wants to see him in Pittsburgh because he'd inevitably end up on I.R. a week later.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of January 16th, 2012

Well, it's that time of week again.  It's time to randomly shuffle all 30 teams into an order that seems logical in some ways and illogical in other ways.  I like to believe that this isn't random and that it's my DGA NHL Power Rankings.  For last week's rankings, click here.


1. Boston Bruins (--) - Their recent loss to the Hurricanes hurts their chances at scoring double the amount of goals as their opponent this season.  Another 9-0 win this week would get them back on track, though.

2. New York Rangers (--) - Henrik Lundqvist's ability to stop everything makes you wonder if someday, he can stop world poverty and hunger.

3. St. Louis Blues (+2) - Jaroslav Halak's recent shutout of his former team, the Montreal Canadiens, brought memories of his playoff run in Montreal and being a backup goal--...well, I guess some things don't change.

4. Vancouver Canucks (-1) - Only Roberto Luongo could have a puck hit him, roll down every piece of goalie equipment on him and steer itself into the net...

5. Detroit Red Wings (-1) - Jimmy Howard recently won his 100th career game, which isn't that much if you compare him to Chris Osgood, but it does make him the second-best American-born goalkeeper with the last name "Howard" right now.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (+1) - Jonathan Toews recently blinked, but it was only because he saw Patrick Kane only had 10 goals this season and thought he misread something.

7. San Jose Sharks (-1) - Patrick Marleau already has 5 game-winning goals this season, which is kind of a shot to the gut of Jeremy Roenick.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of January 8th, 2012

After a two-week absence, DGA's NHL Power Rankings returns.  A lot has happened since the last edition of power rankings, so I'll start over without considering where teams were before the little break.  Take a look.


1. Boston Bruins - The Bruins are to the rest of the league as Zdeno Chara's height is to every other Bruin.

2. New York Rangers - Since John Tortorella is obsessed with conspiracies recently, maybe it's time to remind everyone how the Rangers cleared cap space for Brad Richards (hint: he's an overpaid defenseman currently in the AHL).

3. Vancouver Canucks - Cory Schneider gets the win in Boston?  Imagine what could have been last June...

4. Detroit Red Wings - Detroit rallied in Toronto on Saturday, but then realized they were on the road.  So they lost.

5. St. Louis Blues - Brian Elliott might be the best goaltender in hockey right now, but he has no chance to be an All-Star, because he is no longer an Ottawa Senator.

6. San Jose Sharks - The Sharks have been rather quiet lately.  Maybe they're trying to draw less attention in the regular season to minimize the impact of their inevitable playoff collapse.

7. Chicago Blackhawks - Pierre McGuire said that Brent Seabrook is the Hawks' versions of Nick Kronwall, although Sea-brook'ed doesn't sound as good as Kron-wall'ed...

Other celebrities that practiced with an NHL team

Celebrities visiting NHL practices are nothing new, actually.

This week, two major figures in pop culture, Michael Buble and Justin Bieber, practiced with NHL teams: the Canucks and Maple Leafs, respectively.  While I'm not sure if Jake Gardiner personally requested to meet Bieber, I can tell you that celebrities and hockey teams have mixed in the past.  Take a look and you'll see what I mean.


New York Rangers - Some claim he plays hockey professionally, but either way, the New York Rangers have invited fashion superstar Sean Avery to many of their practices.  He's even made it into the Rangers' lineup a few times.


Los Angeles Kings - The Kings reportedly invited Leonardo DiCaprio to one of their practices, however the players and DiCaprio seemed to bond when the topic of never winning a major award was brought up.


Carolina Hurricanes - As training camp began for the Hurricanes last fall, a rumor was floating around the locker room that the Jonas Brothers had been invited to their camp, judging by the spike in teenage girls surrounding the team.  Then Jeff Skinner arrived and it all made sense.


Washington Capitals - President Obama met with the locals, the Washington Capitals recently, since he hasn't met with them over a Stanley Cup celebration.  At the end of the day, most people agreed that Obama and Alexander Semin have something in common: people want them out of town next year.

The NHL's Best Rivalries



Oh oops.  My picture editor forgot this is my rivalries post, not Team Nobody's Ever Heard Of post.

 With tonight being the first meeting of the season between the Devils and Rangers, I thought it would be a good opportunity to highlight some of the other big rivalries in the NHL.  You know, rivalries that have rich histories of playoff battles and brutal moments, many of which date back 30 years or more...or 30 months in the case of Washington and Pittsburgh.


Calgary Flames vs. Vancouver Canucks

• When these teams meet, the Sedin's always ask the Canucks coaching staff who they'll be matched up against.  When the coaches tell the Sedin's they'll be matched up against Calgary's top line, they always draw a blank stare from the Sedin's.
• Roberto Luongo often makes Calgary's top line look better than Vancouver's.

Boston Bruins vs. Montreal Canadiens

• Every rivalry has an "X-factor" to it.  With the B's/Habs rivalry, we know Boston has the size advantage and we know Montreal has the speed advantage.  Montreal also owns the X-factor: the Bell Centre stanchions.
• I wonder if Habs fans realize that the Bruins coach speaks French and the Habs coach doesn't...

Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Boston Bruins

• They say it's a rivalry, but I always thought both teams had to show up for it to be considered a rivalry...
• This rivalry is nothing more than fan hype.  After all, Peter Chiarelli and Brian Burke are always doing each other favors.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 18th, 2011

It's that time of week again.  It's time for DGA's Week 10 NHL Power Rankings.  We saw a lot of offense this week, which means teams are playing more wide open or goaltenders are just awful lately.  I think it's safe to say it's a combination of both.


1. Boston Bruins (+2) - The absence of Gregory Campbell has really hurt the Bruins.  Something like that...

2. Detroit Red Wings (-1) - The Wings' 13-2-1 home record doesn't even account for their absolute demolition of all opponents recently.  If only Shea Weber hadn't happened to them...

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (-1) - Sidney Crosby's time off has allowed him to teach the rest of the team how to score goals.

4. Chicago Blackhawks (+3) - Patrick Kane's shootout goal on Niklas Backstrom was cool and all, but nobody seriously wants a shootout because of that, right?

5. Minnesota Wild (-1) - It's remarkable that the Wild lost in another shootout considering the Islanders don't have Patrick Kane.

6. St. Louis Blues (+2) - Jaroslav Halak must have realized that he's been outplayed by Brian Elliott this season, so he's decided to start playing.

7. New York Rangers (-2) - Brad Richards is the first free agent Glen Sather has ever signed to successfully bindly throw a puck to the net and win a game with 0.1 seconds to go.

8. Florida Panthers (+1) - The Panthers are either really good or the New York Rangers are the only team that takes them seriously.

9. Vancouver Canucks (+2) - The Sedin's are trying to make sure the Canucks will win with any goaltender better than Toskala.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 11th, 2011

It's that time of week again.  It's time for Week 9 of DGA's NHL Power Rankings.  This week features a new #1 and a new #30.  Yeah, be excited.


1. Detroit Red Wings (+1) - Now that's December, the Red Wings have decided to start humiliating their opposition again as a holiday present to their fans.

2. Pittsburgh Penguins (+2) - I was planning a Sidney Crosby joke, but I don't think that's appropriate...

3. Boston Bruins (-2) - Were recently shut out at home by the same Panthers team that allowed 6 goals last night.  Boston is terrible.

4. Minnesota Wild (+1) - Matt Hackett will definitely win Vezina at his current pace.

5. New York Rangers (-1) - Did their best NFC East impression with Artem Anisimov getting an unsportsmanlike penalty on a celebration.

6. Philadelphia Flyers (+1) - Following the concussion he gave Chris Pronger, Chris Pronger has now injured every player in the NHL at least once.

7. Chicago Blackhawks (-1) - I had forgotten about Marian Hossa's existence until very recently.

8. St. Louis Blues (+2) - If they keep winning under Ken Hitchcock, they might accidentally make the playoffs.

9. Florida Panthers (-1) - Getting blown out at MSG last night was only because the coaches had no complaints with this team prior to last night.

10. San Jose Sharks (-1) - Someone tell the Sharks this isn't the playoffs yet...

11. Vancouver Canucks (+4) - Alain Vigneault would normally pull Roberto Luongo after allowing three quick goals, but the Montreal native stayed in the game and his team rallied to win against the Habs.  He's making progress.

12. Dallas Stars (--) - Stars owner Tom Gaglardi says there's a huge fan base in Dallas.  He wouldn't, however, specify which sport he was speaking about.

13. Toronto Maple Leafs (-2) - Time to let Phil Kessel start running the penalty kill...

14. Nashville Predators (+4) - The Preds are coming off of wins against Columbus and Anaheim.  They face Calgary next.  I guess they're enjoying the difficult part of their schedule...

15. Phoenix Coyotes (-1) - Falling behind 5-0 in the first period to the Red Wings isn't part of Dave Tippett's system, is it?

16. Buffalo Sabres (--) - The Sabres are really hurting from Ville Leino's suspension...

17. Washington Capitals (--) - Alex Ovechkin is back to being controversial, and thus, relevant.

18. Montreal Canadiens (+1) - Tomas Kaberle is averaging two points per game with the Habs through...one game.

19. Los Angeles Kings (-6) - As a team, they've collectively scored roughly as many goals as Phil Kessel this season.  I wonder if that'll change under John Stevens...

20. Ottawa Senators (+2) - The Sens have gone from best third period team in the league to back-to-back blown third period leads, kind of like how Milan Michalek went from irrelevant to world-class sniper overnight.

21. Winnipeg Jets (-1) - *Bad Joke of the Week:* The Jets are preparing to celebrate the First Noël.

22. Calgary Flames (+4) - The Flames' recent hot streak, led by........well, I'm sure someone is playing well in Calgary.

23. Colorado Avalanche (-2) - It's a good thing the Avs have so many young forwards who can make the Avs' defense better.

24. Edmonton Oilers (-1) - Andy Sutton received his daily Shanaban today.

25. New Jersey Devils (--) - The Devils have to be considered Stanley Cup contenders with the addition of Kurtis Foster, no?

26. New York Islanders (+1) - The Islanders are picking up points lately, which has Charles Wang furious.

27. Tampa Bay Lightning (-3) - Martin St. Louis snapped his consecutive games played streak at 499.  His shoes are big shoes to fill...although not literally.

28. Columbus Blue Jackets (+2) - Upon Steve Mason's return to the lineup, expect Columbus to fall back to #30 in everyone's power rankings.

29. Carolina Hurricanes (-1) - Tomas Kaberle left town, and somehow, nobody realized it...

30. Anaheim Ducks (-1) - Mark Fraser and Rod Pelley are the best ex-Devils to play in Anaheim since Sheldon Brookbank.

Inside a night at the NHL War Room

Alex Semin would make a decent NHL official, considering he's always asleep on the job.

In the wake of a number of questionable reviewed goal calls throughout the NHL recently, I began to wonder to myself what exactly goes in in the War Room on game nights?  My question soon became an answer, as I once again swiped Down Goes Brown and Down Goes Spezza's "Super Spies" for the day and had them find out for me.  Here's what I found.

6:57 PM - The officials all arrive at the War Room, running late of course.  Gary Bettman yells at someone for wearing a Caps hat.

6:58 PM - After ten seconds of technical difficulty, one of the officials says "screw it," turns off his assigned monitor and logs onto ESPN.com's box score for the Islanders-Devils game he's been assigned from his Smartphone.

6:59 PM - Most other officials do the same.  Gary Bettman opens an apparent closet door that turns out to be a massive flat-screen high-definition TV for the Penguins game.

7:00 PM - Some guys who speak French come into the room, but despite claims that they're here to work the Habs game so Montreal can get fair officiating with people who speak French, Bettman kicks them out.

7:02 PM - The guy assigned to the Vancouver Canucks game walks in, saying he had just spoken with some angry French guys.  Riots break out in the parking lot.

7:07 PM - The Penguins game gets under way after a slight delay as Sidney Crosby's phone went off following a "good luck" text from Bettman.

7:08 PM - Similarly, Gregory Campbell checks his phone and views a text from Colin Campbell.  Gregory is issued a minor penalty for delay of game.  Colin Campbell sits helpless in Brendan Shanahan's office, hand-cuffed behind his desk.

7:13 PM - After five uneventful minutes, Gary Bettman falls asleep.

7:14 PM - Bettman is startled awake by the Penguins goal horn...but wait!  The goal is under review.

7:15 PM - Bettman decides the goal looks good.  After awarding Pittsburgh of a goal, some Rangers players become upset, and they are penalized accordingly for caring.

7:39 PM - Brendan Shanahan is called into the War Room due to a questionable hit.  He immediately shows the footage to Colin Campbell.  Campbell recommends no suspension.  Shanahan thanks Campbell for the advice and begins his explaination video, deciding on a 5-game suspension.

8:05 PM - Another goal is under review on a Versus game, but the arena's referees can't get in touch with the War Room, because they have the National Anthem from the United Center on the big screen with the volume on maximum.

8:08 PM - After several tries of calling the War Room, the goal is waved off, as the league requested lower scoring games to annoy the Versus network.

8:23 PM - There's another goal under review!  This one is between the Predators and Coyotes.  The War Room officials scramble around, but can't find any video footage from the game.  They resort to the ESPN.com box score.  No goal.

8:25 PM - Bettman becomes bored and orders a pizza.

8:46 PM - Bettman's pizza is delivered by a guy wearing a Canadiens t-shirt.  Bettman slaps him and the man leaves.

9:07 PM - Most early games are entering the third period, so it's time to focus to make sure no calls are missed.  All officials refresh their box scores.

9:10 PM - The Montreal Police call Bettman to inform him that they are investigating his hit on the pizza delivery guy.

9:26 PM - There's a goal under review in New Jersey!  The Devils have tied the game with two seconds remaining!  Officials immediately call in a Photoshop expert to edit the image so it looks like Zach Parise has kicked the puck in.  No goal.  Devils lose.

9:34 PM - Following the conclusion of the Penguins game, officials review each Pittsburgh goal and decide since Sidney Crosby was on the ice for one of their goals, he is awarded an assist.

9:47 PM - Lou Lamoriello calls Bettman to appeal his decision of no-goal, but Bettman fines him and threatens to take draft picks from the Devils.

10:21 PM - Officials are reviewing how a puck got past Roberto Luongo, but everyone is genuinly confused.  The goal stands, though, despite not knowing how it is physically possible to allow such a goal.

11:43 PM - A tired Gary Bettman heads out for the night, bringing an angry Colin Campbell with him.

12:23 AM - All games have concluded.  Officials turn off all War Room phones to block angry complaining callers.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 4th, 2011

By my count, Week 8 of the 2011-12 NHL season is in the books.  Unfortunately, Sidney Crosby did not make another return to the lineup this week.  Instead he stayed in the lineup.  David Perron and Ryan Miller returned to the lineup, though.

1. Boston Bruins (--) - I wonder if Zdeno Chara made Phil Kessel look as helpless as he did in Toronto Saturday back when they were teammates in practice.

2. Detroit Red Wings (--) - While the Wings are washed up, too old, too slow and have too many big contracts, they're also busy being the hottest team in the NHL.

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - When healthy, Pittsburgh's "Big 3" is an unbelievably dynamic trio.  Who knew?

4. New York Rangers (+3) - After many years of failures after signing big ticket free agents, perhaps it's time to realize that Glen Sather got it right with Brad Richards...at least for now.

5. Minnesota Wild (-1) - After backup goaltender Niklas Backstrom was lifted from the game against New Jersey due to injury, Josh Harding shined to steer the Wild to victory.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (--) - To those who may have forgotten, the Blackhawks have Marian Hossa, and he's ridiculously good.

7. Philadelphia Flyers (+2) - The fact that Scott Hartnell plays on one of the best lines in hockey is just weird, but it's true.

8. Florida Panthers (+2) - No Panthers forward even has half of the points as Versteeg, Fleischmann and Weiss do each.

9. San Jose Sharks (-4) - The Sharks have been in three shootouts this season: all wins against Eastern Conference teams.

10. St. Louis Blues (+3) - David Perron scored in his first game back in the NHL after 97 games missed from a concussion.  Didn't someone else pull a similar feat recently?

11. Toronto Maple Leafs (-3) - I wonder if James Reimer will be able to beat the Bruins.  I guess we'll find out in March.

12. Dallas Stars (+5) - The Stars are thankful that Matt Moulson doesn't still play in the Western Conference.

13. Los Angeles Kings (+2) - Dustin Penner is heating up again.  I'm pretty sure he had a few shots on goal this past week.

14. Phoenix Coyotes (-3) - Ilya Bryzgalov left Phoenox thinking "ha, the Coyotes miss me."  The thing is, though, they don't.

15. Vancouver Canucks (-3) - Roberto Luongo came in to relieve Cory Schneider against Nashville.  He eventually collapsed and the Canucks lost late, so order is still restored in the world.

16. Buffalo Sabres (-2) - Terry Pegula will definitely look to acquire a 'tough guy' to be Ryan Miller's personal bodyguard.

17. Washington Capitals (+1) - Dale Hunter was very excited to learn that he'd be coaching such elite players like Jason Chimera in Washington.

18. Nashville Predators (-2) - In their latest attempt to imitate the Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins, the Preds wear gold jerseys and have their players run over Ryan Miller.

19. Montreal Canadiens (+2) - There is something ironic about Max Pacioretty getting suspended for a nasty hit after his experiences from last season.

20. Winnipeg Jets (+3) - Don Cherry predicted the Jets would miss the playoffs.  Winnipeg is determined to prove him wrong just to make him admit he's wrong about something.

21. Colorado Avalanche (+4) - The Avs spent their week learning how to score goals at home, and well, it worked.

22. Ottawa Senators (--) - Isn't it weird that Milan Michalek already has 16 goals, but he's third on his team in points?

23. Edmonton Oilers (+1) - Randy Jones is the latest Oiler to do his Wayne Gretzky impression for a game.

24. Tampa Bay Lightning (-4) - Brad Richards and John Tortorella returned to Tampa Bay this past week.  The team is about as good as after the two of them left.

25. New Jersey Devils (-6) - Martin Brodeur spent his week making sure nobody will ever catch his most losses record.

26. Calgary Flames (--) - Jarome Iginla insists that he wants to win in Calgary.  I guess we'll see if he'll still be playing in 15 years, then.

27. New York Islanders (+1) - Matt Moulson decided he's sick of his team not scoring, so he went a bit insane in Dallas.

28. Carolina Hurricanes (-1) - If Paul Maurice was leaving a note for John MacLean instead of Kirk Muller, you'd think if probably would have read "I already got them a bad record, so you can't really screw up much worse."

29. Anaheim Ducks (--) - After completing an anonymous poll following their first game under Bruce Boudreau, Anaheim players are in agreement that Boudreau is "f$%&ing" awesome.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (--) - Nail Yakupov reportedly owns a blue jacket...not that there's any signifiance to that...

How the NHL can prevent shootouts

This week marked the 1,000th shootout in NHL history, which seems like a lot of shootouts, considering the format was established in the fall of 2005.  For some people, a skills competition is not a fair way to decide the outcome of a regular season game, but what can be done to avoid shootouts?  I've come up with a list of ways teams can prevent shootouts.


Washington Capitals - Tell Alex Ovechkin and Semin that Bruce Boudreau has indeed been fired and that it's okay if they start playing and scoring goals again.

Vancouver Canucks - In a tie game at any time, insert Roberto Luongo between the pipes.  *Note: this does not work well if the Canucks plan on winning the game.

Nashville Predators - At the end of overtime, all Predators players should just leave the ice, because they've already lost the game.

Toronto Maple Leafs - Host Kyle Wellwood Night at the Air Canada Centre when the Leafs play Winnipeg and invite the Leafs fan who threw waffles onto the ice last season back and bring a bunch of friends.

Montreal Canadiens - Request that the NHL make a rule that anyone shorter than 5'10" not be eligible for the shootout.  The Habs would be forced to forfeit, by default.

Pittsburgh Penguins - Have Sidney Crosby ask the refs to keep overtime going.

Dallas Stars - Scratch Mike Ribeiro.

Tampa Bay Lightning - Tell Steven Stamkos he's taking a penalty shot.

Boston Bruins - If Tuukka Rask is playing, ask him how he liked shootouts when he was in Providence with the AHL Bruins.

New York Rangers - Tell Brandon Dubinsky that Jody Shelley likes shootouts.  Dubinsky will then refer to shootouts as "idiotic."

New Jersey Devils - Ask Ilya Kovalchuk if he remembers scoring on Ryan Miller in a shootout last season.

Detroit Red Wings - Automatically disqualify Pavel Datsyuk.

Buffalo Sabres - Have Milan Lucic start every shootout when the Bruins play Buffalo.

Colorado Avalanche - Tell the officials that the Avs will blast their goal horn upon each shootout goal scored.

New York Islanders - Tell fans that they'll be charged double for the game if it gets to a shootout because that's how long it would take for someone on the Isles to score.  Or maybe they do that already...

Columbus Blue Jackets - Inform Jeff Carter that scoring a shootout goal will activate a full no-movement clause on his contract.

Philadelphia Flyers - Any Flyers player that scores in the shootout will be first in line to be traded to Columbus.

The next HHOF members

Tonight, Ed Belfour, Doug Gilmour, Mark Howe and Joe Nieuwendyk will be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto.  All of them had admirable playing careers, and deserve their play among hockey's immortals, but there are more guys who people are excited about getting into the Hall of Fame eventually.  Here's a preview of who might be Hall of Fame bound soon.


Richard Matvichuk - Not only did he win a Stanley Cup with Dallas in 1999, but he was also Lou Lamoriello's salary cap relief when the Devils buried him in the minors in 2007.  Players who are involved with the Devils' salary cap problems are usually star players.

Trevor Linden - Sure, he's known as one of the great Canucks of all-time, but Linden was more than just goal scoring for Vancouver: he almost made the yellow and black "V" jerseys enjoyable to watch on the ice.  The key word there is "almost."

Derian Hatcher - He would have been the greatest NHL bad boy to have never played for the Flyers, but the Flyers made sure that didn't happen, so they signed him late in his career.

Pat Burns - He obviously wouldn't go in as a player, but Scott Stevens is prepared to knock out a voter who doesn't vote Burns into the Hall of Fame, and he's also prepared to say "You're next" to any other voter who isn't convinced after that.

Brendan Shanahan - He's not eligible for the Hall of Fame yet, but he's pretty sure he can pull some strings with the NHL to change that.

Wayne Gretzky - Even though he's in the Hall of Fame, some people think he should go in again since he put up so many more points than anyone else.

Dave Andreychuk - Following his retirement as a player, he was named "Vice-President in charge of fans."  It's too bad the Vancouver Canucks don't have someone like that.  He would be been quite useful last June.

Peter Forsberg - Many people think Forsberg will eventually get into the Hall of Fame, but others are worried that he might injure himself on his way to Toronto.

Nicklas Lidstrom - He'll get into the Hall of Fame someday, barring he ever actually retires.

Eric Lindros - He's one of many NHL veterans who ended up with the Rangers late in his career, and most of them are Hall of Fame bound.

Adam Oates - Only three players in NHL history have reached 100 assists in a single season, and Oates wasn't one of them.  He did come close on many occasions and has won the most of playoff games of any player to never win a Stanley Cup.  If he doesn't get into the Hall of Fame, perhaps it's because he coaches the Devils power play...

Jaromir Jagr - He's almost Hall of Fame eligible, since he hasn't played in......oh, he's back in the NHL?

Dominek Hasek - Assuming he doesn't return to the NHL, he should be a lock for the Hall of Fame.  After all, the NHL does love those guys who helped lower scoring throughout the league.

Claude Lemieux - His four Stanley Cups and clutch goal scoring could get him inducted into the Hall of Fame someday, unless the voting panel is made up entirely of Red Wings fans.

Pavel Bure - While he never won a Stanley Cup (which makes sense when you consider he played for Vancouver, Florida and the NY Rangers), he did help the Florida Panthers reach the Stanley Cup Finals, which is as remarkable as Roberto Luongo winning a playoff game at the United Center.

Alexander Mogilny - He's hockey's original Alexander the Great, but also the last Russian superstar winger traded to New Jersey that had a great deal of success.

How to tell if your team has a goaltending problem

For obvious reasons, last night's 17 goal shootout in Philadelphia raised more questions about the Flyers' goaltending situation.  That seems to be a common theme and Flyers tradition over the past decades.  But it isn't only the Flyers who have goaltending issues.  Check out this helpful guide to see if your team is facing goaltending issues.


No Problem - Your team's starting goalie has developed a creative dance that he performs at the end of every victory.
Problem - Your team's starting goalie has apparently forgot the dance because he can't use it.

No problem - Your team's goalie uses pads as massive as Henrik Lundqvist...or your team's starting goalie is Henrik Lundqvist.
Problem - Your team's "starting" goalie seems alarmed when the siren sounds to end a period, since he usually doesn't make it to the end of a period.

No problem - Your general manager signed a goaltender to a cheap contract because he wants to win a Stanley Cup, even though nobody else on your team wants to win the Cup.
Problem - Your team's goaltender drives a Ferrari and likes to race through the desert.

No problem - Martin Brodeur recently asked your team's goalie to borrow his pads.
Problem - That goalie becomes a free agent soon, and judging by your team's track record with goalies, that isn't a good thing.

No problem - Your team's goalie has won a pair of Vezina trophies over the past three seasons.
Problem - Your team's goalie has won a pair of Vezina's, but refuses to score goals to support him.

No problem - It's July and your team's general manager just signed a star goaltender to a long contract.
Problem - It's October, and that same goaltender somehow got lost in the woods.

No problem - Your team is coached by Dave Tippett.
Problem - If your team is coached by Dave Tippett, you have other things to worry about than goaltending.

No problem - When asked about his team's goaltending situation, your team's general manager simply replies "status quo."
Problem - Your team's head coach says "we need to start playing as well as the Senators," and he means it.

No problem - Your team has a goalie named Jonathan, and another named Jonathan to back him up.
Problem - Your opponent fires their assistant coach and has their captain steamroll goalies.

No problem - You have Nicklas Lidstrom on your team.
Problem - You have Brett Lebda on your team.

Problem - Your team's goaltender has ever heard of the Flyers.
Even worse problem - Your team's goaltender is under contract for the better part of the decade with the Canucks.
Worst problem of them all - Your team's goaltender has a contract for this decade and part of the next with the Islanders.