Monday, June 13, 2011

Devils players' survey: the next head coach

Under Lou Lamoriello, it seems that the New Jersey Devils go through more head coaches than Don Cherry goes through eye-shattering suits.  Well, it's another summer, which means Lamoriello must hire yet another head coach for his Devils.  Although Lou doesn't really care, I've managed to obtain the players' suggestions to Lou regarding who should coach the Devils next year.  Take a look!

Ilya Kovalchuk - Lou Lamoriello spent hours on the phone last night trying to find out who this "Ilya Kovalchuk" guy is that Ilya Kovalchuk keeps suggesting should coach the Devils next season.

Zach Parise - Parise anonymously voted for that "Ilya Kovalchuk" fellow after Kovy volunteered to send $100 million Parise's way since Devils management doesn't want to offer Parise a contract.

Travis Zajac - Zajac seems reluctant to send in his suggestion until Calgary fires Brent Sutter.  Funny...that name sounds vaguely familiar.

Brian Rolston - Every time Rolston searches "Jacques Lemaire," he sees a message that says "retired."  As we know, that only applies until December.

Adam Mair - Lou Lamoriello doesn't seem to care what Adam Mair thinks.

Colin White - Lamoriello has always favored White, so when White dropped his suggestion for "nobody" to coach the Devils, Lou started listening.

John MacLean - Lou has set MacLean's e-mail address to "spam" after receiving daily e-mails about why everyone deserves a second chance.

Martin Brodeur - Brodeur's suggestion of Lou Lamoriello as the next Devils coach seems like a nice gesture to Lou.  It has nothing to do with the fact that Marty could be 'kissing up' as he's entering a contract year...

Mattias Tedenby - Tedenby was going to vote for Ken Hitchcock, but then he heard that Hitchcock cared about 2-way Jacques Lemaire did.

Entire NY Rangers and Flyers rosters - John MacLean.

Richard Bloch - Bloch doesn't seem to care who coaches the Devils, but he promises to fine the Devils in any possible way once Gary Bettman rejects the coach's contract.