Saturday, February 4, 2012

How does a hockey fan watch the Superbowl?

These two trophies are pretty much the same.  Well, except that the one on the left is smaller and has never been to Canada.

In the event that you live under a rock or are completely clueless, this Sunday is Superbowl Sunday.  The NFC and AFC champions, New York Giants and New England Patriots, respectively, will play in a winner-take-all Superbowl on Sunday evening.  Most Americans will be watching this football game, while others will watch the commercials and others will just attend Superbowl parties for the free food.  But hockey fans are different.  Hockey fans have a unique way of watching the Superbowl.  In fact, hockey fans use their hockey knowledge while watching football.  Take a look:

Hockey: Any time a hit is delivered to any hockey player by another hockey player, Zac Rinaldo is given a penalty.
Football: Unlike hockey, officials actually allow hits and contact, because it is a physical sport.

Hockey: The clock stops when there is an icing, off-side, goal, penalty or the scorekeepers decide to stop the clock late in the third period.
Football: The clock stops whenever a trainer has to tend to a quarterback that Jason Pierre-Paul has levelled.

Football: There is a 2-point conversion in football as an option after a scoring play called a touchdown.
Hockey: There is an 8-point conversion in hockey, but only Sam Gagner knows how to score it.

Hockey: An icing occurs when the puck is sent more than halfway down the ice by a player on the defensive half of the rink...or when goalies shoot and miss the empty net.
Football: An icing occurs when Jason Garrett wants to help the Giants win the NFC East.

Football: The Refrigerator refers to a former NFL defensive tackle who ran people over like a refrigerator.
Hockey: The Refrigerator is the the appliance that Dustin Penner keeps the delicious weapons that injure him in.

Football: An interception occurs when a player (usually the quarterback) throws the ball and it is caught by a player from the other team.
Hockey: An interception is also a word for a turnover in hockey, and usually spoken a few seconds after Kurtis Foster steps onto the ice.

Football: A timeout is called whenever a team needs to design a new play...or whenever Rex Ryan yanks Mark Sanchez out of a game.
Hockey: A timeout is called whenever John Tortorella or Bruce Boudreau feels that they are overdue to speak many curse words.

Football: Boston's football team, the New England Patriots, have previously been caught spying on their opponenets during big games.
Hockey: When Zdeno Chara, captain of Boston's hockey team, the Bruins, stands up, he looks over his locker room wall and spies into the other team's locker room.

Football: The clock is stopped with two minutes remaining in each half.  This is called the two-minute warning.
Hockey: A buzzer sounds with 20 minutes remaining in each period.  This is called the beginning of the period.

Football: No NFL franchise has moved over the past several seasons, but rumors keep floating around that a team could be moving to Los Angeles.
Hockey: Rumors keep floating around that the Phoenix Coyotes could be moving after this season, next season or in 30 years.

Football: One of football's biggest stars suffered a serious injury and has missed a lot of time lately, prompting rumors of a pre-mature retirement.
Hockey: Well, ditto...

Hockey: The winner of each game celebrates, while the loser of the game usually whines about how awful officiating is.
Football: Well, I guess the two sports are the same in some ways...