Welcome to the official DEBUT of Down Goes Avery. My goal is to give you insight into the world of hockey, and there's no covering up. If you leave this blog thinking "wow, this guy just gave me more insight than Pierre McGuire!" then I've done my job. Since that is virtually impossible, hopefully you'll leave having laughed...a little.
- Don Cherry is still whining about the U.S. beating Canada in the World Juniors this past January. It is true that the U.S. actually dressed most of their top prospects for the tournament, but it's also true that Canada dressed a captain who is best known for elbowing a guy in the head and pleading guilty in court for assaulting him...Patrice Cormier.
- Rumors leaked this morning that Colin Campbell's e-mail account was hacked into. Well, I looked into this and it turns out that this was in fact true, after all, as commissioner Gary Bettman said, Campbell "takes his job seriously," Right, Mr. Bettman, you know all about taking jobs seriously. As it turns out, Gary Bettman hacked into Campbell's account. What's funny is that every e-mail ended in "haha" or "2012 lockout."
- Pat Burns, who coached Montreal, Toronto and Boston before winning a Stanley Cup with the New Jersey Devils in 2003, passed away yesterday at age 58. Ex-Maple Leaf Gaye Stewart passed as well, Stewart won the 1942 and 1947 Stanley Cup with Toronto. That's not supposed to be sarcastic, either.
- Mike Moore recently scored his first NHL goal for the San Jose Sharks. Congratulations dude, with one more goal, you'll tie Martin Brodeur on the all-time goal list.
- According to E.J. Hradek, there have been 25 hat tricks this year, the most at this point in a season since 1993. Solution to this crisis: teams should stop pulling their goalies while trailing late in the game. Trust me, we'll have three hat tricks the rest of the year if teams do that. Maybe four.
- Alexander Burmistrov scored a pretty goal against the Capitals last night, making Thrasher fan[s] miss Ilya Kovalchuk even less. Think about it, Evander Kane and Niclas Bergfors have as many or more goals than Kovalchuk this season, and Burmistrov has 3. Look out, Ilya, you have competition. What would have made Burmistrov's goal more exciting is if the Thrashers allowed their usual four goals per game. Burmistrov's goal would have been the game-winning goal.
- Speaking of the Devils, watching Anton Volchenkov forecheck the other night in Toronto was quite amusing. I mean what's next: Volchenkov scoring? I'm sure Volchenkov thought coach John MacLean was asking him to actually finish a check, and forecheck was just a funny word for it.
- The Dallas Stars are struggling to put people in the seats. Right now they're 26th in the league with a mere 13,861 fans per game, which is 13,561 miserable Cowboy fans that need a better way to spend their nights, and 100 season ticket holders for the Stars, give or take 25.
- Martin Brodeur is still complaining about the trapezoid.
- Leafs GM Brian Burke was seen scouting Caps LW Alexander Semin, raising speculation that Burke was ready to hand over his 2011 first round draft pick to acquire Semin. Oh wait...that's right. Never mind.
- The Calgary Flames scored 7 goals against the Chicago Blackhawks. That's no typo. Good thing they weren't playing the Tampa Bay Lightning, or they would have lost, just ask the Flyers.
- Devils captain Jamie Langenbrunner was asked about the passing of Pat Burns. His response "hold on, I need to find a response from my guide to what a captain should say when an announcer says something to me." That explains a lot.
- The Islanders are winless in 11 games now, which means after a one year scare, the Islanders are back to being the league's most pathetic team, which suits them because of the building they play in.
- Alex Ovechkin has a lousy 10 goals this year. With Steven Stamkos at 19 goals already, it's the farthest back Ovechkin has been from the leader in goals in his career. In his rookie season, he finished four goals behind Jonathan Cheechoo's 56 goals in 2005-06. Where's Cheechoo these days? Actually, he's in Worcester in the AHL, and he's averaging a point per game (5/10/15 in 15 games this season), and he's playing against some very wealthy, notable players such as Sheldon Souray and Wade Redden.
- Derek Boogaard broke his 233-game goal-less streak with a goal against the Washington Capitals recently, but he's working on a new streak. He's at 2 already.
Well, that's all for the first post. It's a work in progress, obviously.