Some St. Patrick's Day Traditions Across the NHL

Maybe fans will start throwing four leaf clovers onto the ice.  You know, there's four leafs, ugh, leaves and all...

Like many of us non-NHL players, several NHL players have various traditions that they follow every time St. Patrik (or Patrick)'s Day comes around.  I've put together a list of some of the traditions that people around the NHL.


Patrick Kane - Gets drunk.


Tim Thomas - Goes with a group of his friends to someone's house to party.  I can't swear by this, but I don't think it's a white house.


Adam Larsson - Has a tradition of insisting to bartenders that I.D.'s are a ridiculous way to proof people's age.


Boston Bruins - Have "Shipping up to Boston" playing constantly at TD Garden, which annoys no one, says Zdeno Chara, who's guarding the music room.


Patrick Kane - Still drunk.


Dustin Byfuglien - Upon drinking his fifth or sixth beer, he makes the mature decision not to drive drunk.  Instead, he often takes his boat out, which doesn't always end well for him.


Colorado Avalanche - Like most NHL teams, the Avs sell green t-shirts with their players names on the back and an added O', such as O'O'Brien, O'O'Byrne and O'O'Reilly.

Top secret: NHL's annual Halloween party

Every year, the NHL hosts a top secret Halloween party at an unknown catering hall in New York City.  Why NYC?  Because Gary Bettman lives nearby and whatever he wants...happens.  Through some hard work and research, I was able to find out where the party was this year, and well, here's what happened.


Gary Bettman (dressed as Mario Lemieux): Good evening, everyone, I'd like to welcome you to the NHL's annual Halloween Party.  I'd like to especially welcome all of the rookies and first-timers here tonight.  We have an open bar, so enjoy everyone!

*Gabriel Landeskog, Jeff Skinner, Adam Larsson, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and many other under-21 players run over to the open bar, only to be escorted into a small private room with Brendan Shanahan.

Brian Burke (dressed as a wizard): Evening, Pete.  How's it going?

Peter Chiarelli (dressed as a bear): It's going well, Brian, and you?  (*flashes Burke his Stanley Cup ring*)

Brian Burke: Good.  Glad to hear that.  You know...

Peter Chiarelli (interrupts): Yes, I know, Phil Kessel leads the league in goal scoring.  (Burke smiles)  But I have a ring.

Sean Avery (dressed as a clown) - (interrupts both Burke and Chiarelli): Hey guys.  Wanna put a claim in for me?  (Chiarelli and Burke stare at each other, and awkwardly walk away.)

Rick DiPietro (dressed as a hockey goalie): Hey Jack, how are you?

Jack Capuano (dressed as Mets pitcher Chris Capuano): Doing well, Ricky.  *Shakes DiPietro's hand.*

Rick DiPietro: Owwww!!  *Falls to the ground in pain.*

Jack Capuano: *Calls across the room* Garth, Rick is done for the season!

Jeff Skinner (dressed as Giants pitcher Brian Wilson): Come here, guys, I found a secret entrance to the bar!  *Skinner leads the under-21 players into the bar and pours them drinks.

Andrew Ladd: (to his Jets teammates): Who is that guy over at the buffet?  That's not.......oh no.  *walks over to buffet table.*  Kyle, how much food can you possibly eat?

Kyle Wellwood (dressed as Santa Claus): Hey, I'm just trying to be authentic...

Alex Ovechkin (dressed as Superman): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Chris Pronger (dressed as a boxer): Shutup! *Elbows Ovechkin to the ground.* 

Alex Ovechkin: Hey, Chris, look at what that guy wrote on my Twitter!

Brendan Shanahan (dressed as a traffic cop): Hey, Pronger, Gary told me to keep a close eye on you tonight.

Chris Pronger: Dammit.  *Shrugs shoulders and heads to the penalty room.*

Brendan Shanahan: Pronger, keep an eye on the kids in there.

Pavel Datsyuk: *Walks around the room stealing everyone's drinks.*  Here you go, Nik.

Nikolai Khabibulin: Thanks, Pavel.  You're so good at playing your role in real life.

Dany Heatley (sitting at a table with his teammates): Hey, can someone get me a drink?  I'm too lazy to get it myself.

Ilya Bryzgalov (dressed as a hunter in the woods): Hey bartender, can I get a refill?

Bartender: Sure.  *Slides a shot glass down the front of the bar, Bryzgalov misses it and it falls off the edge of the bar.*

Jonathan Quick: Look out!  *Sprints over to the bar and dives to catch the shot glass.*

Ilya Bryzgalov: Nice save, Quick.

*Suddenly, someone dressed as Roadrunner from Looney Tunes races across the room.*

Rick DiPietro (still on the floor): Was that Grabs?

Glen Sather (dressed as Michael Swenson, who was one of the members of Goldman Sachs blamed for poor investment decisions): Damn, I have to sign that Grabner kid.

Gary Bettman: Glen, you're not tampering with anyone, are you?  You know we have integrity in this league, right?

Zach Parise: Hey Gary, he was talking to me too.

Shea Weber: Me too!

Gary Bettman: Does anyone feel the ground shaking?  *Ground shakes.*

Zdeno Chara (dressed as the Hulk): Sorry I'm late.

Brian Burke: Mike, go make yourself useful.

Mike Komisarek: Sorry, Brian, I don't think I can do that.

Ron Wilson: Ha, he got that right...

Bruce Boudreau (dressed as Eminem): *Slams his foot on a chair.*  What the @#$%?  This &!@#$% chair, oh @!#$.

Paul Bissonnette (dressed as Dan Carcillo): Hey Danny, did you see this costume?  *Shows Dan Carcillo (dressed as Paul Bissonnette) his cell phone.*

*Avery approaches BizNasty and Carcillo, and they eventually start a brawl, destroying everything in sight.

Chris Pronger: Hey, I want a part of this!  *Jumps on top of Avery.*

Brendan Shanahan: *Blows referee whistle.*  Hey, Pronger, get back in there!

Paul Holmgren: I think I'll claim that Avery guy.

Scott Hartnell: No, please, no!  *Hartnell falls.*  Dammit.

Gary Bettman: Okay, this is out of hand.  Party's over.

Zdeno Chara: Aww, c'mon, we haven't had dessert yet.

Kyle Wellwood: Say what??

Gary Bettman: O-o-okay, Z-zdeno, we'll have dessert.  *Sweating as he looks up at Chara.*

Top 10 Video Special - Sean Avery Fail Moments

TOP 10 SPECIAL #11: In case you aren't aware, this site is named "Down Goes Avery."  'Avery' refers to a model/pest/idiot/part hockey player, Sean Avery, that has played for the Red Wings, Kings, Stars, but most importantly, the New York Rangers.  As a Devils fan, I've always hated Sean Avery, especially during his time with the Rangers.  The fact that he might not be on an NHL roster this season saddens me.  I'll miss his idiotic antics, his chirping at players, his verbal threats, his abusive remarks, his terrible acting skills (on and off ice), his absurd tactics to district goaltenders, his hilarious destructions during fights and even running away from true enforcers, but most of all, the easiest player to make fun of in the NHL (aside form perhaps Brett Lebda or Vesa Toskala).  If this is the end of the road for Avery, let's celebrate his colorful and controversial NHL career by looking at 10 of his greatest failures.  This truly is the Top 10 Down Goes Avery moments.

#10: Avery gets Hordi-chuck'ed - Sean looked more like a turtle than an NHL enforcer on this play.



#9: Avery cries "boo hoo" to Ruutu - Jarkko Ruutu becomes angry at Avery, so he steals his stick.



#8: Maltby crushes Avery - Sean Aver's mood goes from bad to worse after he's disposed of.  *Please note: Avery did not get killed here, despite him trying to sell that he did.



#7: Always keep your head up - Mike Weaver spots Avery with his head down and properly slams him into the boards.



#6: Delay of game - Sean Avery delays the face-off due to an equipment malfunction.



#5: Avery gets a tough lesson from Hartnell - Sean Avery builds the courage to fight Scott Hartnell, but that probably wasn't the best idea.





#4: The best in-game beverage goes to... - Jody Shelley and Sean Avery aren't willing to exchange punches, but they are willing to have a bit of a drink fight.



#3: Welcome to hell - Sean Avery has had some memorable moments against the Devils.  He'd probably like to forget this one.

#2: Goaltender interference - Sean Avery decides he doesn't like Tim Thomas very much.  I sense that feeling is mutual.



#1: You won't fight me?  Too bad. - Avery declines a fight with David Clarkson, but that doesn't stop Clarkson from attacking him (if you listen to the NESN commentary in clip #2, they refer to this fight).



And of course, last but not least: Brodeur vs. Avery - I didn't forget the epic battles Brodeur and Avery have had over the years.  Here's a sample of the rivalry between the two.

I hope you enjoyed the failures of Sean Avery.  As always, if you have an idea for a Top 10 or a blog post in general, leave a comment or send me a tweet.  Thanks for watching.

A player's guide to recovering from concussions

With the growing number of NHL players, and all professional and amateur athletes suffering from concussions, I thought it would be helpful if I offered advice to NHL players, helping them decide when to return to action after their injury has subsided.


- If you're name is Marc Savard, do not miraculously recover from your concussion because you see the Pittsburgh Penguins as your next opponent. Take the extra time to rest and hope that Shawn Thornton and Matt Cooke go at it.

- Now that Chris Pronger is back from his injury, you might want to reconsider speeding up your recovery with the Philadelphia Flyers on the upcoming schedule.

- If you happen to be David Booth, well, just keep your head up.

- Not to name names, but just because you've been injured with a concussion doesn't give you any special rights to complain to the men in stripes when you come back.

- Henrik Lundqvist is not a human punching bag. He does have feelings, and he'll let them out if you challenge him to.

- If you ever feel your symptoms coming back, run to Colin Campbell's office and claim that you were hit from a blindside angle by David Steckel.

- If you were recently suspended for injuring a Detroit Red Wing and you play for the Calgary Flames, and you can't reach Darryl Sutter, keep trying, he'll answer eventually. Jay Feaster won't last forever.

- If you play for the New Jersey Devils, battle through it. If you go down for a significant amount of time, you probably won't be able to get traded out of New Jersey.

- Unlike New Jersey, if you are a Toronto Maple Leaf, you will be taught to work for next year. They haven't needed to rush guys back for April in a while.

- If you happen to be in the Phoenix market and you notice that you aren't attracing much attention with your injury, it's nothing personal. Unless your known name is "BizNasty2point0," you probably aren't getting a lot of attention anyway.

- Having a concussion does not entitle you to free ice cream...just saying.

- There is a difference between missing the All-Star game due to a concussion and boycotting it...in case anyone was wondering.

- If you're Sidney Crosby, you might be under a great deal of pressure to get back into games from your buddy, Gary Bettman. Don't listen to him for 2 reasons: a) you'll get under his skin (again) and b) his ploy of injuring Evgeni Malkin just to get you back sooner shouldn't work. Remember, you have the Devils tonight.

- If you're a goalie, you're better off getting back ASAP. There's enough decent goalies that you might be out a job by time you get back.

- If you happen to be a player such as Alex Kovalev and you suffer a concussion, relax, the season's more than halfway done, and you won't have to worry about the playoffs anyway.

- Just because you're in a slump offensively doesn't mean you're automatically injured. Hey, you never know, you might come back and score 4 goals tonight...

- If you are missing the All-Star Game due to a concussion and your name is not Sidney Crosby, don't worry, nobody will miss you...or even notice.

*If you have something to say, positive, negative, somewhere in between, please let me know by commenting below, e-mailing me at DownGoesAvery@aol.com or by following me on Twitter (@DownGoesAvery). If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to my posts on the right side of the main page. Thanks for reading the most popular blog on the web...that's about making fun of hockey players and subliminally attacking Sean Avery run by a Devils fan.

Exclusive: Dialog from Devils' 2010 Christmas party

Every year, GM Lou Lamoriello and Devils management hosts a Christmas party that the entire team is invited to. This year, unlike most of the past two decades, the Devils are not a playoff team and in no way looking back on 2010 with good memories. With that said, there were interesting conversations that took place during the party. Take a look:

*Location: Devils' practice facility, AmeriHealth Pavilion, next to Prudential Center

Lou Lamoriello: On behalf on the New Jersey Devils, I would like to welcome you to the annual Devils Christmas party! (*hears crash in background*) As you know, we are proud to be a part of this hockey team! (*hears another crash*) For some of you, this is your first Devils Christmas party, and for others, it may be your last (*hears another crash*)...What the HELL is that??

Martin Brodeur: umm, Lou, some of the players are slipping and falling. Why did you host the party here on the ice at our practice facility?

Lou Lamoriello: I think you know very well why (*turns to Ilya Kovalchuk*).

Ilya Kovalchuk: What, me???

Lou Lamoriello: When we got handed the $3 million fine by the league, we knew we would have some budget cuts to make. (*hears another noise, and a near-fight break out*) MARTY!

Martin Brodeur: What? (*all Devils defensemen laying down on the ice holding certain parts of their bodies in pain*) I didn't do anything...

Lou Lamoriello: Anyway, umm, I am now going to recite my annual Christmas speech to you guys! (*veterans roll eyes*)

It is my honor to be part of such a proud organization that has a rich history of winning at the highest level. As you know, this season is status quo and another season that we are en route to our pursuit of our fourth Stanley Cup championship. I have been a part of this organization for...umm, well a long time, and this is the most talented group of guys I've seen yet, and...

Martin Brodeur: LOU!!!

Lou Lamoriello: Yes, Marty?

Martin Brodeur: That's the same speech you've been reading to us since 2003.

Lou Lamoriello: It is? (*checks date*) (mumbles: December 25th, 2003.) Oh, you're right, how about that? Give me one second (*shuffles through papers*), Here we go!

Dear Mr. Commissioner Gettman, ahem, Brettman, umm, Bettman! That's it! I know you and I haven't really gotten along for the better part of our careers, but I have presented a unique proposal to you. As you know, we had a rough summer trying to sign Ilya Kovalchuk to a ridiculous contract I would never have signed had I not been forced to under the watchful eyes of my owner, Jeff Vanderbeek, but I wanted to know if you would give us a refund...a re-refund...oops.

Ilya Kovalchuk: Zat ees what you sink of me??

(*Chico Resch walks in*) Chico Resch: Hey guys, sorry I'm late, I was...well it's not like I was at the Islanders Christmas party or anything! What did I miss? (*slips on ice and falls*)

Mattias Tedenby (in Swedish): (*to Henrik Tallinder, Johan Hedberg and Jacob Josefson) I'm thinking we should get the hell out of here.

Henrik Tallinder: Yeah, good idea. I'll drive. (*four Swedish players sneak out back door*)

Stan Fischler (*walking in late*): Hey, everybody. Guess what? The Rangers just gave all their players these beaut-ee-ful sweaters, look at them (*holds up sweater with FISCHLER written on back*)!

Lou Lamoriello: Now, now, Stan, you know I banned you from being on air on TV because of your bad PR, let's not start now.

Stan Fischler: You did? Huh, I didn't realize that.

Chico Resch: Can you guys hurry up, I'm really hungry!

Martin Brodeur: That makes two of us!

Lou Lamoriello: Okay, calm down guys. You know what we have to do before we eat, right?

Anton Volchenkov: Let me guess, hit everyone as hard as you can!

Lou Lamoriello: Well, not exactly.

Anton Volchenkov: YESS!!! (*goes and hip-checks David Clarkson, then knocks Colin White into boards*)

Lou Lamoriello: Anton! (*Volchenkov stops and looks at Lou*) Now, I want to go in a line, starting with the captains, and state one thing you're thankful for this past season. Jamie, we start with you.

Jamie Langenbrunner: umm, it's the last year of my contract!

Lou Lamoriello: That's very nice. Jamie, you pick the next player.

Jamie Langenbrunner: umm, Greeney, go.

Andy Greene: I'm with Jamie. Last year of my contract.

Lou Lamoriello: That's awfully nice. How about we go to Patty. You've been quiet tonight.

Patrik Elias: I am thankful that I got to represent my country in the Olympics!

Lou Lamoriello: Very good, very good! Now...(*hears banging on facility door. Turns to see an angry John MacLean banging on the door*) how about we go to...Ilya!

Ilya Kovalchuk: I em thankful zat I get zis few days off to be with my family.

(*Lou hears MacLean still banging on the window.*) Lou Lamoriello: Can someone tell John that he's not coaching here anymore?

Jacques Lemaire: Let him in, it's alright with me.

Lou Lamoriello: Well it's not alright with ME!

Jacques Lemaire: Let the man in!

Lou Lamoriello: You know what, you're FIRED!

Jamie Langenbrunner: YES!!!

Jason Arnott (*to himself*): Why exactly did I want to come back here?

Jacques Lemaire: Fine, I never wanted to come back. (*storms out door*)

Lou Lamoriello: (*heads to door*) Come on in, Johnny! Guess what, you're our new coach!

John MacLean: Again??

Lou Lamoriello: Yeah, isn't that great?

John MacLean: Actually, I just wanted to show you guys what the Rangers are giving their alumni at their Christmas party (*holds up sweater similar to Fischler's*)

Lou Lamoriello: Yeah, we know. Okay, that's it. I'm coaching this team. (*John MacLean leaves*)

*At this point, most of the Devils players are sitting on the ice looking around for food.

Zach Parise: Lou, can we please get some food here?

Lou Lamoriello: Players on IR eat last, you should know that. Oh, actually, you've never been on IR. I got that idea from Garth Snow. He makes Rick DiPietro eat last every year!

Zach Parise: (*turns to Zajac*) He thinks I'm re-signing here for nothing, too. Why don't you ask for a trade. I'll sign wherever you go.

Travis Zajac: Sure thing. My agent and I were looking at houses in Denver.

Zach Parise: Hmm, that would be fun. Paul Stastny is a good American.

Travis Zajac: Or we could go to LA.

Zach Parise: Even better!

Lou Lamoriello: Okay, rookies eat first! (*looks around*) Hey, where'd the rookies go? Where's Tedenby? Where's Josefson?

Martin Brodeur (*turns to rest of team*): This could get ugly. (*Anton Volchenkov lightly punches White in back again*)

Chris Pronger (*walks in*): Hey guys (*shoves large piece of steak in his mouth*), what's up?

Zach Parise: Oh no! (*hides*)

Chris Pronger: The, uh, food over at the Flyers Christmas party...really good stuff!!

Martin Brodeur: Really??

Chris Pronger: Sure is! Nieds and I just left there.

Lou Lamoriello: Scott Niedermayer?

Chris Pronger: Yeah! Practically the whole Canadian Olympic team was there!

Martin Brodeur: Wait, why didn't they call me?

Chris Pronger: Well, you know...anyway, I'll see you later, guys! (*stuffs more food into mouth and leaves*)

Martin Brodeur: Lou, where's the food?

Lou Lamoriello: (*checks watch*) Don't worry, everything is status quo! (*turns to Jeff Vanderbeek*) Dammit, we're not retiring Niedermayer's number!

Jeff Vanderbeek: Please, Lou, please! I need to sell out at least one more game this year!

Lou Lamoriello: Fine. (*takes out phone and dials number*) Hi, Jacques? Yeah, you're hired again. (*hangs up*)

Sean Avery (*enters room in new modeling clothes*): Hey, do you guys know where Stan Fischler went? He left right before his turn at the karaoke came!

Stan Fischler: Here we go! (*runs for exit and leaves*)

Sean Avery: Oh, okay, haven't seen him? It's okay, we'll find him! (*waves at Martin Brodeur*) Oh, by the way, did you know if I was on the Devils, I'd be 4th in points! 4th!!! AND I lead the league in penalty minutes! (*Leaves*)

Lou Lamoriello: Anyway, that's all the time we have for tonight, thanks for coming and we'll see you at practice on the 26th!

Martin Brodeur: Ugh... (*looks outside and sees Gary Bettman drive by and waves at Marty*) I swear I saw Sidney Crosby in that car...

Chico Resch: I'm going back to the Islanders party, I'm starving!

Ilya Kovalchuk: I miss zee Thrashers!

Lou Lamoriello (*picks up phone*): Oh, just got invited to board of governors Christmas party! See ya, guys! If any alumni come, they're welcome to the food.

Chico Resch (*turns around*): Food???