Friday, October 28, 2011

How to tell if your team has a goaltending problem

For obvious reasons, last night's 17 goal shootout in Philadelphia raised more questions about the Flyers' goaltending situation.  That seems to be a common theme and Flyers tradition over the past decades.  But it isn't only the Flyers who have goaltending issues.  Check out this helpful guide to see if your team is facing goaltending issues.

No Problem - Your team's starting goalie has developed a creative dance that he performs at the end of every victory.
Problem - Your team's starting goalie has apparently forgot the dance because he can't use it.

No problem - Your team's goalie uses pads as massive as Henrik Lundqvist...or your team's starting goalie is Henrik Lundqvist.
Problem - Your team's "starting" goalie seems alarmed when the siren sounds to end a period, since he usually doesn't make it to the end of a period.

No problem - Your general manager signed a goaltender to a cheap contract because he wants to win a Stanley Cup, even though nobody else on your team wants to win the Cup.
Problem - Your team's goaltender drives a Ferrari and likes to race through the desert.

No problem - Martin Brodeur recently asked your team's goalie to borrow his pads.
Problem - That goalie becomes a free agent soon, and judging by your team's track record with goalies, that isn't a good thing.

No problem - Your team's goalie has won a pair of Vezina trophies over the past three seasons.
Problem - Your team's goalie has won a pair of Vezina's, but refuses to score goals to support him.

No problem - It's July and your team's general manager just signed a star goaltender to a long contract.
Problem - It's October, and that same goaltender somehow got lost in the woods.

No problem - Your team is coached by Dave Tippett.
Problem - If your team is coached by Dave Tippett, you have other things to worry about than goaltending.

No problem - When asked about his team's goaltending situation, your team's general manager simply replies "status quo."
Problem - Your team's head coach says "we need to start playing as well as the Senators," and he means it.

No problem - Your team has a goalie named Jonathan, and another named Jonathan to back him up.
Problem - Your opponent fires their assistant coach and has their captain steamroll goalies.

No problem - You have Nicklas Lidstrom on your team.
Problem - You have Brett Lebda on your team.

Problem - Your team's goaltender has ever heard of the Flyers.
Even worse problem - Your team's goaltender is under contract for the better part of the decade with the Canucks.
Worst problem of them all - Your team's goaltender has a contract for this decade and part of the next with the Islanders.