The NHL's Other New TV Shows

NBC Sports recently launched NHL 36, a 36-hour look into the life of an NHL player.  There's also the return of HBO's 24/7 series, but even with those two shows, some NHL fans are still left wanting more.  Luckily, I've been able to put together some ideas for some new NHL TV shows, and after making a few phone calls, I think I can get at least one of them on the air!  Take a look and tell me which one you'd like to see on the air.

They always say you should love what you do.

"CAKE BOSS"

Program description: NHL star Kyle Wellwood takes you into the kitchen where he shows fans his second passion: really fattening desserts.

Starring: Kyle Wellwood and anyone not named your nutritionist.

Airs: Weekly, all year.

"Hey, look, we're on TV!"

"CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"

Program description: A comedy series that follows one of the NHL's best teams around during the playoffs.

Starring: Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau and a special visit from Dany Heatley.

Airs: Every Spring.





Jobing.com Arena is the best building nobody's ever heard of.


"EMPTY HOUSE"

Program description: Bob Saget hosts a multi-part documentary about the Jobing.com Arena.

Starring: Everyone who's ever tried to re-locate the Phoenix Coyotes and failed.

Airs: 41 nights per year.






Some say his elbows actually require Performance-Reducing Drugs
just to stay healthy.



"EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS"

Program description: A comedy that looks at the life and career of a large and irritating and self-concussing NHL defenseman.

Starring: Chris Pronger.

Airs: Between Chris Pronger injuries.





"Look mom!  No teeth!"




"HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"

Program description: A plot-oriented story in which Pittsburgh radio hosts randomly accuse hockey superstars and their Russian mothers of using steroids.

Starring: Alexander Ovechkin, Alexander Ovechkin's mother, John Steigerwald and a special guest appearance by Ryan Lambert.

Airs: Any time John Steigerwald says something stupid.  So constantly.

Prizes may be rejected due to the spirit of the CBA.

"I DREAM OF KOVY"

Program description: A fantasy game show where hockey players with huge contracts grant people three wishes to see who wins prizes.

Starring: Ilya Kovalchuk.

Airs: The 17th day of each month.





I guess it should be re-named "Tampa Bay Snore" now...


"JERSEY SNORE"

Program description: The show is often mocked at by the rest of the league, but this is reality TV at its finest.  It's a TRAP.

Starring: Jacques Lemaire, anyone to ever play hockey in New Jersey.  Except Mattias Tedenby.

Airs: When you're asleep.

"Umm, Colie, you're way behind on your suspension quota."

"LAW AND DISORDER"

Program description: A look into the NHL's War Room and discipline department and how the league is a flat-out mess.

Starring: Gary Bettman, Colin Campbell, Brendan Shanahan and whoever else is about to be unemployed.

Airs: The day after Andy Sutton tries to kill someone.



I know dogs with longer leashes than this guy.




"MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE"

Program description: Hockey players in Vancouver are given next-to-impossible tasks and expected by their fans to complete them, or else riots break out.

Starring: Roberto Luongo, occasional visits from the Chicago Blackhawks.

Airs: Every April in Vancouver, British Columbia or Chicago, Illinois.







1967 was a long, long time ago.  Just saying...


"THE BLUNDER YEARS"

Program description: A look inside Toronto's prized NHL franchise and trying to find out just what has gone wrong over the last 40+ years.

Starring: Lots of hockey players.

Airs: Will air from now until the Leafs' next Cup.






Due to available space (or lack of), we couldn't
show you the rest of Brian Gionta.


 "TWO AND A HALF MEN"

Program description: A look at Canada's three eastern NHL teams and why one of them is a little shorter than the rest.

Starring: The Senators, Maple Leafs and Canadiens.  You figure out who the "half men" are.

Airs: Every Hockey Night in Canada.


A lot of Rangers players get stuck on the easy questions,
such as "what is the Stanley Cup?"




"WHO WANTS TO BE A ZILLIONAIRE"

Program description: A new game show in which Rangers management opens its wallet to the best and usually most expensive contestants to play for their hockey team (and sometimes their basketball team, too).

Starring: James Dolan, Glen Sather, Brad Richards, Marian Gaborik, Wade Redden and MANY more!

Airs: July 1st, annually.






So there you have it.  The NHL has a lot of options for its new television shows.  I hope I have helped the league find a new way to market the talent in the NHL!

For a complete list of sources in which many of the pictures are from, click here.