Friday, December 2, 2011

How the NHL can prevent shootouts

This week marked the 1,000th shootout in NHL history, which seems like a lot of shootouts, considering the format was established in the fall of 2005.  For some people, a skills competition is not a fair way to decide the outcome of a regular season game, but what can be done to avoid shootouts?  I've come up with a list of ways teams can prevent shootouts.

Washington Capitals - Tell Alex Ovechkin and Semin that Bruce Boudreau has indeed been fired and that it's okay if they start playing and scoring goals again.

Vancouver Canucks - In a tie game at any time, insert Roberto Luongo between the pipes.  *Note: this does not work well if the Canucks plan on winning the game.

Nashville Predators - At the end of overtime, all Predators players should just leave the ice, because they've already lost the game.

Toronto Maple Leafs - Host Kyle Wellwood Night at the Air Canada Centre when the Leafs play Winnipeg and invite the Leafs fan who threw waffles onto the ice last season back and bring a bunch of friends.

Montreal Canadiens - Request that the NHL make a rule that anyone shorter than 5'10" not be eligible for the shootout.  The Habs would be forced to forfeit, by default.

Pittsburgh Penguins - Have Sidney Crosby ask the refs to keep overtime going.

Dallas Stars - Scratch Mike Ribeiro.

Tampa Bay Lightning - Tell Steven Stamkos he's taking a penalty shot.

Boston Bruins - If Tuukka Rask is playing, ask him how he liked shootouts when he was in Providence with the AHL Bruins.

New York Rangers - Tell Brandon Dubinsky that Jody Shelley likes shootouts.  Dubinsky will then refer to shootouts as "idiotic."

New Jersey Devils - Ask Ilya Kovalchuk if he remembers scoring on Ryan Miller in a shootout last season.

Detroit Red Wings - Automatically disqualify Pavel Datsyuk.

Buffalo Sabres - Have Milan Lucic start every shootout when the Bruins play Buffalo.

Colorado Avalanche - Tell the officials that the Avs will blast their goal horn upon each shootout goal scored.

New York Islanders - Tell fans that they'll be charged double for the game if it gets to a shootout because that's how long it would take for someone on the Isles to score.  Or maybe they do that already...

Columbus Blue Jackets - Inform Jeff Carter that scoring a shootout goal will activate a full no-movement clause on his contract.

Philadelphia Flyers - Any Flyers player that scores in the shootout will be first in line to be traded to Columbus.