Devils' 2012 off-season spotlight: Alexander Semin

Well, the dust has cleared.  Zach Parise is in the past, as far as Devils fans are concerned, and it's time to move on.  Unfortunately, timing was awful for the Devils this summer.  Their star captain hit the free agent market, and the free agent market itself was extremely thin, thus inflating the demand for those players and driving their prices up.  Add to that the Devils' financial problems and the potential for a lockout in the fall and this was a disaster waiting to happen.  There really aren't any high-end players who can make a difference in the NHL next season left on the free agent market...except for one: Alexander Semin.

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of bringing Alexander Semin to New Jersey (not that it's my call, but you get the point).  First of all, there are two alternatives if the Devils don't sign him: do nothing and hope for the best next season before hoping to cash in on the 2013 free agent group or make a trade for Bobby Ryan or Rick Nash, which would cost the Devils trade assets that they really don't have, such as young forwards (which is already a scarcity) and first round draft picks (the Devils will have to give theirs up in 2013 or 2014).

So that leaves the Devils with two realistic choices: Semin or nobody.  Now, Semin is always associated with two things: awful jokes regarding his last name and lackadaisical on-ice play.  There's not much anyone can do about the first one, but hopefully a few facts will change your mind about the second part.

How the Devils are preparing for the Eastern Conference Finals

Despite beating the Flyers in 5, Pete DeBoer knows he failed as a coach by letting Zac Rinaldo escape the series uninjured.

The annoying part about winning a short series is waiting to find out who your next opponent will be.  The Kings, Coyotes and Devils have advanced to the Conference Finals, but the Rangers and Capitals are still battling out their series, as Game 7 will be Saturday night.  The Devils have already begun preparing for the Eastern Conference Finals, despite not knowing who they'll be playing.  So what exactly are they doing?


David Clarkson - He's decided that if scoring goals while skating right in front of the goaltender when he is trying to clear puck doesn't work, he'll screen the goaltender and wave his stick in the air like an idiot.  Or did the league outlaw that?

Ilya Kovalchuk - After all the times he helped the red light go on behind Ilya Bryzgalov, he's forced Bryzgalov into a habit of flopping and throwing his hands up every time he drives up to a red traffic light.

Anton Volchenkov - Since he can't practice due to injury, he sends Brayden Schenn a get well soon postcard.  Every day.

Ryan Carter - Purchased a New York Rangers inflatable punching bag and drew a #41 "Bickel" on the back.

Zach Parise - Has been looking at real estate in northern New Jersey, because apparently the Devils winning probably bodes decently as far as Parise's future in New Jersey.

Lou Lamoriello - He's working very hard to inform the media of various Devils injuries.  Marek Zidlicky is "day-to-day with an undisclosed injury."

Biggest surprises in the 2012 playoffs (so far)

A collection of objects that went through Ilya Bryzgalov's five-hole this month.

The 2012 Stanley Cup playoffs turned four weeks old this past Wednesday, and by now, most people's brackets have been ruined.  Things haven't exactly gone as 'experts' thought they would to this point, but there have been more surprises than just which teams are still playing.  Here's what I mean.

• Jeremy Roenick called out several Russian players in the playoffs this season.  None of them were his ex-teammates in San Jose.
   
• After beating the Bruins in Game 7, Caps GM George McPhee said he might break the team's tradition of trading away their best goalie after flopping in the playoffs.
   
• Jamie Langenbrunner's team is on the brink of being bounced out of the playoffs in the second round.  The real surprise is that Jamie Langenbrunner's team hasn't been bounced out already.
   
• It's surprising that with all the bad shots Michael Yormark took at Devils fans that none of them went through Ilya Bryzgalov's five-hole.
   
• Tyler Seguin's popularity among females is gaining on Justin Bieber's.

Biggest stories heading into the playoffs



"Alexander, how does it feel to replace Carrie Underwood as the face of the Predators?"

 Well, it's been another entertaining season of NHL hockey (except in New Jersey, since by definition, hockey in New Jersey has to be boring.  Even if that means Ilya Kovalchuk and Zach Parise are classified as boring players.), which means the playoffs are just around the corner for the top eight teams from each conference.  We've seen a lot of interesting things this season, so here's a look at the top stories going into the playoffs.


Ottawa doesn't suck - Despite every single 'hockey expert,' plus Damien Cox, predicting the Senators to finish dead last in the Eastern Conference this season, they're a playoff team and might even finish as high as 2nd in the conference.  Yet management claims that their success this season has nothing to do with the fact that they threatened to trade the team's worst player to Edmonton at the end of the season.  Weird.


Radulov's back - After completing his fourth straight season in Russia's KHL, Alexander Radulov decided it was time to return to the NHL and the Nashville Predators.  This fulfills Caps' general manager George McPhee's bold prediction that 'Alexander will definitely be ready for the playoffs by the end of March.'


Florida Panthers are back in the playoffs - They haven't officially clinched a playoff berth yet, but barring a historic collapse, the Panthers will be a part of the Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time in...umm, a very long time.  It's been so long, in fact, that Sean Avery hadn't pissed off anyone in the NHL yet.


Sharks on the playoff bubble - Since the lockout, hockey fans can be assured of two things: the Toronto Maple Leafs will miss the playoffs and the San Jose Sharks will collapse in the playoffs.  This season, the latter won't happen if the Sharks actually miss the playoffs.  This year's Sharks are so bad, in fact, that Martin Havlat is averaging fewer points per game than during his Minnesota days.  Think about that.

Players who could impact the NHL playoff race

"I start to play good when we fire our coach, hahahaha!!! ... we fired Bruce Who-dreau???"

As the NHL regular season winds down into its final quarter, the playoff race is tight in both conferences, despite Eastern Conference teams seemingly trying everything they can to miss the playoffs.  As you might expect, teams are banking on certain players to have a significant impact on the playoff race, so I figured I'd mention a few of them.


Sidney Crosby - Most times, teams are thrilled when players can have a positive impact on their own team, yet every time Sidney Crosby's name is mentioned in NHL locker rooms recently, goalies seem to freeze and pass out.  Except for Maple Leafs goaltenders, since they've already headed for the showers by the second period.


Ilya Bryzgalov - Ilya Bryzgalov seems to have saved his season, and there's a good reason why.  He's spent all season trying to find the exact spot in the universe where his former team, the Phoenix Coyotes will be playing next season, after finding no results for "2012-13 Coyotes season tickets."


Alexander Radulov - Due to a bizarre set of circumstances, Radulov might actually come to the NHL this season and play with the Preds in the playoffs.  If he gets the Preds past the first round, he'd be the first russian hockey player named "Alexander" to succeed in the NHL playoffs.

Which bubble teams will make the playoffs?

"IF YA DON'T HAVE ANY ONTARIO PLAYERS, YA CAN'T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS!
HOW CAN YA MAKE THE PLAYOFFS IF YA DON'T HAVE ANY ONTARIO PLAYERS?"

The playoffs begin in just over a month, and there's still plenty of teams that have a chance, or think they have a chance, to be a part of it this season.  As a hockey blogger, I feel that it is my duty to provide you with a carefully written and intelligent analysis of who I think will miss the playoffs and won't will miss them.  Naturally, I decided not to do that.  Instead, here's a hopefully more entertaining look at the "bubble" teams.


Winnipeg Jets

Why they can make the playoffs: Their fans would give up breathing if it meant seeing their team in the playoffs.
Why they can't make the playoffs: According to Pierre McGuire, they have many of the most underrated players in the league.  If Pierre McGuire says you're underrated, you must suck.  A lot.
Verdict: They could, and if they do, I hope the architects who built MTS Centre don't let the roof blow off.


Florida Panthers

Why they can make the playoffs: Lots of people like to take in games at BankAtlantic Center, such as Rangers, Bruins, Caps, Habs and Leafs fans.
Why they can't make the playoffs: If their top line can't carry them offensively, Jose Theodore becomes their biggest offensive threat.
Verdict: Then again, Jose Theodore has scored a goal before...


Washington Capitals

Why they can make the playoffs: Despite the injury to Nicklas Backstrom, they still have talent in Alex Ovechkin, Alex Semin and Mike Green.
Why they can't make the playoffs: Well, this isn't 2008, so Alex, Alex and Green are pretty useless.
Verdict: Perhaps this is all a plan, since finishing first in the Conference so many times didn't work out for Washington.


Tampa Bay Lightning

Why they can make the playoffs: Steven Stamkos can outscore your favorite team combined.
Why they can't make the playoffs: Mike Smith left Tampa Bay for a more up-and-coming hockey market.
Verdict: They have four active players on their roster from Ontario.  How could they not make the playoffs?

Comparing the NHL stretch run and MLB Spring Training



Alex Rodriguez isn't the only Alex who's been distracted from his sport recently.



It's about this time of year that professional baseball players and major league-hopefuls are reporting to Arizona or Florida for MLB's annual Spring Training.  It's also this time of year that the NHL is preparing for the final stretch before the playoffs.  I figured there have to be some similarities and differences, and it turns out that I was right...well, sort of.


Similarity: The games are completely meaningless for teams from Washington D.C.
Difference: The Nationals could surprise everyone and compete for a playoff spot.


Similarity: Superstar players are meeting their new teams, either after free agency or trades.
Difference: Rick Nash expects to meet his very first full-time NHL team next week.


Similarity: Many teams are preparing for this season, while others are already looking towards next season.
Difference: For hockey fans in Phoenix, they are very, very afraid of next season.


Similarity: The New York teams are trying to build on the Giants' Superbowl victory by bringing the Big Apple more championships this year.
Difference: The Mets and Islanders sit off to the side awkwardly.


Similarity: Teams in both leagues are making trades to improve their team.
Difference: The Colorado Avalanche are getting manipulated miserably by Steve Yzerman.

Ex-Devils who returned to New Jersey

"Hey, remember when we played in New Jersey? Yeah, me neither."

As many players have moved on from New Jersey in their careers, Devils fans never forget them.  That's why, when the players return to New Jersey, we don't forget what they did and we usually give them some kind of acknowledgement.  Sometimes we cheer, sometimes we boo, and other times we didn't care enough about the guy to give a crap.  On Thursday, Jamie Langenbrunner and Jason Arnott (if he's healthy) will return to New Jersey.  Let's take a look at past Devils and how they were treated (or should have been treated) when they returned to New Jersey.


Brian Gionta - Gio signed a free agent contract with Montreal, and when he came back to New Jersey for the first time, Devils fans tried to cheer him when he was on the ice, but nobody could find him.

Scott Gomez - Gomer committed the unthinkable crime: he left New Jersey to sign a free agent contract with the rival Rangers.  Devils fans booed him mercilessly and have successfully laid the Curse of the Devils on him.  He no longer possesses the ability to score goals.  Job well done, Devils fans.

John Madden - When Madden returned to New Jersey with Minnesota, Devils fans wanted to give him an ovation, but the glare of his Stanley Cup ring from Chicago blinded many fans.

Brendan Shanahan - Shanahan's return to New Jersey was with St. Louis in 1991.  Devils fans cheered him and thanked him, because he became the franchise's MVP...for leaving.

Tom Kurvers - Kurvers was forever cheered and thanked, similarly to how Shanahan was honored, when he returned to New Jersey.

Scott Clemmensen - Clemmer saved the Devils' season in 2008-09 when Martin Brodeur went down, but when he returned with the Panthers, his goals against average was about 5.00, so we laughed.  And then cheered.  Then we laughed again.

How are NHL teams preparing for the playoffs?

Pictured: Patrick Kane and sunglasses.  Not pictured: Patrick Kane's playoff beard.  Also not pictured: Peggy.

Now that the NHL All-Star break is behind us, many teams begin their push towards the playoffs.  For many teams, they'll look to add a player or two at the deadline that they hope will push them towards a long playoff run.  For some other teams, they'll look to make a big splash to move up the standings.  For others, they'll try to convince their fan base that they're still in the playoff picture, even though they're not.  Here's a guide I put together regarding how teams are preparing for the playoffs.


Boston Bruins - Claude Julien spends most of practice these days reminding his team that all goaltenders are awful and that they can beat anyone.  Of course, he only does this on days Tim Thomas is boycotting the team's events.

Detroit Red Wings - Ken Holland is spending the next few months trying to convince Gary Bettman that making the Joe Louis Arena the exclusive home for all playoff games this year is a good idea.

New York Rangers - MSG officials have begun playoff preparations by reluctantly cancelling "Stage 2" renovation plans for the arena during the middle of May.

Chicago Blackhawks - The Blackhawks have informed Patrick Kane that every game for the rest of the season will now be referred to as the "All-Star Game," in the hopes of increasing his goal totals.

Vancouver Canucks - Alain Vigneault has told his players that swimming pools are off limits until after the season, because his team has already mastered diving.

Philadelphia Flyers - Ilya Bryzgalov has already begun his pre-playoff ritual, which mainly consists of saying "please don't let us play Detroit in the first round."

NHL Power Rankings - Week of January 16th, 2012

Well, it's that time of week again.  It's time to randomly shuffle all 30 teams into an order that seems logical in some ways and illogical in other ways.  I like to believe that this isn't random and that it's my DGA NHL Power Rankings.  For last week's rankings, click here.


1. Boston Bruins (--) - Their recent loss to the Hurricanes hurts their chances at scoring double the amount of goals as their opponent this season.  Another 9-0 win this week would get them back on track, though.

2. New York Rangers (--) - Henrik Lundqvist's ability to stop everything makes you wonder if someday, he can stop world poverty and hunger.

3. St. Louis Blues (+2) - Jaroslav Halak's recent shutout of his former team, the Montreal Canadiens, brought memories of his playoff run in Montreal and being a backup goal--...well, I guess some things don't change.

4. Vancouver Canucks (-1) - Only Roberto Luongo could have a puck hit him, roll down every piece of goalie equipment on him and steer itself into the net...

5. Detroit Red Wings (-1) - Jimmy Howard recently won his 100th career game, which isn't that much if you compare him to Chris Osgood, but it does make him the second-best American-born goalkeeper with the last name "Howard" right now.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (+1) - Jonathan Toews recently blinked, but it was only because he saw Patrick Kane only had 10 goals this season and thought he misread something.

7. San Jose Sharks (-1) - Patrick Marleau already has 5 game-winning goals this season, which is kind of a shot to the gut of Jeremy Roenick.

Signs of an upcoming NHL labor war



"Why did the NHLPA not approve our new re-alignment format?  I don't know.  They're always so good to us..."


Last night, the NHL Player's Association did not approve the league's newly proposed conference/playoff format that would accommodate the move of the Atlanta Thrashers to Winnipeg.  The re-alignment was viewed as bad for travel and an unfair playoff format.  This could be viewed upon by fans as the start of long labor negotiations between the league and the players, but in fairness, there have already been some signs of that.  Here's what I mean.

• The Vancouver Canucks benched Roberto Luongo in favor of Cory Schneider for the team's game in Boston, thus hurting the league's desire for higher scoring games.
   
• John Tortorella keeps accusing NHL officiating as being "disgusting," but then apologizes, because he remembers that saying something interesting could generate better ratings.
   
• The Player's Association continues to threaten NBC and the NHL by telling them that if they don't get what they want, they will make sure the Florida Panthers make the playoffs. 

Previewing the 2012 NHL Winter Classic

Here's the 2012 Winter Classic logo.  Wait, that's not right...

As the calendar turns from December 2011 to January 2012, the latest edition of the NHL's annual outdoor game, the Winter Classic for those who have never heard of the event, will take place between the Philadelphia Flyers and New York Rangers tomorrow at the Phillies' Citizens Bank Ballpark.  Before the main event, however, let's take a look at some of the recent history of the teams.

• Last year's HBO 24/7 series took us into the life of many Russian superstar players, including one that many people accuse of not always caring about the game.  This year's series showed us a Russian who spends way too much time studying poetry and the universe.
   
• People have been questioning Ilya Bryzgalov's dedication to the team and his game right now.  Then you remember that Alexei Kovalev was once employed by the Rangers...
   
• Each of the previous Winter Classic games have featured exciting young teams that the hockey world has fallen in love with since the lockout.  This year's Classic features a pair of teams that are generally despised in the hockey world.
   

Other celebrities that practiced with an NHL team

Celebrities visiting NHL practices are nothing new, actually.

This week, two major figures in pop culture, Michael Buble and Justin Bieber, practiced with NHL teams: the Canucks and Maple Leafs, respectively.  While I'm not sure if Jake Gardiner personally requested to meet Bieber, I can tell you that celebrities and hockey teams have mixed in the past.  Take a look and you'll see what I mean.


New York Rangers - Some claim he plays hockey professionally, but either way, the New York Rangers have invited fashion superstar Sean Avery to many of their practices.  He's even made it into the Rangers' lineup a few times.


Los Angeles Kings - The Kings reportedly invited Leonardo DiCaprio to one of their practices, however the players and DiCaprio seemed to bond when the topic of never winning a major award was brought up.


Carolina Hurricanes - As training camp began for the Hurricanes last fall, a rumor was floating around the locker room that the Jonas Brothers had been invited to their camp, judging by the spike in teenage girls surrounding the team.  Then Jeff Skinner arrived and it all made sense.


Washington Capitals - President Obama met with the locals, the Washington Capitals recently, since he hasn't met with them over a Stanley Cup celebration.  At the end of the day, most people agreed that Obama and Alexander Semin have something in common: people want them out of town next year.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 18th, 2011

It's that time of week again.  It's time for DGA's Week 10 NHL Power Rankings.  We saw a lot of offense this week, which means teams are playing more wide open or goaltenders are just awful lately.  I think it's safe to say it's a combination of both.


1. Boston Bruins (+2) - The absence of Gregory Campbell has really hurt the Bruins.  Something like that...

2. Detroit Red Wings (-1) - The Wings' 13-2-1 home record doesn't even account for their absolute demolition of all opponents recently.  If only Shea Weber hadn't happened to them...

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (-1) - Sidney Crosby's time off has allowed him to teach the rest of the team how to score goals.

4. Chicago Blackhawks (+3) - Patrick Kane's shootout goal on Niklas Backstrom was cool and all, but nobody seriously wants a shootout because of that, right?

5. Minnesota Wild (-1) - It's remarkable that the Wild lost in another shootout considering the Islanders don't have Patrick Kane.

6. St. Louis Blues (+2) - Jaroslav Halak must have realized that he's been outplayed by Brian Elliott this season, so he's decided to start playing.

7. New York Rangers (-2) - Brad Richards is the first free agent Glen Sather has ever signed to successfully bindly throw a puck to the net and win a game with 0.1 seconds to go.

8. Florida Panthers (+1) - The Panthers are either really good or the New York Rangers are the only team that takes them seriously.

9. Vancouver Canucks (+2) - The Sedin's are trying to make sure the Canucks will win with any goaltender better than Toskala.

The NHL's Other New TV Shows

NBC Sports recently launched NHL 36, a 36-hour look into the life of an NHL player.  There's also the return of HBO's 24/7 series, but even with those two shows, some NHL fans are still left wanting more.  Luckily, I've been able to put together some ideas for some new NHL TV shows, and after making a few phone calls, I think I can get at least one of them on the air!  Take a look and tell me which one you'd like to see on the air.

They always say you should love what you do.

"CAKE BOSS"

Program description: NHL star Kyle Wellwood takes you into the kitchen where he shows fans his second passion: really fattening desserts.

Starring: Kyle Wellwood and anyone not named your nutritionist.

Airs: Weekly, all year.

"Hey, look, we're on TV!"

"CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"

Program description: A comedy series that follows one of the NHL's best teams around during the playoffs.

Starring: Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau and a special visit from Dany Heatley.

Airs: Every Spring.





Jobing.com Arena is the best building nobody's ever heard of.


"EMPTY HOUSE"

Program description: Bob Saget hosts a multi-part documentary about the Jobing.com Arena.

Starring: Everyone who's ever tried to re-locate the Phoenix Coyotes and failed.

Airs: 41 nights per year.






Some say his elbows actually require Performance-Reducing Drugs
just to stay healthy.



"EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS"

Program description: A comedy that looks at the life and career of a large and irritating and self-concussing NHL defenseman.

Starring: Chris Pronger.

Airs: Between Chris Pronger injuries.





"Look mom!  No teeth!"




"HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"

Program description: A plot-oriented story in which Pittsburgh radio hosts randomly accuse hockey superstars and their Russian mothers of using steroids.

Starring: Alexander Ovechkin, Alexander Ovechkin's mother, John Steigerwald and a special guest appearance by Ryan Lambert.

Airs: Any time John Steigerwald says something stupid.  So constantly.

Prizes may be rejected due to the spirit of the CBA.

"I DREAM OF KOVY"

Program description: A fantasy game show where hockey players with huge contracts grant people three wishes to see who wins prizes.

Starring: Ilya Kovalchuk.

Airs: The 17th day of each month.





I guess it should be re-named "Tampa Bay Snore" now...


"JERSEY SNORE"

Program description: The show is often mocked at by the rest of the league, but this is reality TV at its finest.  It's a TRAP.

Starring: Jacques Lemaire, anyone to ever play hockey in New Jersey.  Except Mattias Tedenby.

Airs: When you're asleep.

"Umm, Colie, you're way behind on your suspension quota."

"LAW AND DISORDER"

Program description: A look into the NHL's War Room and discipline department and how the league is a flat-out mess.

Starring: Gary Bettman, Colin Campbell, Brendan Shanahan and whoever else is about to be unemployed.

Airs: The day after Andy Sutton tries to kill someone.



I know dogs with longer leashes than this guy.




"MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE"

Program description: Hockey players in Vancouver are given next-to-impossible tasks and expected by their fans to complete them, or else riots break out.

Starring: Roberto Luongo, occasional visits from the Chicago Blackhawks.

Airs: Every April in Vancouver, British Columbia or Chicago, Illinois.







1967 was a long, long time ago.  Just saying...


"THE BLUNDER YEARS"

Program description: A look inside Toronto's prized NHL franchise and trying to find out just what has gone wrong over the last 40+ years.

Starring: Lots of hockey players.

Airs: Will air from now until the Leafs' next Cup.






Due to available space (or lack of), we couldn't
show you the rest of Brian Gionta.


 "TWO AND A HALF MEN"

Program description: A look at Canada's three eastern NHL teams and why one of them is a little shorter than the rest.

Starring: The Senators, Maple Leafs and Canadiens.  You figure out who the "half men" are.

Airs: Every Hockey Night in Canada.


A lot of Rangers players get stuck on the easy questions,
such as "what is the Stanley Cup?"




"WHO WANTS TO BE A ZILLIONAIRE"

Program description: A new game show in which Rangers management opens its wallet to the best and usually most expensive contestants to play for their hockey team (and sometimes their basketball team, too).

Starring: James Dolan, Glen Sather, Brad Richards, Marian Gaborik, Wade Redden and MANY more!

Airs: July 1st, annually.






So there you have it.  The NHL has a lot of options for its new television shows.  I hope I have helped the league find a new way to market the talent in the NHL!

For a complete list of sources in which many of the pictures are from, click here.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 11th, 2011

It's that time of week again.  It's time for Week 9 of DGA's NHL Power Rankings.  This week features a new #1 and a new #30.  Yeah, be excited.


1. Detroit Red Wings (+1) - Now that's December, the Red Wings have decided to start humiliating their opposition again as a holiday present to their fans.

2. Pittsburgh Penguins (+2) - I was planning a Sidney Crosby joke, but I don't think that's appropriate...

3. Boston Bruins (-2) - Were recently shut out at home by the same Panthers team that allowed 6 goals last night.  Boston is terrible.

4. Minnesota Wild (+1) - Matt Hackett will definitely win Vezina at his current pace.

5. New York Rangers (-1) - Did their best NFC East impression with Artem Anisimov getting an unsportsmanlike penalty on a celebration.

6. Philadelphia Flyers (+1) - Following the concussion he gave Chris Pronger, Chris Pronger has now injured every player in the NHL at least once.

7. Chicago Blackhawks (-1) - I had forgotten about Marian Hossa's existence until very recently.

8. St. Louis Blues (+2) - If they keep winning under Ken Hitchcock, they might accidentally make the playoffs.

9. Florida Panthers (-1) - Getting blown out at MSG last night was only because the coaches had no complaints with this team prior to last night.

10. San Jose Sharks (-1) - Someone tell the Sharks this isn't the playoffs yet...

11. Vancouver Canucks (+4) - Alain Vigneault would normally pull Roberto Luongo after allowing three quick goals, but the Montreal native stayed in the game and his team rallied to win against the Habs.  He's making progress.

12. Dallas Stars (--) - Stars owner Tom Gaglardi says there's a huge fan base in Dallas.  He wouldn't, however, specify which sport he was speaking about.

13. Toronto Maple Leafs (-2) - Time to let Phil Kessel start running the penalty kill...

14. Nashville Predators (+4) - The Preds are coming off of wins against Columbus and Anaheim.  They face Calgary next.  I guess they're enjoying the difficult part of their schedule...

15. Phoenix Coyotes (-1) - Falling behind 5-0 in the first period to the Red Wings isn't part of Dave Tippett's system, is it?

16. Buffalo Sabres (--) - The Sabres are really hurting from Ville Leino's suspension...

17. Washington Capitals (--) - Alex Ovechkin is back to being controversial, and thus, relevant.

18. Montreal Canadiens (+1) - Tomas Kaberle is averaging two points per game with the Habs through...one game.

19. Los Angeles Kings (-6) - As a team, they've collectively scored roughly as many goals as Phil Kessel this season.  I wonder if that'll change under John Stevens...

20. Ottawa Senators (+2) - The Sens have gone from best third period team in the league to back-to-back blown third period leads, kind of like how Milan Michalek went from irrelevant to world-class sniper overnight.

21. Winnipeg Jets (-1) - *Bad Joke of the Week:* The Jets are preparing to celebrate the First Noël.

22. Calgary Flames (+4) - The Flames' recent hot streak, led by........well, I'm sure someone is playing well in Calgary.

23. Colorado Avalanche (-2) - It's a good thing the Avs have so many young forwards who can make the Avs' defense better.

24. Edmonton Oilers (-1) - Andy Sutton received his daily Shanaban today.

25. New Jersey Devils (--) - The Devils have to be considered Stanley Cup contenders with the addition of Kurtis Foster, no?

26. New York Islanders (+1) - The Islanders are picking up points lately, which has Charles Wang furious.

27. Tampa Bay Lightning (-3) - Martin St. Louis snapped his consecutive games played streak at 499.  His shoes are big shoes to fill...although not literally.

28. Columbus Blue Jackets (+2) - Upon Steve Mason's return to the lineup, expect Columbus to fall back to #30 in everyone's power rankings.

29. Carolina Hurricanes (-1) - Tomas Kaberle left town, and somehow, nobody realized it...

30. Anaheim Ducks (-1) - Mark Fraser and Rod Pelley are the best ex-Devils to play in Anaheim since Sheldon Brookbank.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of December 4th, 2011

By my count, Week 8 of the 2011-12 NHL season is in the books.  Unfortunately, Sidney Crosby did not make another return to the lineup this week.  Instead he stayed in the lineup.  David Perron and Ryan Miller returned to the lineup, though.

1. Boston Bruins (--) - I wonder if Zdeno Chara made Phil Kessel look as helpless as he did in Toronto Saturday back when they were teammates in practice.

2. Detroit Red Wings (--) - While the Wings are washed up, too old, too slow and have too many big contracts, they're also busy being the hottest team in the NHL.

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - When healthy, Pittsburgh's "Big 3" is an unbelievably dynamic trio.  Who knew?

4. New York Rangers (+3) - After many years of failures after signing big ticket free agents, perhaps it's time to realize that Glen Sather got it right with Brad Richards...at least for now.

5. Minnesota Wild (-1) - After backup goaltender Niklas Backstrom was lifted from the game against New Jersey due to injury, Josh Harding shined to steer the Wild to victory.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (--) - To those who may have forgotten, the Blackhawks have Marian Hossa, and he's ridiculously good.

7. Philadelphia Flyers (+2) - The fact that Scott Hartnell plays on one of the best lines in hockey is just weird, but it's true.

8. Florida Panthers (+2) - No Panthers forward even has half of the points as Versteeg, Fleischmann and Weiss do each.

9. San Jose Sharks (-4) - The Sharks have been in three shootouts this season: all wins against Eastern Conference teams.

10. St. Louis Blues (+3) - David Perron scored in his first game back in the NHL after 97 games missed from a concussion.  Didn't someone else pull a similar feat recently?

11. Toronto Maple Leafs (-3) - I wonder if James Reimer will be able to beat the Bruins.  I guess we'll find out in March.

12. Dallas Stars (+5) - The Stars are thankful that Matt Moulson doesn't still play in the Western Conference.

13. Los Angeles Kings (+2) - Dustin Penner is heating up again.  I'm pretty sure he had a few shots on goal this past week.

14. Phoenix Coyotes (-3) - Ilya Bryzgalov left Phoenox thinking "ha, the Coyotes miss me."  The thing is, though, they don't.

15. Vancouver Canucks (-3) - Roberto Luongo came in to relieve Cory Schneider against Nashville.  He eventually collapsed and the Canucks lost late, so order is still restored in the world.

16. Buffalo Sabres (-2) - Terry Pegula will definitely look to acquire a 'tough guy' to be Ryan Miller's personal bodyguard.

17. Washington Capitals (+1) - Dale Hunter was very excited to learn that he'd be coaching such elite players like Jason Chimera in Washington.

18. Nashville Predators (-2) - In their latest attempt to imitate the Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins, the Preds wear gold jerseys and have their players run over Ryan Miller.

19. Montreal Canadiens (+2) - There is something ironic about Max Pacioretty getting suspended for a nasty hit after his experiences from last season.

20. Winnipeg Jets (+3) - Don Cherry predicted the Jets would miss the playoffs.  Winnipeg is determined to prove him wrong just to make him admit he's wrong about something.

21. Colorado Avalanche (+4) - The Avs spent their week learning how to score goals at home, and well, it worked.

22. Ottawa Senators (--) - Isn't it weird that Milan Michalek already has 16 goals, but he's third on his team in points?

23. Edmonton Oilers (+1) - Randy Jones is the latest Oiler to do his Wayne Gretzky impression for a game.

24. Tampa Bay Lightning (-4) - Brad Richards and John Tortorella returned to Tampa Bay this past week.  The team is about as good as after the two of them left.

25. New Jersey Devils (-6) - Martin Brodeur spent his week making sure nobody will ever catch his most losses record.

26. Calgary Flames (--) - Jarome Iginla insists that he wants to win in Calgary.  I guess we'll see if he'll still be playing in 15 years, then.

27. New York Islanders (+1) - Matt Moulson decided he's sick of his team not scoring, so he went a bit insane in Dallas.

28. Carolina Hurricanes (-1) - If Paul Maurice was leaving a note for John MacLean instead of Kirk Muller, you'd think if probably would have read "I already got them a bad record, so you can't really screw up much worse."

29. Anaheim Ducks (--) - After completing an anonymous poll following their first game under Bruce Boudreau, Anaheim players are in agreement that Boudreau is "f$%&ing" awesome.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (--) - Nail Yakupov reportedly owns a blue jacket...not that there's any signifiance to that...

How the NHL can prevent shootouts

This week marked the 1,000th shootout in NHL history, which seems like a lot of shootouts, considering the format was established in the fall of 2005.  For some people, a skills competition is not a fair way to decide the outcome of a regular season game, but what can be done to avoid shootouts?  I've come up with a list of ways teams can prevent shootouts.


Washington Capitals - Tell Alex Ovechkin and Semin that Bruce Boudreau has indeed been fired and that it's okay if they start playing and scoring goals again.

Vancouver Canucks - In a tie game at any time, insert Roberto Luongo between the pipes.  *Note: this does not work well if the Canucks plan on winning the game.

Nashville Predators - At the end of overtime, all Predators players should just leave the ice, because they've already lost the game.

Toronto Maple Leafs - Host Kyle Wellwood Night at the Air Canada Centre when the Leafs play Winnipeg and invite the Leafs fan who threw waffles onto the ice last season back and bring a bunch of friends.

Montreal Canadiens - Request that the NHL make a rule that anyone shorter than 5'10" not be eligible for the shootout.  The Habs would be forced to forfeit, by default.

Pittsburgh Penguins - Have Sidney Crosby ask the refs to keep overtime going.

Dallas Stars - Scratch Mike Ribeiro.

Tampa Bay Lightning - Tell Steven Stamkos he's taking a penalty shot.

Boston Bruins - If Tuukka Rask is playing, ask him how he liked shootouts when he was in Providence with the AHL Bruins.

New York Rangers - Tell Brandon Dubinsky that Jody Shelley likes shootouts.  Dubinsky will then refer to shootouts as "idiotic."

New Jersey Devils - Ask Ilya Kovalchuk if he remembers scoring on Ryan Miller in a shootout last season.

Detroit Red Wings - Automatically disqualify Pavel Datsyuk.

Buffalo Sabres - Have Milan Lucic start every shootout when the Bruins play Buffalo.

Colorado Avalanche - Tell the officials that the Avs will blast their goal horn upon each shootout goal scored.

New York Islanders - Tell fans that they'll be charged double for the game if it gets to a shootout because that's how long it would take for someone on the Isles to score.  Or maybe they do that already...

Columbus Blue Jackets - Inform Jeff Carter that scoring a shootout goal will activate a full no-movement clause on his contract.

Philadelphia Flyers - Any Flyers player that scores in the shootout will be first in line to be traded to Columbus.

Top 10 Video Special - Coaches who lost their first game

Welcome to the 12th edition of DGA's Top 10 Video Special.  Earlier today, the Carolina Hurricanes and Washington Capitals both announced new head coaches to their hockey teams: Kirk Muller and Dale Hunter, respectively.  Since I'm an optimistic person, let's take a look at some head coaches whose first game with their teams didn't go so well.  Note the theme of Atlantic Division coaches in this countdown. 


#10 - John Tortorella (New York Rangers)

Tortorella's coaching debut with the Rangers ended in a shootout loss.

#9 - Jack Capuano (New York Islanders)

The Islanders had lost 10 in a row before Capuano came in, and well, things didn't really turn around.  They still haven't.

#8 - Jacques Lemaire (New Jersey Devils)

What would a coaching countdown be without some representation from the Devils?

#7 - John MacLean (New Jersey Devils)

Okay, how about two from the Devils?

#6 - Scott Arniel (Columbus Blue Jackets)

It isn't susprising that the Jackets lost, though, is it?

#5 - Paul MacLean (Ottawa Senators)

MacLean's first game as a coach resulted in a loss.

#4 - Peter DeBoer (New Jersey Devils)

Did I mention the Devils change coaches a lot?

#3 - Jacques Lemaire...again (New Jersey Devils)

Again...

 

#2 - Claude Noël (Winnipeg Jets)

Well, as Jim Hughson says, the Jets really won this game because they got their team back...

#1 - Peter Laviolette (Philadelphia Flyers)

Lavy watched as the Caps had one of the longest power plays in NHL history during his first game in Philly.



So there's my Top 10.  Didn't like it?  Have a better idea for a Top 10 special?  Comment below, e-mail me (downgoesavery@aol.com) or tweet to me (@DownGoesAvery).  I'm always looking for new and better ideas.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of November 27th, 2011

Here we go: Week 7 of the 2011-12 season and DGA's Week 7 NHL Power Rankings.  Absolutely nothing worthy of discussion happened this week, so let's start.

1. Boston Bruins (+8) - If Tyler Seguin wins the Selke Trophy and Phil Kessel wins the Art Ross, Rocket Richard and Hart Trophy, does that mean the Bruins won the trade by Claude Julien's logic?

2. Detroit Red Wings (+4) - Datsyuk and Zetterberg are back to being their superhuman, partially robotic selves again, thus restoring normalcy to the world.

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - So when does Crosby come back?

4. Minnesota Wild (-3) - They recently signed a 51-year old fan to an amateur contract as an emergency goalie, which is something a franchise such as Philadelphia or the NY Islanders would do.

5. San Jose Sharks (-3) - "The Sharks really miss Dany Heatley." - nobody.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (-2) - "Chelsea Dagger" is the most played song in the city of Chicago.*

*Not confirmed.
7. New York Rangers (--) - Henrik Lundqvist's 37th career shutout (against the Flyers this past Friday) moves him within 79 of Martin Brodeur's shutout record.

8. Toronto Maple Leafs (-3) - Considering that the Leafs sustain more injuries in a week than a dummy at a military target practice, Brian Burke hasn't overreacted and started trading for every player on the market.

9. Philadelphia Flyers (-1) - Paul Holmgren watched as the Wild signed a fan as the emergency goalie and may have gotten some ideas from that.  Maybe that's why the Flyers are holding a goaltending tryout session this week which is open to the public.

10. Florida Panthers (+7) - Jason Garrison has twice as many goals as assists...and he's a defenseman.  Also interesting: his 8 goals in 23 games this season are more than his goal total from his entire 113 previous games combined.

11. Phoenix Coyotes (+4) - The Coyotes will be taking the rejects from the Flyers goalie tryouts and turning them into Vezina candidates.

12. Vancouver Canucks (+6) - Roberto Luongo managed to get his goals against average under 3.00 this week.

13. St. Louis Blues (+6) - Ken Hitchcock has revitalized the Blues thanks to one word: defense.

14. Buffalo Sabres (-4) - Lindy Ruff's Milan Lucic punching bag really fires up the team before every game.

15. Los Angeles Kings (-3) - Perhaps the Kings acquired the wrong Richards last summer.

16. Nashville Predators (-5) - Fact: Pekka Rinne has more assists than Jerred Smithson this season.

17. Dallas Stars (-3) - Well, losing your starting goalie isn't the end of the world.  Look at the Buffalo S...okay never mind.

18. Washington Capitals (-5) - Don't worry, Bruce, Alex Ovechkin and Semin don't hate you enough to torch your car...yet.

19. New Jersey Devils (-3) - The NHL's newest anti-Devils strategy is to wipe out any game-tying goal with under 5 seconds remaining in the third period.

20. Tampa Bay Lightning (--) - Upon asking about acquiring Jonathan Bernier, Steve Yzerman laughed hysterically when Deam Lombardi asked for Victor Hedman, but then realized Lombardi was serious.

21. Montreal Canadiens (+3) - Andrei Markov is almost ready to return to the Habs' lineup, which means they'll have a quality defensemen for about two weeks, before Markov inevitably crashes into the boards and injures himself again.

22. Ottawa Senators (--) - As it turns out, Paul MacLean doesn't suck as much as the last NHL head coach with his last name did.

23. Winnipeg Jets (+2) - Dustin Byfuglien is the best defensemen in the league who never learned to skate backwards.

24. Edmonton Oilers (-3) - Now that Taylor Hall is injured, Steve Tambellini plans to have Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Jordan Eberle scratched in order to restore his annual 1st Overall Draft Pick Party in June.

25. Colorado Avalanche (-2) - That Semyon Varlamov trade probably wasn't the best goaltender acquisition in Avs' history...

26. Calgary Flames (--) - Jarome Iginla is definitely getting traded this year, just as he was last year and just as Brett Favre definitely retired four years ago.

27. Carolina Hurricanes (+1) - Tomas Kaberle is on the trade block...again.  He's bound to draw at least an 8th round pick in return...

28. New York Islanders (+1) - They finally got their first road win of the season, thanks to Michael Grabner's 700 breakaways in two games against the Devils this week.

29. Anaheim Ducks (-2) - Perhaps we have a new Fail for Nail favorite destination?

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (--) - It was tempting to move the Jackets out of 30th this week.