As you know, the only NHL GM with a real Twitter account is Vancouver Canucks GM Mike Gillis, so don't take any of this seriously...not like you ever take me seriously... Anyway, as the playoffs approach, let's take a look at what NHL GMs have been tweeting to their followers and fans in a non-serious sort of way. Ignore the 140 character limit...
StillNoCupsSinceColorTV @BurkeysLeafs: Hey, Brian, just wanted to know what you think about next year, and the year after, and the year after now that we're done this year.
BurkeysLeafs @StillNoCupsSinceColorTV: We're very (VERY) optimistic about our organization moving forward. We have young talent that will propel into the promised land. Of course, we're still trying to find out what the promised land is...
RozysRangers @DontBlameMeGlen: I'm a little concerned. We haven't signed a big, expensive FA since '09 and we won't have cap space to sign Richards AND keep Anisimov, Boyle, Callahan and Dubinsky.
DontBlameMeGlen @RozysRangers: Don't worry about the salary cap, I'll get everything under control. I'll just trade all those guys for Recchi or some other washed up player.
LeafsSuck67 @GauthierNotMcGuire: Hi, Pierre, just wanted to know what you're planning to do once we get killed in the first round.
GauthierNotMcGuire @LeafsSuck67: Riot in the streets, of course! Just kidding, probably nothing.
IH8Steckel @EastSideMarios: Mr. Shero: Is Sidney Crosby going to be ready for the playoffs?
EastSideMarios @IH8Steckel: If be "playoffs," you mean Stanley Cup Finals Game 7, you're absolutely right.
MiamiFanoftheHeat @ITakeMyJobSeriously: Umm, someone told me there's a hockey team in Miami, so umm, how would I get tickets to such a game?
ITakeMyJobSeriously @MiamiFanoftheHeat: Good question. Go to Philly. We have special ticket offers for them there.
Kovaltron17 @JellyJarLou: Lou, have you talked with Zach Parise about a contract extension?
JellyJarLou @Kovaltron17: Everything with Zach is status quo.
TheGr8Eight @GeorgeMcFreeDC: Some of my friends are Penguins fans and they keep talking about winning the Stanley Cup. Why am I not familiar with this concept?
GeorgeMcFreeDC @TheGr8Eight: Well, you have to win four rounds of the playoffs to do that. Maybe someday, we'll get there, but first, we have to win one.
BrdStrBullies @AlwaysSunnyinPhilly: Hello, Mr. Holmgren, I was wondering if you could update me on Chris Pronger's status?
AlwaysSunnyinPhilly @BrdStrBullies: Well, he's under investigation as a suspect for stealing 20 pucks from Flyers practice this morning.
LightSabres30 @DarcyfromBuffalo How do you decide which players to keep and which players to let go?
DarcyfromBuffalo @LightSabres30: Well, there's a very detailed formula I use, it's called the How-Crazy-Of-A-Goal-Call-Can-Rick-Jeanneret-Pull-Off-When-He-Scores formula.
RaysBoltsBucs @YzermanRedWings: Who do you think is a better player, Steven Stamkos or Corey Perry?
YzermanRedWings @RaysBoltsBucs: I picked Corey for the Olympic team last year, but the truth is, I've never picked Steven for any of my teams before.
HollywoodHockey @LAmbardi: Dean, since Kopitar and Williams are hurt, how are we going to win in the playoffs???
LAmbardi @HollywoodHockey: Well, there's all those superstars I signed last summer, oh wait, crap, that was NHL 11.
BrentSutter @DarrylSutter: DARRYL?! WHY DON'T YOU REPLY TO MY TEXTS ANYMORE???
DarrylSutter @BrentSutter: Brent, I left the #Flames, therefore, I don't respond to questions about which player I'm going to sign this summer.
WereStillMighty @BMurray: Who do you think is the best playoff opponent for the #Ducks in the first round?
BMurray @WereStillMighty: I think you confused me with @BobMurray. I'm the #Sens GM, so the playoffs don't apply to me.
MattCooke24 @BostonPeteParty: Hey, since I'm getting suspended for the first round of the playoffs, I thought I'd watch some #Bruins hockey. Just saying!
TwitterAlerts @MattCooke24: We're sorry, but @BostonPeteParty has blocked you and does not wish to receive tweets from you.
DonMaloney @BESTNHLCommish: Gary, I put in the deposit for my apartment in Winnipeg. Keep me posted on the ownership situation.
BESTNHLCommish @DonMaloney: We will not give up on a great hockey market such as the one in Phoenix!