Breaking down Brandon Dubinsky's comments about Jody Shelley

"That's what he'll look like by the time I'm done with him." - Dubinsky (not actually a quote.)
Photo from Broadstreethockey.com

Last year's HBO 24/7 series featured Bruce Boudreau and some colorful language.  Well, Boudreau is now unemployed, but Brandon Dubinsky is doing his share to hype up this year's 24/7 series.  In case, you missed it, here are some of Dubinsky's comments regarding Jody Shelley and what he really meant to say (you can read the original article here).

Rangers forward Brandon Dubinsky fired back at Flyers enforcer Jody Shelley, who called him a "weasel" in HBO's 15-minute "24/7" teaser.

"For the first time in the Gary Bettman era, NHL players expressed emotion."

"It won't be long before he's out of the league, because he's a terrible hockey player," Dubinsky told the New York Daily News on Monday.

"My buddy Prust has been warming up his elbows for our next game against the Flyers."

Dubinsky, who led the Rangers in scoring last season*, continued to blast his former teammate.

*Not a difficult thing to do last season.

"First of all, if I was him, I'd keep my mouth shut if I don't play, especially since I never see him on the ice."

"BizNasty plays more than this guy."

"He's usually just yapping from the bench, and I guess now he's yapping from behind the video camera. So that's about all I have to say."

"I follow BizNasty on Twitter, but I would never follow Shelley.  Take that, Jody!"

But he didn't stop there. The 25-year-old forward also called Flyers antagonist Zac Rinaldo "an idiot.*"

*Upon further review, Dubinsky's comment about Rinaldo is, in fact, a fact.

"I think he's an idiot.  He's not really a good hockey player. So if that's what he does to try to get under our skin, I don't think it works very well. He's not very effective at it. I think they should just keep putting him on the ice because he's a liability against us."

"This Rinaldo guy is exactly like Sean Avery...oh wait, you didn't hear that!"

Top 10 Video Special - Coaches who lost their first game

Welcome to the 12th edition of DGA's Top 10 Video Special.  Earlier today, the Carolina Hurricanes and Washington Capitals both announced new head coaches to their hockey teams: Kirk Muller and Dale Hunter, respectively.  Since I'm an optimistic person, let's take a look at some head coaches whose first game with their teams didn't go so well.  Note the theme of Atlantic Division coaches in this countdown. 


#10 - John Tortorella (New York Rangers)

Tortorella's coaching debut with the Rangers ended in a shootout loss.

#9 - Jack Capuano (New York Islanders)

The Islanders had lost 10 in a row before Capuano came in, and well, things didn't really turn around.  They still haven't.

#8 - Jacques Lemaire (New Jersey Devils)

What would a coaching countdown be without some representation from the Devils?

#7 - John MacLean (New Jersey Devils)

Okay, how about two from the Devils?

#6 - Scott Arniel (Columbus Blue Jackets)

It isn't susprising that the Jackets lost, though, is it?

#5 - Paul MacLean (Ottawa Senators)

MacLean's first game as a coach resulted in a loss.

#4 - Peter DeBoer (New Jersey Devils)

Did I mention the Devils change coaches a lot?

#3 - Jacques Lemaire...again (New Jersey Devils)

Again...

 

#2 - Claude Noël (Winnipeg Jets)

Well, as Jim Hughson says, the Jets really won this game because they got their team back...

#1 - Peter Laviolette (Philadelphia Flyers)

Lavy watched as the Caps had one of the longest power plays in NHL history during his first game in Philly.



So there's my Top 10.  Didn't like it?  Have a better idea for a Top 10 special?  Comment below, e-mail me (downgoesavery@aol.com) or tweet to me (@DownGoesAvery).  I'm always looking for new and better ideas.

NHL Power Rankings - Week of November 27th, 2011

Here we go: Week 7 of the 2011-12 season and DGA's Week 7 NHL Power Rankings.  Absolutely nothing worthy of discussion happened this week, so let's start.

1. Boston Bruins (+8) - If Tyler Seguin wins the Selke Trophy and Phil Kessel wins the Art Ross, Rocket Richard and Hart Trophy, does that mean the Bruins won the trade by Claude Julien's logic?

2. Detroit Red Wings (+4) - Datsyuk and Zetterberg are back to being their superhuman, partially robotic selves again, thus restoring normalcy to the world.

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (--) - So when does Crosby come back?

4. Minnesota Wild (-3) - They recently signed a 51-year old fan to an amateur contract as an emergency goalie, which is something a franchise such as Philadelphia or the NY Islanders would do.

5. San Jose Sharks (-3) - "The Sharks really miss Dany Heatley." - nobody.

6. Chicago Blackhawks (-2) - "Chelsea Dagger" is the most played song in the city of Chicago.*

*Not confirmed.
7. New York Rangers (--) - Henrik Lundqvist's 37th career shutout (against the Flyers this past Friday) moves him within 79 of Martin Brodeur's shutout record.

8. Toronto Maple Leafs (-3) - Considering that the Leafs sustain more injuries in a week than a dummy at a military target practice, Brian Burke hasn't overreacted and started trading for every player on the market.

9. Philadelphia Flyers (-1) - Paul Holmgren watched as the Wild signed a fan as the emergency goalie and may have gotten some ideas from that.  Maybe that's why the Flyers are holding a goaltending tryout session this week which is open to the public.

10. Florida Panthers (+7) - Jason Garrison has twice as many goals as assists...and he's a defenseman.  Also interesting: his 8 goals in 23 games this season are more than his goal total from his entire 113 previous games combined.

11. Phoenix Coyotes (+4) - The Coyotes will be taking the rejects from the Flyers goalie tryouts and turning them into Vezina candidates.

12. Vancouver Canucks (+6) - Roberto Luongo managed to get his goals against average under 3.00 this week.

13. St. Louis Blues (+6) - Ken Hitchcock has revitalized the Blues thanks to one word: defense.

14. Buffalo Sabres (-4) - Lindy Ruff's Milan Lucic punching bag really fires up the team before every game.

15. Los Angeles Kings (-3) - Perhaps the Kings acquired the wrong Richards last summer.

16. Nashville Predators (-5) - Fact: Pekka Rinne has more assists than Jerred Smithson this season.

17. Dallas Stars (-3) - Well, losing your starting goalie isn't the end of the world.  Look at the Buffalo S...okay never mind.

18. Washington Capitals (-5) - Don't worry, Bruce, Alex Ovechkin and Semin don't hate you enough to torch your car...yet.

19. New Jersey Devils (-3) - The NHL's newest anti-Devils strategy is to wipe out any game-tying goal with under 5 seconds remaining in the third period.

20. Tampa Bay Lightning (--) - Upon asking about acquiring Jonathan Bernier, Steve Yzerman laughed hysterically when Deam Lombardi asked for Victor Hedman, but then realized Lombardi was serious.

21. Montreal Canadiens (+3) - Andrei Markov is almost ready to return to the Habs' lineup, which means they'll have a quality defensemen for about two weeks, before Markov inevitably crashes into the boards and injures himself again.

22. Ottawa Senators (--) - As it turns out, Paul MacLean doesn't suck as much as the last NHL head coach with his last name did.

23. Winnipeg Jets (+2) - Dustin Byfuglien is the best defensemen in the league who never learned to skate backwards.

24. Edmonton Oilers (-3) - Now that Taylor Hall is injured, Steve Tambellini plans to have Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Jordan Eberle scratched in order to restore his annual 1st Overall Draft Pick Party in June.

25. Colorado Avalanche (-2) - That Semyon Varlamov trade probably wasn't the best goaltender acquisition in Avs' history...

26. Calgary Flames (--) - Jarome Iginla is definitely getting traded this year, just as he was last year and just as Brett Favre definitely retired four years ago.

27. Carolina Hurricanes (+1) - Tomas Kaberle is on the trade block...again.  He's bound to draw at least an 8th round pick in return...

28. New York Islanders (+1) - They finally got their first road win of the season, thanks to Michael Grabner's 700 breakaways in two games against the Devils this week.

29. Anaheim Ducks (-2) - Perhaps we have a new Fail for Nail favorite destination?

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (--) - It was tempting to move the Jackets out of 30th this week.

First Quarter NHL Report Cards

Most NHL teams have now completed 20 games of the 2011-12 season, which is the traditional quarter mark of the season.  As usual, the so-called "experts" have been wrong about lots of things during this season and will continue to be wrong as the season moves on, but it's time to give out first quarter grades to some NHL players.  Have a look.


Phil Kessel - Kessel is showing that he's the most offensively gifted player the Leafs have dressed since... (I'm thinking...wait for it...), okay well I'm not that old!  He's the best Leafs player in a long time.
Grade: A+

Alex Ovechkin - Alex has not produced at his typical pace this year, in fact, if this continues, Phil Kessel may want to get his camera out for the All-Star Fantasy Draft in Ottawa.
Grade: C

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins - Calling RNH the best Oilers teenager since Wayne Gretzky is a bit pre-mature.  I mean, let's wait for this kid to establish himself, such as recording his first hat trick or 5-point game or...oh, I see.
Grade: A+

Jonathan Toews - It seems that Toews matures as a player and as a leader every season.  This season, he's learned to score goals at a higher rate and how to apply different facial expressions.
Grade: A

Pavel Datsyuk - It took Red Wings management a few extra weeks to change the batteries on the Datsyukian machine, but now it's fixed and working pretty well.
Grade: B

Brad Richards - Interestingly enough, it didn't take Brad Richards as much time to get used to John Tortorella's tactics and rants the way most new acquisitions do.
Grade: B+

Sidney Crosby - If you think about it, Crosby is off to a tough start this season.  He's only averaging a point per game on the road through one game and if he keeps letting his elbow fly, he'll be on his way to Brendan Shanahan's office.
Grade: A+

Eric Staal - The fact that Staal is suddenly on pace for about 40 points this season, while he's usually around 80, has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he injured his brother.
Grade: D

Dustin Byfuglien - One thing Byfuglien seems to consistently lack from his game as a defenseman is the ability to play defense.
Grade: B-

Ilya Kovalchuk - Kovalchuk loves to be involved with offense when he's on the ice.  Unfortunately, that doesn't necessarily mean he's always helping the Devils do the scoring...
Grade: C-

Corey Perry - Perry insisted that he could improve as a player coming into this season, even after scoring 50 goals last season.  The problem is, other than in penalty minutes, his numbers are down.
Grade: C+

Steven Stamkos - If Stamkos can put up these kinds of offensive numbers under Guy Boucher and the defensive 1-3-1 system, imagine what he could do under Bruce Boudreau...or maybe not.
Grade: A

Nicklas Lidstrom - When defensemen like Lidstrom keep improving every season, you wonder how good he'll be when he reaches the prime of his career.
Grade: A+

Wade Redden - Just 5 assists for Redden this season.  And he's in the minors.
Grade: F (for FAIL)

Rick DiPietro - The Islanders have an injured goalie not named DiPietro.  Jack Capuano's new strategy of only playing him once a month seems to be doing wonders for Rick's health.
Grade: D+

Sidney Crosby's return day schedule of events

It seems Crosby used his time away from the game to work on his facial-hair-growing ability.

Unless you either live under a rock or are so devastated about the NBA lockout that you refuse to watch anything having to do with sports, in which case you probably wouldn't be reading this blog post, you are aware of Sidney Crosby's sensational return to the NHL last night, because after all, CBC and Versus interrupted their scheduled programming to broadcast the game nationally in Canada and the U.S., respectively.  Crosby had two goals and two assists as the Penguins beat the Islanders, 5-0, but there was more to Crosby's day yesterday than just the hockey game.  Take a look at some of the other significant events of Sidney's return day.


9:18 AM - After waking up, Crosby performs his daily morning routine, which includes telling the media that sits outside his house to stop waiting for him, because he has no news to tell them.

9:19 AM - Crosby leaves his house out the back door.

9:42 AM - He arrives early to the morning skate so he can be cleared for the final time by doctors, including concussion expert Mark Recchi.

9:47 AM - The final test Crosby must clear in the presence of doctors is the getting-elbowed-in-the-face-by-Matt-Cooke survival test.

10:08 AM - As Crosby's linemates arrive for the morning skate and realize that he's officially in the lineup, they pop dozens of bottles of champagne to celebrate.

11:33 AM - Crosby is the last player off ice for the morning skate, but he finds it difficult to navigate back to his locker due to an unusual increase in the media presence at the arena.

1:09 PM - After escaping the media at the Consol Energy Center, Crosby calls Alex Ovechkin and tells him, "I'm back, so you might want to think about starting to play hockey yourself."

4:04 PM - The Islanders' team bus arrives at the Consol Energy Center.  Rookie goaltender Anders Nilsson bursts into tears in joy that so many extra media outlets came to witness his first career start.

4:05 PM - Kyle Okposo corrects Nilsson and tells him why the media is really at the game: to watch his return to the lineup.

4:06 PM - Islanders coach Jack Capuano tells Nilsson and Okposo to stop arguing with each other because only lousy hockey teams have such bad chemistry.  This is followed by a long awkward silence.

4:30 PM - Gary Bettman picks Crosby up to leave for the arena in a dented old sedan.  When Crosby asks why Bettman showed up in that car, Bettman start sweating and said "it'll disguise us when we park."  (Truth be told, it's Bettman's real car.*)

* Not factual.

5:06 PM - Every media member asks Crosby the same exact question just so they can say that they had a unique question for him.

5:22 PM - A group of NHL scouts arrive to watch the Penguins' new center in action.  Coincidentally, all of them have been sent by Glen Sather, who plans to offer Crosby a massive contract in July, despite Crosby not being a free agent.

6:29 PM - Right before pre-game warm-ups, Mario Lemieux pulls Crosby aside and jokingly says "whatever you do, don't do better than I did in my return game."

6:31 PM - As warm-ups begin, the local earthquake center is informed of a report that there is a tremendous amount of ground-shaking in the proximity of the Consol Energy Center.

7:06 PM - Seconds before puck drop, Crosby goes to the refs and reminds them about the usual procedure: any time a player pulls to within a foot of Crosby, it's a penalty.

7:20 PM - The earthquake center receives a report of extreme ground shaking, again coming from the Consol Energy Center.  Incidentally, Crosby has just scored his first goal on his second shift back.

7:23 PM - Every American officially calls Crosby's "return" goal the most important goal he's ever scored.

7:23 PM - Every Canadian officially calls Crosby's "return" goal the best goal he's scored outside of Vancouver.

9:30 PM - Anders Nilsson skates off the ice following his team's 5-0 loss to the Penguins and asks his coach "so that Crosby guy...is he always that good?"

9:34 PM - The media again bombards Crosby with pretty much the exact same question over and over again.

10:12 PM - As Crosby leaves the arena, he sees a text message from Alex Ovechkin: "haha, I got an assist tonight!  How'd you do?!"



Picture: http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Sidney-Crosby-anxious-for-hits-whether-giving-?urn=nhl-wp17927