Thursday, May 26, 2011

Are you a Canadian hockey fan (the full test!)?

That's strange...the Jets have never won a championship...well, since the 1968-69 New York Jets, anyway.  Also strange: the crowd shown is in...Montreal.  Well, anyway, Winnipeg has reportedly gotten the hockey Jets back (barring name approval).  So Canada would now have 7 NHL teams, while the U.S. still has 23, but it begs the question: how many Americans are as passionate as Canadian hockey fans?  You can check yourself by taking the full test below.  *Disclaimer: I am not intending to insult either country or fans from either country.

Do you paint your face before you attend an NHL game of your team?

(a) No, I'm too busy wearing a green, spandex bodysuit.
(b) Yes, every game.  It hides my identity while I throw tasteful breakfast foods onto the ice.
(c) I've outgrown face-painting.
(d) I only paint my face when I'm starring on a sitcom and wearing a Devils jersey.

How many homes games to you attend per season?

(a) None, I don't live near my team's arena.
(b) As many as I can on my budget.
(c) 41!  I'm a season ticket holder!
(d) More than 41!  My team is a perennial playoff team (in which case, you're not a Leafs or Oilers fan...).

How do you celebrate when your favorite team scores?

(a) Stand up and scream like idiots until the next faceoff.
(b) Throw my hands up and hi-five my friends.
(c) Sit in my seat and wonder if the team is hurting its chances to land the 1st overall draft pick.
(d) Umm, my team never scores, we play the 1-2-2.

What song does your team's arena play after a goal is scored?

(a) Zombie Nation
(b) Gary Glitter's "Rock n' Roll"
(c) Satriani's "Crowd Chant" or a similar sounding song
(d) I'm not sure.  The crowd is too loud cheering.

What do you usually do after a win?

(a) Hang out with my friends at a nearby bar.
(b) Go home and celebrate.
(c) Haha, win...that's funny.
(d) A group of us rage through the city, breaking into stores and burning police cars.

What are you doing on June 24th?

(a) Attending my team's Stanley Cup parade.
(b) Attending a barbecue with friends.
(c) Attending our team's annual 1st Overall Draft pick party for Draft Day.
(d) I'll be sitting on the beach, just like Gary Bettman.

What event are you anticipating this summer for free agency?

(a) Glen Sather giving Brad Richards a ridiculously absurd contract just to make the Kovalchuk contract look good.
(b) The Bruins re-signing Tomas Kaberle, and I'll be laughing at them if they do.
(c) Gary Bettman fining Lou Lamoriello for saying "status quo" 8,000 times.
(d) Brian Burke acquiring Jeff Carter for Phil Kessel.

Who is the best dressed hockey person?

(a) Kevin Weekes
(b) Patrick Sharp
(c) Henrik Lundqvist
(d) Don Cherry

How many road games do you watch on TV?

(a) None, I'm at them all.
(b) A few, whenever I'm home or available.
(c) Versus is blocked in my home, so not many.
(d) All of them.  I plan my life around my team.

What's the first thing you do when you wake up on Tuesday and Friday mornings?

(a) The usual: coffee, then work.
(b) Look at the clock and then fall back asleep.
(c) Watch ESPN SportsCenter.
(d) Run to a computer to read Down Goes Brown's new blog post.

Check your answers:

  • If you're like a Canadian hockey fan, you chose (in order): 1 - B, 2 - D, 3 - A/B, 4 - D, 5 - D, 6 - C, 7 - A/B/C/D, 8 - D, 9 - D, 10 - D.

If you answered like a Canadian:

  • 10 - You either have way too much time on your hands or you're "employed" by your team, or something like that.
  • 7-9 - You're passionate, but you probably shy away from what seperates Americans from Canadians.  Perhaps rioting is one of those things.
  • 4-6 - You're a pretty big fan of hockey, but not quite crazy enough.  You probably watch too much ESPN and may have another priority, such
  • 2-3 - You aren't really a crazy hockey fan, but you care...if your team is relevant and not golfing in May.
  • 1 - You're probably either a newer hockey fan or still a hockey fan prospect.
  • 0 - You know that they aren't using golf clubs and tennis balls on the ice, right?